She Said and He Laughed

This is a variant on my “he said, she said” stories. Someone I know where the relationship transcended the working. The friendly, working relationship became friend.

Yes I do separate church and state. My friends are good about recognizing the lines between helping out a friend and work. My friends also know I like to eat, well.

I don’t mind being a sounding board for friends. If we’re talking more than generalities that means I like you and am willing to open up some. I speak differently with the people I’m friends and friendly with than I do with people I just work with. Most of us do that; speak differently in our work relationships than we do in our interpersonal relationships.

Those communication modes are normal and usual. In our interpersonal relationships we have a different comfort level. That difference in turn makes it easier for us to express without fear of offence or being misunderstood.

I am no different and enjoy the comforts and ease of conversing with friends.

I have been asked if I think before I speak and I truthfully answer, “No”. That is the short answer and it is correct and not in depth enough. I rarely have to put thought in to what I say because I learned how to speak. The ability can be learned and isn’t thoughtless because I am not inconsiderate or rude. In fact what comes out of my mouth is thoughtful and well delivered because I learned how to do that.

Thoughtless speaking, a concept there that might be difficult to grasp as I’ve explained it because most people associate thoughtless speaking with rude behaviour.

Why the preamble about relationship and speech? What you’re about to read is a conversation from one person’s concern and seeking out a knowledgeable, experienced friend to talk to. The exchange is looser and freer than with a client and that is what you’ll see read in this engaged exchange.

Some pretty nice stuff in here and if you have the friend relationship and familial relationship you’ll see here, smile, cuz you’re doing good!

Friend speaks in Italics
My speak in regular case

~.~.~.~.~

Hello Mr Hambley

Ms … how b u

Not good sir
Not good

What is taking place?

Hmmm
Kids

Okay

Please give me an opinion

Is this going to be something I can better answer with thought as in email?

Well if I don’t wind down I’m gonna get a pain
No it’s ok here

Okay and slow down

Son wants a tattoo

Okay
I have one remember?

Not subtle……wow
Yeah but yours is subtle

I mean slow yourself down, you know how

Okay

Simple stuff what I tell everyone;
If you’re going to get one it better mean a lot to you as you’re going to have it for a long time
If you’re going to do it, don’t just pick out of a book

Anarchist!!!!!!
That’s what he wants
An anarchist tattoo
The word

Does he understand what the word means?
Really understand?

Is my kid a terrorist????
What the hell did I do wrong!

Your kid is protesting

No shit Sherlock

You did nothing wrong and in fact have done right

We had such a fight today

Ms this is something we’ve spoken of, it has to be the kids
Tell you what, lemme write this up
I’ll use it as one of my coaching/coping skills pieces
Tell son what I’m doing and to hang on

Ok

Good
Next

I’m upset my friend

I know you are
He’s rebelling … he’s a teenager

I know but he ain’t stupid or so I thought till this morning

It’s what they do. Especially ones with conscience. Now where the hell do you think he got that from?
Good job mom!

Hmmm

You feeling a bit like an oreo cookie?
Creamy stuff between two hard biscuits?
LMAO

LoL

There ya go

I knew you laughed when I told you he wanted a tattoo
I can even see the face

Tattoos are also cultural of the age

Well I gave him my rules
Sterile environment

Of course
And ask around of people who have them where they got the art done

And to do a small one….where if he doesn’t want it anymore it’s not in his face

Let me find something
Wait for this…..

When he had me really worked up

He said…..ok…..he’s gonna do it on his fists
One hand ROCK HARD…..other…..ROCK LONG

Ahhhhhh the heavy metal has him
What you’re looking at in my image is the art I created for a tattoo for myself

And it means

It is Latin and it means, “know thyself”

See I don’t have an issue with that Gary
I ask him to look at this

well duh … it’s on Gary not son …. LMAO
Yes please do have him look. Mine is for the point of my shoulder
I’m not a fan of those arm slogans

I know…..I meant it means something
Now we moved from fist to arm
He is killing me Gary

The lines on text are never fine enough to make it legible for a long time

Next thing he wants a nipple ring

yup … the boy has given over to metal

And his moms early death

You’ll be fine
You do understand, boy, young man, challenging boundaries?
Pushing the “rents” buttons?

I’m trying

Keep that in mind when he talks
He’s going to stretch out Ms … he’s testing himself too
Look, He’s talking to you
This is a good thing

Hmmmm

He doesn’t need your permission for a lot of things anymore and he is still talking to you, put that in the “you done good” category

We’re fighting
Thank you

You are welcome
You are disagreeing not fighting

No I’m not
I’m just trying to relax….

Don’t rant at each other
Refuse to engage, keep your wits
You know that and argument and a fight are different things right?

Yes

Argue in control. You’ll argue better in that state. Hell, ask your sis if I’m right

I’m not a fighter you know

Yeah you are
Prefer to talk

Arguing your point is fighting for your point
The mindset and behaviour are different and it leaves you open to hear what others are saying

Hmmm
Well I’ll calm down and raise it again tomorrow

Good

Thank you

I’ll start writing it today.

It’s good with me I know you’ll do it right

Thank you
FYI …. When I got my tat, it took a lot of control to not go and get another right away. They can be addictive.

Thanks for that upsetting piece of info Mr Hambley

I prefer to see it as arming you for the argument
People say to me, “how can you only have one?”
Nobody has just one
LMAO

Gary
It’s enough now
Please be a lill bitty on my side
Please

I am on your side

Thank you Mr Hambley

You are welcome

I’ll talk to you again
Feeling better though
A little bit

G.R. Hambley February 28, 2016
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