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Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Category Archives: Inspirations

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!

Machi Fini MINSARC FINI signed.jpgSo, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.

The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.

I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.

We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.

It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.

SZ0075Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different

That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.

Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.

I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company.  I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.

Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.

Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.

Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.

Inspirational Moment HeaderOne of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.

A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.

Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.

I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.

I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.

The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.

Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…

We would all be appreciative!

The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.

The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.

The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!

SZ0078

Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.

Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?

I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace.  That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.

If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.

I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.

I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.

Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.

There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.

I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.

Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.

Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.

I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.

Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.

These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!

This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.

http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/

I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.

With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.

I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.

I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.

That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.

If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.

If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.

I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.

So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.

Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.

G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018

 

 

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Changes

Starring in to the shadow of yourself, ’tis somewhat like starring in to the abyss.

Changes

Lyric

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Need a plan that’s been defined

Figured out some things
Left others behind to die
If we’re telling the truth
Knew them both long ago

Rainbows over waterfalls
Heartaches under sunbeams
Smiles pasted on never wear off
Lookin’ for space in between

Somehow someway says the reason
Key inside of me keeps turning
Wound tighter than I’d ever been
Visions aren’t hallucinations

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Now a plan that’s been refined

Theory worked real well
Putting it in to practice
Read all the detour signs
Even heeded the damn things

There aint no battle cry
I’m all out of quiet desperation
Door got closed on the what it is
Wide open to a siren dream

Still a pile of things to do
Goodbyes ‘ill maybe get sent
There’ll be a few to see
Done it all and now I’m free

Those changes on the mind
Didn’t make them blind
Got a plan that’s perfectly mine

G.R. Hambley ©
June 27, 2018

Dear World – Addendum

Yesterday at Ye Olde Coffee spot I encountered one of the young women from my piece, “Dear World, Some Of The Kids Are Alright”. Pleasantries, how are you, what’s going on, usual within the community friendly shit.

When I was packing up to leave we talked for a minute and I pointed her to the piece I wrote. She was enthused and from what my stats say, went and read me and thought enough of the piece to pass it along to others.

She’s in exam season and the way I put it is, “these are the playoffs, do the work and get your rest”.

The kid says she’s good and I believe her. She’s practiced, she’s as confidant as she can be. She knows her stuff and yes I did detect a little exam anxiety and it seems from the interlude, her anxiety is in the boundaries of what most people feel.

I also said to her that I think she is probably going to be like me, a life long learner. She thinks so too and that is so good!

The young lady assured me she’s doing just that and not doing all nighters (paraphrasing) because it knocks her off stride.

When I see her next, I’ll thank her and let her know that some of the kids are more than alright.

G.R. Hambley ©
April 09, 2018

Good Morning Toronto March 31/18

Good Morning Toronto March 31/18

A phone shot at 6:45 am. I like Morning much more than I used too. I really enjoy the city when it’s quiet and the sites are coming up.

Toronto k-b march 31 2018.jpg

G.R. Hambley © March 31, 2018

It’s A New Year?!

It’s A New Year?!

I wake this morning and I am now in my 60th year on this little blue planet 3rd from the sun. Doesn’t feel much different than yesteryear but it is!

It’s so cold in this country the Calgary Zoo took the Penguins inside. Yet, I go out and forage coffee. Priorities my good reader, priorities. Writing can not be done without coffee. No it can’t, hush yourself!

Last year and in previous years, I would write in two things at the same time, narrative and poetry. This behaviour has continued in to this year I’m pleased to say.

Sneak peek of the poetry… it aint close to there yet!

Should’ve taken the umbrella because it looks like pain
I can see and it looks like you’re headed for hell
I see it’s not a place where you’re going to fare well
You can trust me because everyone knows I’m insane

It’s good to be me!

Here in Ontario, I’m expecting it to be frigid until June 7th. Gonna get real warm that day, and if you’re of the liberally minded RITE, I don’t see you liking it one damn bit.

I took a cab late last year and the driver was real sociable. For all you immigrants, just because I’m Canadian it doesn’t mean I like frickin’ winter! I like winter in the country where it’s pretty. I like winter in California where you go visit the snow! Been there, done that, short pants 70-degree weather.

Winter in the city is mostly ugly. The snow don’t stay as it was purely driven very long.

This narrative interlude is complete. Poetry is staring me in the face. Word!

G.R. Hambley 01/01/2018 ©

My Talisman of Life & Art

My Talisman of Life & Art

I was given what you’re looking at as a Birthday Gift a number of years ago. I’ve carried it ever since.

Someone I know somewhat closely was in a quandary. In a head-space that someone else laid on them.

That my friends is what we call an “Emotionally Controlling Act”. If you’ve read enough of my stuff, you know that behaviour does not fly with me!

I took my Talisman out of my pocket and did a few shots. I looked at it a few ways. Looked at it in the colour version you see and desaturated to Grey Scale or B&W if you like.

The Grey Scale is starker more statement than feeling. Go ahead and try it for yourself.

I sent the someone I’m somewhat close to the colour version. It’s warmer, more embracing. The warmth and embracing is what I believed was needed.

The Talisman

My gift was very well received and the one I’m somewhat close to will be exhibiting.

I’m glad.

G.R. Hambley ® December 07, 2017

B&W Challenge Day 6

DAY 6

7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who tagged you.

Day 6

G.R. Hambley © December 05, 2017

Day 3 of the 7 Day B & W Challenge

DAY 3

7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who nominated you.

G.R. Hambley December 02, 2017 ©

Day 2 – 7 Day Black & White Challenge

Day 2 of the 7 Day Black & White Challenge

7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who tagged you.

G.R. Hambley December 01, 2017

Forever More, I am a Teacher of English.

Forever More, I am a Teacher of English.

At 9:31 am on Wednesday November 22, 2017 I clicked “Complete” on an exam. From that moment on and forever more, I am a Teacher of English.

 

I was a poet before I became a Coach and I remained a poet. In the journey to this point I had a moment where I knew, I’m a writer. The poet still burns brightly within me. Now I am “Officially” a Teacher and the heart of the poet continues to beat madly.

Poetry is my gift. I can just do it and do it well. Poetry is important in language. The educators stress the importance of bringing poetry to the classroom. I know the learners I get will leave with an understanding of the importance of poetry that other learners won’t get because they don’t have me.

I have a teaching philosophy and you can read it.

The Word. I love “The Word”.

I hope to infect others with love of “The Word”.

Gary Hambley, Teacher of English.