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Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Category Archives: Awareness

No Problem

No Problem

I asked someone the other day to pull my finger and they did, after I explained why.

I’ve been forthcoming with what I do, like, dislike about my health care.

I went to the pharmacy I use after seeing my Doctor the other day and on this visit the injection regime included cortisone for my hand. That was why I needed my finger pulled the next day; think traction.

Currently I’m having to use 2 hands to do some of the things on the keyboard that I would do with one hand.

As a point of information, I have one digit on my left hand that works correctly and if you’d care to see that digit, lemme know.

I take pharmaceutical marijuana (Cesamet/Nabilone), when it can be had. The pharmacy tells me there is a supply line problem, again/still. I said, “no problem”.

The pharmacy I deal with is terrific. Good at their job, personable and genuinely caring. No, it is not a name brand box store pharmacy.

We’ve discussed the problem before and I have made my pharmacy aware of the things I’ve done. What I’ve done is get my medical marijuana card in order and bought an herb vaporizer.

I’ve stated this position previously and I’ll state it again, it is my opinion that “Medical Marijuana” be in the hands of the pharmacies. They have your prescription records and will be aware of interactions your recreational seller won’t have or even care about. It isn’t up to those sellers or anyone, to manage your recreation.

Only in the legislative world do 0.5 and 0.5 not add up to 1.0.

The numbers are capsule dosages in milligrams. One of the two items I take is a controlled substance (not narcotic), the prescription language is critical. The pharmacy just can’t give you 2 of the 0.5’s to make a 1.0 because of the language in the legislation. I know, beyond stupid.

This is what I purchased to ensure that if the supply line falters, I’m good.

I picked this herb vaporiser for aroma therapy after doing my homework. I’m a teacher, I don’t just give homework, I do it. Doing your homework is one of those things you can’t go and “Leave It Alone”.

My morality says if you are walking down the street with a joint or can of beer or bottle of hard fruit drink, in your hand you are wrong. I will view you as selfish and inconsiderate. There are others and most importantly the kids to consider.

Something else I’ve said repeatedly is that if you’re discreet, all the world is a bedroom. When you pass others you’re just someone with a vape and you’ll get the nods and the smiles from the people you pass. No reason all the world can’t be personable too.

So why the “Black Mamba” for me, the cost, design, capacity and battery life fit the bill. I’m brand new to vape and wanted to make sure I was pleased with vaping and would stick with a vaping device.

Black Mamba Review

The review says the device is a tad cumbersome, but I disagree. A couple of my friends have held the device and they like me. Love how it feels in your hand. It’s kind of like holding a remote.

BM Vap 01

You are not taking in burning plant material. You can if you aren’t a huff and puff output nothing. No big vape clouds that absolutely no one likes to walk through.

BM Vap 02

You wouldn’t know what I was intaking or outputting if I was standing beside you. That works just fine for me. I take the device for an evening walk and being an old person, the odd red light that I meet, I don’t mind one bit. People standing beside me waiting for the light to change, they don’t know, and I don’t intake, just in case a little gets out.

I prefer the new way to the old burn it up way.

I am completely satisfied with my purchase.

My purchase, the vaporizer I now have is my 2nd one was because the 1st one had a mechanical problem.

I bought mine from “Highgarden Store”. The vendor was fantastic before and after the defective device. When purchasing I went the extra and took expedited shipping. The order confirmation looked like the package would come regular shipping. I contacted Highgarden and they expedited.

When the vaporiser malfunctioned, I contacted “Highgarden” the matter was resolved fast. I’m impressed with this vendor.

Once again when there was a problem, there was no problem.

I have found to my delight with judicious use of this aroma therapy device I can reduce the prescribed pharmaceuticals. Of the 2 I take, the non-controlled substance, Gabapentin, it’s nasty for me.

 I’ve also been introduced to well done edibles. Real food not just candies and dessert.

They’re helping some with appetite. I still don’t have much of one. The weight takes another small drop but, on the upside, I finally made that 168 pound weight I was trying to make when I was 16. I’m just a shadow of myself.

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 I talk about all these things with my Doctors. Working with them is what keeps the machine that is me turning over as best it can.

Some as they age grow rounder while others get slimmer. I’m good, so how the weight goes in the moment is no problem.

Here I go adding on again which is also no problem. When I do a piece and especially so with a narrative, I put in my vault for delivery the next day. It gives me time to ensure I’m satisfied with what I’ve written before going public.

Last evening after this piece had been put in the vault I was heading home with my delivery mechanism in hand. I cross the street and stop to wait for the light to change. I see a woman coming across the street with her small dog in her arms. Yes folks I do prefer the models that can walk but hey, to each their own.

She sees I’ve got a crooked smile grin on and I’m amused. She can see I’m not noticing judgementally. She smiles back and laughs a little bit in the what are you gonna do way. Get across before the light changes so you pick up the dog.

It was a funny personable moment in my community and we both appreciated it and yes I’m laughing a little thinking about it.

Folks, if I have a joint in my hand that little personable moment in the big city doesn’t happen. If I have a beer or joint in my hand, instead of being disarmed and comfortable, the woman with the dog is going to be on guard and that amused smile is probably going to be perceived as a sarcastic smile.

Changes are coming by legislation and people must adapt to the change. No one says you have to like it but you do have to respect it.

I was talking with one of my community friendlies this morning and we yacked about a number of things in the community and in current events.

How we got to me showing and telling about my device is irrelevant or I’m just not going to tell you how we got there. Trust that when I tell you there is nothing in our conversation that would make you titter or tilt.

My community friendly noted I’m pretty liberal. I did tell the person “yes, I am” and I have more liberality in my little finger than all of the Liberal Parties in Canada.

We agree on discretion and consideration and freedom of rights and choices.

We got no problem.

G.R. Hambley ©
August 16, 2018

 

 

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ADDENDUM: Leave It Alone

I got a comment by email off my “Leave It Alone” piece and I’ll get to that at the end.

It doesn’t look like much does it.

Leave it add on 02

In the spring it was a stump. It was a stump for months and I wondered why the city didn’t do something with the remains. Maybe etch a chess and checker board in to the stump for community use.

About a month ago I noticed the growth. You can see the cut line. The stump found a way to life after having been left alone.

Leave it add on 03You can see the stump when it was a dead tree in this photograph that I used in my “7 Day B&W Challenge“.

………

Leave it add on 01

Here is the comment I received by email.

Name: BOG
Email: removed by me G.R. cuz I’m that kind of guy.
Website:
Comment: Leave it alone or just too lazy to go out and get a haircut

I wondered what “BOG” stood for and came up with a couple things that acronym could be. How about, “Bald Old Guy” or maybe, “Bitter Old Girl”.

I have stated before I am an equalist and as such, an equal opportunity offender.

It clicked in what “BOG” is and what BOG is and that is a Conservative of the Alt Right! This is how the quieter ones show their disapproval. Think of it along the lines of a back handed compliment.

I love that I am not affiliated with any RITE! More importantly maybe, I know when to leave shit alone!

G.R. Hambley ©
August 15, 2018

Leave It Alone

Here in the age of “Instant Gratification”, my hair is the example.

Back in April I was asked by a man of about my age as I was in line to get in to a Blue Jays game, “How do you get hair like that?”.

I said to him, “Just leave it alone, it’ll” grow.

My hair is always clean and so is the rest of me. I’ll grant you that it wasn’t the best looking when the hair wasn’t in a pony tail.

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The hair got left alone to grow. No micro cuts along the way. My hair reached a length where it was getting difficult to brush because my arms weren’t long enough. Past time to get the cut.

Some of my community friendlies have noticed the cut and commented. Said the same to those people, I had to leave it alone until it reached the point I could do with it what I wanted with it.

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This is about change and adapting. Most changes do not take place over night and we all know this.

Change is also about patience. Being patient enough to let the evolution take place.

I saw this on my walk last night. Showing off or pride of accomplishment? Don’t know but the licence plate says accomplishment.

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Start it up, pay attention and leave it alone. What ever “IT” is It’ll grow and it’ll work out according to plan, maybe.

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G.R. Hambley ©
August 12, 2018

 

 

 

 

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!

Machi Fini MINSARC FINI signed.jpgSo, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.

The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.

I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.

We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.

It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.

SZ0075Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different

That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.

Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.

I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company.  I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.

Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.

Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.

Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.

Inspirational Moment HeaderOne of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.

A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.

Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.

I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.

I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.

The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.

Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…

We would all be appreciative!

The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.

The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.

The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!

SZ0078

Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.

Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?

I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace.  That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.

If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.

I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.

I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.

Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.

There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.

I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.

Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.

Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.

I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.

Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.

These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!

This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.

http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/

I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.

With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.

I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.

I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.

That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.

If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.

If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.

I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.

So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.

Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.

G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018

 

 

Changes

Starring in to the shadow of yourself, ’tis somewhat like starring in to the abyss.

Changes

Lyric

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Need a plan that’s been defined

Figured out some things
Left others behind to die
If we’re telling the truth
Knew them both long ago

Rainbows over waterfalls
Heartaches under sunbeams
Smiles pasted on never wear off
Lookin’ for space in between

Somehow someway says the reason
Key inside of me keeps turning
Wound tighter than I’d ever been
Visions aren’t hallucinations

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Now a plan that’s been refined

Theory worked real well
Putting it in to practice
Read all the detour signs
Even heeded the damn things

There aint no battle cry
I’m all out of quiet desperation
Door got closed on the what it is
Wide open to a siren dream

Still a pile of things to do
Goodbyes ‘ill maybe get sent
There’ll be a few to see
Done it all and now I’m free

Those changes on the mind
Didn’t make them blind
Got a plan that’s perfectly mine

G.R. Hambley ©
June 27, 2018

A Shot or Twelve

A Shot or Twelve

I get nerve blocker shots every week. This journey in pain management takes place on June 19th.

I’m never in good humour on a shots day. My “snarkasm” level is high. Snarkasn is a couple steps above sarcasm. I’m agitated. I’ve related this adventure to people and a few wonder how I do this all the time, my response (with a look) is how can I not.

Z Story June 20 004I’m making my way over to the docs OFFICE and it occurred to me that I haven’t shown the other side (East side) of the Market. I’m usually on the west side when I’m there, afternoon sun thing. The west side has two levels, so you can be out of the sun if you care to,

Z Story June 20 007As I get to the office one of the good coffee elves was coming the other way. We chat a bit and I wasn’t pleased that the elf didn’t care to change places with me for an hour. The elf was forgiven later in the day.

On checking in, reception tells me they’re running half an hour late. This adds to the already giant pain in the ass that I already have. If I say I have a “PITA”, it is usually a literal “Pain In The Ass” and not figurative.

I don’t even count how many shots I get at each session anymore. It was 10 or 12 shots. It’ll be the same give or take a couple next week, and the next week…

I do the exit blood pressure check set my next couple appointments and leave.

It’s now past 1:00 pm and with the Market being so close, I know where I’m headed for lunch.

I’ve touted the Market and its Fare before. It was always the savoury. On this day I decided lunch was going to be a dessert. I went critical thinking on this when I saw the selections as I was cutting through to get to the upper west side picnic tables.

Eve’s Temptations and these are just a few!

Having availed my self of one of Eve;s baked goods and a fork I headed for the sunshine.

There are a few late lunchers scattered around and plenty f space to be somewhat solitary. A place to relax and enjoy the peace.

Yes this is the city core. Yes there are city noises that are usual and unobtrusive. The burbs and the boons got there sounds too, I’ve never been a fan of that high tension wire whine.

I pick my spot and make myself comfortable with my “Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble” and Ginger Beer.

After that little slice of delicious I pull out my book and start thinking about poetry.

I truly hope as an artist and teacher cursive writing is never lost. My penmanship isn’t anything to write anyone about and I love it.

Writing, especially by hand, involves a lot of not looking at the page. I do not like strike outs in my handwritten pieces. Each line and how it works with the direction of the piece is considered. When I put the line down that’s how it stays.

I had put my pen down and was looking around. Not really seeing and not really missing anything I’m seeing. The art of paying attention and not if you like.

I see one of my community friendlies coming my way and the individual stops when they get to my table. We wind up in a discussion about relationships and examining things from a different perspective. We talked about the emotionality of the matter. The triggers and drivers of behaviour and what may be trying to be accomplished.

It isn’t always easy to step outside yourself when you’ve been wounded. Sometimes we all need to bounce off another person.

I’m pleased to say that my friend went away in a much better frame of mind than when they arrived.

Me, I went back and added the 4th line to what I’m working on before toddling off.

The poetry started in the sunshine and it shall finish in the sunshine.

G.R. Hambley ©
June 25, 2018

Orwellian Studies No. 1

Orwellian Studies No. 1

This morning as I’m going in to my coffee spot I encountered signs, two of them to be precise. Those two sStudies Orwell Fini 01signs were an easy jump in to something else I’m working on.

In the moment and I’ve been saying it for a couple decades, Orwell missed by 50 years. Part of my reasoning that Orwell missed by 50 years you can see in my “Jacked In” piece.

It only took Microsoft a shade over 20 years to learn they erred, grievously.

The first one, a sign for the good service elves who take good care of the patrons. All of the patrons and not just the regulars they come to know.

When I first saw the sign I thought to myself , hey their concerns have reached across the 49th parallel. I understand this is more in their dealings with each other than with the customers.

Starbucks SensitivityThere are only 2 places you meet people and 2 places only. At work and in your activities. That’s it.

Sexual Harassment without question is a problem and it is wrong. Telling people whom they can and can’t express an interest is also without question blatantly wrong. I feel for people who have encountered someone and harbour a genuine interest

The way I see it, if you have a genuine interest you have two options and two options only. You can move and persue a relationship or you can suppress.

The other sign was the tour bus of Ontario’s PC Leader. Not the first time I’ve seen that bus. I haven’t seen the Leaders of the sitting Liberals or of the NDP at all.

 

Again a government has displayed it’s totalitarian disdain for the people and the people have been cast in to having to vote strategically to remove the blight. Having to vote strategically because of what these fools have brought upon themselves.

All of the parties want the acquiescence of the people. They are all the same.

The best person for my riding may be the Liberal. Sorry Charlie, no vote for you!

This is how I see it going tomorrow.

The PC’s will be given a mandate by the voters. Whether it will be a majority or minority I’m just not certain. If I have to pick one, I say majority.

Ford Bus June 06

The Ontario election is tomorrow and I encourage everyone to get out and be relevant. Go vote.

G.R. Hambley ©
June 06, 2019

All images are my own.

 

Yah Think!?

There are changes taking place so that PC speech will recognize all facets of speech and not just what the hyper-sensitive ilk insist on hearing.

Yes, sometimes the hardest part is coming up with a title!

Yah Think!?

Supposedly well trained liberal minds recognize pain’s exhortations
Accounting of no accountability sails majestically in to the sea of pique
Recounting the voyage of the “I did damned well”, without humility
Coarse course corrections have been evaluated and plotted
Another not quite so fine production performance of the Bard’s work
Sherlock’s awareness solicits a defecation notification
Modicum of decorum, no; tempered yes, with fire, as required

 

Min Sacasm Slice 01

G.R. Hambley May 25, 2018 ©

Chronological List

A Few Points to Leeward

A Few Points to Leeward

Present tense, with willful consideration, a different state of usual
Remembering as reinforcement instead of making denial
Elixirs of pharmacology, self preservation tames self reservation
Every assist carries it’s own special enlightening twist
More is less but less is also more and the desirous state of being

Pragmatists, by all accounts, should partake of that they teach
Take that step or two outside the self and look well around
Instances repetitive, if you can call almost daily repetitive
Voyaging this damned derelict, course adjustment laid in
Escape by degrees, found in the enacting of the enlightenment

G.R. Hambley ©
May 12, 2018

Stirrings

Stirrings

Evolving and adapting ‘tisn’t so for every such thing
Maturation hasn’t taken what is desirously alive
Byways in sunset years, a life long constant smoulders
Eagerly and ambivalently skipping stones in this new old age
Relations and passing ships should they dock or not
Solely isn’t lonely, without young angst, this heart still seeks

G.R. Hambley ©
May 01, 2018

Chronological List