transitionu

Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Category Archives: Humour

Carlin Influence? More than I knew!

Doesn’t matter what the endeavour is, we all have influences that are part of our developed style. This presumes you have a style and if you don’t, maybe someday, if you work at it, often, you’ll have a style too.

There are two parts to language and they are “Cognitive Academic” and “Basic Interpersonal”. If you prefer, the two parts are what you write and what you talk.

As directed in the “Teach English as a Foreign Language (TEFL)” course, I was reading a paper where I hit a line and a bit from “Carlin on Language” immediately appeared vociferously at full volume in my brain.

This is how it went when I told “Good Friend” about the incident.

They hurt my head. I was reading and then OW! Fortunately for me, George Carlin went off in my brain and then it was okay.

Front-loading EL
Purpose Ensure access to content instruction taught in English by “preteaching” for upcoming language demands

Content Determined by language purposes. Teaches sentence structures and vocabulary needed to engage in content skills or concepts

Preteach. no such thing! It’s teaching. Carlin, “Preboarding”, it’s not “Preboarding” and is “Boarding”. Mutter mutter mutter!

I swear some of this shit jargon is designed to make you go, “What the hell is this bullshit”.

I’m a big fan of George Carlin and have been for a long, long time. That I vehemently disagree with his take on Golf Courses and Voting,

Carlin Meme 004

it doesn’t change that the man was brilliant and I love his stuff. I even got to see him perform once, yeah, it was great and I smiggle just thinking about it. “Smiggle” is my own word and It is derived from a combined smirk and giggle.

I had Carlin’s AM FM Album when I was a teenager. It was when I was a mid twenties adult that I saw George.

I’m not completely on board with what Carlin blames as the creator of PC Language. I have some clearly defined ideas of my own on whom to blame for the PC Language. I do agree with the Madison Avenue reference George uses.

Influence without realization to a degree. The two types of language, blending the “Cognitive Academic” with the “Basic interpersonal” in his delivery. It hit me as I was doing course work just how much more brilliant Carlin was then I ever realized.

Carlin Meme 002

Carlin blended those two aspects of the language so well where I only do it well. I checked in with “Good Friend” on this matter of blending the academic information with interpersonal delivery. “Good Friend” said yes, I do that blending well.

Our mediums are different but not. Do you not think Carlin wrote everything down and worked out the pieces before delivering them to an audience? Of course he did, simple stuff.

I do the same as I write to be read by you good people. Could I do a stand-up thing, yeah I could but it would be something I developed that isn’t comedy as such and I will not be a Carlin clone. There was only one, he’s it!

Blending language and I have a couple papers to write. I have leeway on topic. Just perhaps I should give the powers that be insight in to that blending of the “Cognitive Academic” and the “Basic Interpersonal” when there is a Construction Oops.

The topic, I hear there’s a crane in Toronto they can’t get down. I know exactly how the language in that conversation is going to go!

Down to it for me but we’ll let George have the last word.

Carlin Meme 003

G.R. Hambley ©
October 03, 2017

 

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Toggle It

Toggle It!

I was outside one of my coffee spots. Yes I know, so far not a surprise or funny.

A store a couple of doors down is being remodelled. Two Sprinkler guys are on that site. Now so you know, Sprinkler Guys are Plumbers Lite.

So you’re aware of the degree of mental acuity, plumbers only know 3 things. Breaks are at 10 & 2, payday is on Thursday and Shhhh…. runs downhill. So how much can sprinkler guys know is a valid question except it aint question.

One sprinkler guy is trying to get a short length of 1″ ID pipe out of the van. There is flooring in the van and the pipe is stored under the flooring in different sizes. The flooring has compartments that are long enough to hold full lengths of pipe.

He’s tries one length of threaded rod to fish the pipe out. No Luck. Think trying to pull cotton or a pill out of a bottle with one finger and it keeps getting away. A friction fit. Next, the guy goes the same route but with three lengths of threaded rod. He eventually gets the about 2′ piece of pipe out of the van.

Guy puts a couple things away and says to me as he’s heading to the store, “How we doing”. Now he could see I was amused with his little adventure.

I said to him, “I’d of done that differently”.

He says, “What, drive backwards real fast then hit the brakes!

And I said, “I would of put a toggle bolt on the end of the threaded rod”.

Guy thinks about it for a couple seconds and says, “That’s a good idea”.

My way might not have worked but it sure beats mucking up the threads on the rod(s).

This also illustrates a point I like to make, when you encounter someone, you never know what they have in their repertoire. That person you encounter might just be a smart ass. Or just maybe that person is a smart ass who knows stuff.

I had said nothing to the Sprinkler Guy. Wasn’t pointing and laughing either. When you ask someone a question, if you don’t like the answer given that is your problem and not the problem of the person responding. I cover that in “The Rules of Life”.

We also see the Sprinkler Guy’s character in this. When it didn’t go like he thought it was gonna go, he was gracious and thoughtful. Those are a couple qualities I really like.

I didn’t enlighten him that I am a Tin Smith, Commercial / Industrial Air System primarily. I don’t do it anymore and you know what, I haven’t gotten forgetful or stupid.

A toggle bolt, also known as a butterfly anchor, is a fastener for hanging things on hollow walls such as drywall. Toggle bolts have wings that open inside a hollow wall, bracing against it to hold the fastener securely.

G.R.Hambley
April 13, 2017

A Cheshire, Feline Variety

A Cheshire, Feline Variety

This fine fellow appeared out of thin air one night. No idea where he came from. He’s been a fine addition to our little menagerie.
If you know who he kept company with before finding his way to us please let them and us know so they’ll know he is safe and happy.
A bit of a prankster this one. This one, like a certain Ursine, will disappear after setting up and loose the objects of his glee. Like that certain Ursine, he doesn’t need to be there to see the scenes play out because he’s already seen how it is going to all go down.

A Cheshire, Feline Variety

How and why you became such a thing is of no mind
Over here, grinning, over there, grinning, always grinning
Really little friend, just what is that you are up to next?

Horace The Cheshire

Appearances can be deceiving, are you truly as you seem?
Cat o’ smiles, nine lives filled with so many incredible tales
Ear to ear you’re such a dear, especially when you smiggle*

G.R. Hambley ©
March 22, 2015

Smiggle … a smirking giggle

Water Pony

Water Pony

Jousting playfully for positioning with your companions new
Electric eel the game of choice, precocious you are when instigating
Reaching the majesty of six foot forty-two, when uncurling that tail
Oh how you snort and that look in your eyes when we let it snap back
Much to our chagrin, finding you’re charged in when hopping on
Energetic, eclectic with more than just a touch or two of the eccentric

G.R. Hambley ©
January 27, 2016

Unibutterkitty

We don’t know where he came from
We have tried without success to discover.
He has become a beloved part of our menagerie.

Unibutterkitty

BartholoMEW

Bright eyed one, we adore that impish twinkle
Acting up, acting out, we know what you’re about
Running wild, giving a wink and taking to flight
Trailing your rainbow glitter while looping the loop
Heading on in for that special one point landing

Oh we tease and admire those things that are distinctly you

Laughter in innocent eyes, mirth in that wide smile
One with us you are small one, a family of your own
Made to order one of a kind creatures unique like you
Each of us to our own and like family, each for us all
Where ever you may journey, home will always be here

G.R. Hambley ©
January 13, 2016

 

The Bunny

The Bunny

Hello old friend, it is so very good to not see you again
And thank you, and yes O’ furry one I did miss you too
Really and truly I did, doesn’t flow the same without you
Varied places you say, some enjoyable provocative sorts I trust
Each had a charm did they, not quite enough to keep up eh
Yes my friend the same for me, no, none of them enough of you

G.R. Hambley ©
January 12, 2016

Cattitude Christmas 2015

Cattitude Christmas 2015

Featuring Sammy

I’d like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and prosperous New Year.

Just so y’all know I am nonreligious and love the spirituality of the season.

From me Gary to all of you, all the best!

Cattitude Christmas 2015

G.R. Hambley all rights reserved

Random Access Musing Oct 03/15

Random Access Musing Oct 03/15

Being Saturday it is the day I enjoy just taking off on any thought tangent I like. You’ve been told!

Diary? Sure why not. Just one though! Being a guy I’m more open to journal than diary. There was that whole incendiary thing and as we know you can’t have incendiary without diary but that’s a whole other story!

I been readin’ and writin’ and switherin’ and slappin’ and generally just being me. It is what I do and I do it so very well. Can you believe there are people who just put their head in their hands to hide their smirk over some of the things I say? I’m going to need to define a term for this behavioural positioning. Probably gonna have to make up a word for it too. Don’t worry about me I’ll manage. It isn’t like I haven’t made up viable words before.

Let’s just see how this resonates. I thought I’d made up a word but I hadn’t and I sent this up before I knew the word I’d made up I didn’t make it up but Urban Dictionary likes what I said so they published the word I thought I’d made up that I didn’t make up.

Speaking of words, found myself in line with my Doctor at coffee spot. We had spoken previously when I was in seeing him at his office and I pointed him at my blog. Doc told me he went and read me. Doc also said something to me about me and my stuff no one had ever said before and I love it. The word he used is, “prolific”. Yeah I love that a lot!

Today got off to a good start and not. Coffee spot’s Elf In Charge was late. Spot did not open on time and had to go to other spot. Had a chat with the elf who couldn’t get in to spot and perform elf duties. It has turned colder here so me and elf headed to alternative spot together.

We talked about how I speak of the staff as elves. Minions became part of the conversation and yes I like the different memes from time to time. Even found one I can relate to perfectly. Any how, elf asked me why elves and not minions. I told the elf it is because elves is majik folk. Elves is helpers for Santa. And it got cold here quick and I’m thinking the jolly ol’ elf might actually be on the way early.

Minions is word I know well and don’t often use because to my mind a minion is a subservient. My thesaurus and I just looked. one description for the word minion and it is, “a servile or fawning dependant”.

As an illustration I’ll use something I’ve observed at one of my coffee spots. Tall leggy creature with minions in tow visit coffee spot regularly. Her 3 and sometimes 4 male minions that look more like ladies in waiting but hey maybe it’s just me seeing it that way. Nah anyone paying attention sees it but me, well I’ll say so. The girls came in one day without the princess and looked kind of lost. I’m hoping the princess was out buying a new Little Black Dress, cuz the one she’s got looks good until you notice it’s got a pouch like a hoodie. Oh trust me when I tell you it is just NASTY!

To those people head down and smirkin’ I say thank you and you are welcome!

earth two things

I’m glad I fractured myself. The fracture would be the second blog I started up, SPASM. At the time of this writing the last 2 pieces I’ve posted, one for each blog. Both pieces could have gone on one or the other with a different style. WTF LinkedIn and Man O’ Man are the two pieces.

Believe it or not the desire I felt to take a strip off of each party was equal but for different reasons. My disdain was much greater in the more eloquent piece here on the transitionu side.

I went back on to LinkedIn and discovered that the comment I commented on disappeared. I don’t know the workings of the site well enough to say but it appears the individual who made the comment I railed against took their comment off after reading what I had to say. What I said in comment doesn’t show in my activities so I really do think I have the disappearing comment mystery correct.

The photograph of the person who made that comment was part of their profile and the skill set I have allows me to put looks of shock and horror on that face. What the individual said is gone and they got an awakening, That works for me. There were and are other comments that vilified the writer and the piece written. Those words are still there and that works for me too.

Had some exchanges with a good friend on the Dark Continent regarding the killing of Cecil Lion. Talking about what is going on with the Zimbabwe courts and hunter Theo Bronkhorst. Seems this big bad hunter wants the courts to dismiss the charges. Well no kidding huh. The courts will decide by October 15th, this year whether or not to dismiss. My good friend is of the opinion this Bronkhorst guy is a total asshole. I agree. Just so you know, Bronkhorst was arrested for allegedly smuggling rare animals in to South Africa. Yeah this guy is a real sweetheart.

People are sharing my table, young girl of 8 with grandma and conversation briefly goes to age of another kid. Grandma says what 4 years older and young girls say no, 3 ½ . Oh the age when 6 months makes a vast difference. You can have that age. Would I take 20 years younger? Maybe.

I’ll wrap this up with the kids. My friend in South Africa and their sibling know we gotta get the kids because the three of us had that conversation. Real time live the three of us had that conversation. It came out of the wondering why twenty years after the fall of Apartheid things hadn’t changed much.

Someone I know in Alabama knows it too that we gotta get the kids. There is someone I know in the Philippines that also knows we gotta get the kids. This aint new or news folks. Simple stuff that so many of us know. For the world to be a better place we gotta get the kids.

Why aren’t we getting the kids?

The 60’s are long gone but there are many of us who can pass on the feeling of the protest movement. We can share it and shape it with the kids and they can apply it to the problems of today for the betterment of the future.

G.R. Hambley ©
October 03, 2015

Introducing SPASM

Introducing SPASM

I started a second blog on the weekend.SPASM and that stands for, “Some Poignancy And Smartass Musings”.

The first real piece on SPASM is about learning to walk and I hope you like and will pass it around as it is one of my pet peeves!

There are self imposed constraints here on “transitionu” and that is as it should be. I bring my art and my work to this place. I bring much of myself as well. I bring some of my smart ass ways here mixed in with life lessons and coping skills.

I bounced the idea of the new site and the separation of church and state so to speak off a good friend and friend agreed I need a place to be freer and what I do with that facet of myself doesn’t belong here on the poetry and Life Coaching blog.

The poetry at times are extensions of life lessons and coping skills in an artistic format. A recent poem that is life lesson as well as being a sonnet is, “False Witness” and is about an action and a reaction.

I hope you’ll enjoy a more acerbic space as much as you enjoy the artsy and thoughtful.

My best regards to all.

G.R. Hambley
August 24, 2015

Pan American Games 2015, a few observations

Observations July 2015

(July 27, 2015)

Pan American Games 2015, a few observations.

I haven’t done the observational thing for a while. Feels like it is about time I did so again. Strange doing it on a Monday as I usually reserve my random rambling and musing for weekends.

The Games finished up their two week run here yesterday. From where I sit and live there was much ado about nothing as far as the logistics were concerned. Mind you the extent of my activity as far as the games were concerned was girl noticing. Firstly, someone has to do it and I’m good at it. I said noticing not ogling. Kindly remove your minds from the gutter among other places. Secondly I didn’t see more than a couple male athletes in total.

Let’s get something really creepy and flat out disgusting out of the way first. This is for you the keepers of Toronto The Good. One of my coffee spots is on Front St near St. Lawrence Market. On the day of both the opening and closing ceremonies that part of Front St. was a travel path for busses carrying games participants. On both days the parking cops went along the street mid afternoon posting signs for no parking. At the time of day the no parking was posted there were already vehicles parked. On both days I saw vehicles towed away.

This is the creepy and flat out disgusting part. Neither the day of or the day prior to the parking being taken away did I see postings notifying the public that the parking space would be unavailable. I did see a couple vehicles towed each day and wonder how justifiably irate the owners of those vehicles were. Oh yeah, there were parking cops on the route after the no parking signs and the meters were bagged to stop people from parking. This is just the stuff I saw so maybe there was a memo sent out to the world by osmosis. I didn’t get the memo either.

Our Canuck Girls Softball team. Yes our girls as I said to an artist buddy of mine. Not in the first person personal as I had to explain to him but hey lonely artists think differently. Those of you that are not creatives may freely substitute, “weirdly” for “differently”. In fact we’d appreciate it if you do substitute. Weird gets you left the hell alone, different not so much! We’d also appreciate it if the non-creatives sense of humour was somewhat expanded. Work on it.

I was running errands one afternoon and saw a couple of our girls in the same store I was. One of them had a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her leg closer to the hamstring than the calf. We hit the cash at the same time. I turned to out bruised warrior with a smile and said, “I just have to ask, Softball?”. The young lady said such was true. I told her enthusiastically, “how to take one for the team!”. She smiled and told me, “THANKS!”. Hockey, Lacrosse, Softball, Male, Female, we Canucks are all the same, we can take it and laugh it off.

Canada’s entire Team was in coffee spot a couple of times. It was girls being girls as well as exemplary ambassadors and young ladies.

The Softball Girls from the U.S. of A. Were also in the vicinity. A couple would visit alternative coffee spot in the mornings. Friendly and outgoing with the staff. Not quite so gregarious around the other people enjoying the coffee spot. The American girls would light up charmingly if you smiled first.

I did see a young woman sporting a USA Field hockey t-shirt this morning. She had a bit of a hitch in her giddy up. Here is hoping it isn’t too serious and that hitched giddy up came against our Canadian Girls in the Semi Final which America won. Field, ice, pavement, if it has hockey in the name of the game, y’all have been warned, repeatedly!

I did see a group of four from Mexico come in to the Front St. Coffee Spot the evening before the games officially began. Before I could tell them where to go, they were gone. They appeared to be looking for something to eat for dinner and I know a couple great spots in Kensington Market to get great Mexican. One where the Green Sauce is reported as better than SOCAL! In fact I was told of that establishment, the taco chips are simply a delivery mechanism for the Green Sauce!

All said and done, for those of us that live in the core of this great city, except for those two parking incidents I noted, getting around wasn’t bad at all!

Almost forgot, Women’s Softball Final, it was Canada 4 and the U.S.A. 2. That’ll teach you to mess with Canada in anything hockey related!

G.R. Hambley – all rights reserved