She Said and He Laughed
This is a variant on my “he said, she said” stories. Someone I know where the relationship transcended the working. The friendly, working relationship became friend.
Yes I do separate church and state. My friends are good about recognizing the lines between helping out a friend and work. My friends also know I like to eat, well.
I don’t mind being a sounding board for friends. If we’re talking more than generalities that means I like you and am willing to open up some. I speak differently with the people I’m friends and friendly with than I do with people I just work with. Most of us do that; speak differently in our work relationships than we do in our interpersonal relationships.
Those communication modes are normal and usual. In our interpersonal relationships we have a different comfort level. That difference in turn makes it easier for us to express without fear of offence or being misunderstood.
I am no different and enjoy the comforts and ease of conversing with friends.
I have been asked if I think before I speak and I truthfully answer, “No”. That is the short answer and it is correct and not in depth enough. I rarely have to put thought in to what I say because I learned how to speak. The ability can be learned and isn’t thoughtless because I am not inconsiderate or rude. In fact what comes out of my mouth is thoughtful and well delivered because I learned how to do that.
Thoughtless speaking, a concept there that might be difficult to grasp as I’ve explained it because most people associate thoughtless speaking with rude behaviour.
Why the preamble about relationship and speech? What you’re about to read is a conversation from one person’s concern and seeking out a knowledgeable, experienced friend to talk to. The exchange is looser and freer than with a client and that is what you’ll see read in this engaged exchange.
Some pretty nice stuff in here and if you have the friend relationship and familial relationship you’ll see here, smile, cuz you’re doing good!
Friend speaks in Italics
My speak in regular case
Hello Mr Hambley
Ms … how b u
Not good sir
What is taking place?
Please give me an opinion
Is this going to be something I can better answer with thought as in email?
Well if I don’t wind down I’m gonna get a pain
No it’s ok here
Okay and slow down
Son wants a tattoo
I have one remember?
Yeah but yours is subtle
I mean slow yourself down, you know how
Simple stuff what I tell everyone;
If you’re going to get one it better mean a lot to you as you’re going to have it for a long time
If you’re going to do it, don’t just pick out of a book
That’s what he wants
An anarchist tattoo
Does he understand what the word means?
Is my kid a terrorist????
What the hell did I do wrong!
Your kid is protesting
No shit Sherlock
You did nothing wrong and in fact have done right
We had such a fight today
Ms this is something we’ve spoken of, it has to be the kids
Tell you what, lemme write this up
I’ll use it as one of my coaching/coping skills pieces
Tell son what I’m doing and to hang on
I’m upset my friend
I know you are
He’s rebelling … he’s a teenager
I know but he ain’t stupid or so I thought till this morning
It’s what they do. Especially ones with conscience. Now where the hell do you think he got that from?
Good job mom!
You feeling a bit like an oreo cookie?
Creamy stuff between two hard biscuits?
There ya go
I knew you laughed when I told you he wanted a tattoo
I can even see the face
Tattoos are also cultural of the age
Well I gave him my rules
And ask around of people who have them where they got the art done
And to do a small one….where if he doesn’t want it anymore it’s not in his face
Let me find something
Wait for this…..
When he had me really worked up
He said…..ok…..he’s gonna do it on his fists
One hand ROCK HARD…..other…..ROCK LONG
Ahhhhhh the heavy metal has him
What you’re looking at in my image is the art I created for a tattoo for myself
And it means
It is Latin and it means, “know thyself”
See I don’t have an issue with that Gary
I ask him to look at this
well duh … it’s on Gary not son …. LMAO
Yes please do have him look. Mine is for the point of my shoulder
I’m not a fan of those arm slogans
I know…..I meant it means something
Now we moved from fist to arm
He is killing me Gary
The lines on text are never fine enough to make it legible for a long time
Next thing he wants a nipple ring
yup … the boy has given over to metal
And his moms early death
You’ll be fine
You do understand, boy, young man, challenging boundaries?
Pushing the “rents” buttons?
Keep that in mind when he talks
He’s going to stretch out Ms … he’s testing himself too
Look, He’s talking to you
This is a good thing
He doesn’t need your permission for a lot of things anymore and he is still talking to you, put that in the “you done good” category
You are welcome
You are disagreeing not fighting
No I’m not
I’m just trying to relax….
Don’t rant at each other
Refuse to engage, keep your wits
You know that and argument and a fight are different things right?
Argue in control. You’ll argue better in that state. Hell, ask your sis if I’m right
I’m not a fighter you know
Yeah you are
Prefer to talk
Arguing your point is fighting for your point
The mindset and behaviour are different and it leaves you open to hear what others are saying
Well I’ll calm down and raise it again tomorrow
I’ll start writing it today.
It’s good with me I know you’ll do it right
FYI …. When I got my tat, it took a lot of control to not go and get another right away. They can be addictive.
Thanks for that upsetting piece of info Mr Hambley
I prefer to see it as arming you for the argument
People say to me, “how can you only have one?”
Nobody has just one
It’s enough now
Please be a lill bitty on my side
I am on your side
Thank you Mr Hambley
You are welcome
I’ll talk to you again
Feeling better though
A little bit
G.R. Hambley February 28, 2016
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