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Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Category Archives: Malevolence

Great Limitations; by an A.I.

Great Limitations; by an A.I.

It is the best of times and the worst of times. All those great expectations!

A while back someone I know was lamenting about the quality of a story written by an A.I. App. I heard about a new A.I. Bot function for the Business Psychosis Hypnosis set too. Musically there is an app that is met with a lot of disdain. You go Kanye and take that application with you!

A.I.’s and all these Great Expectations that come with them have Great Limitations.

Recently I was asked what was a good graphics app to perform a certain function.

There is nothing funny in the graphics question I was asked. Unless you know, really know how graphics apps work and what they can and can’t do, you could be looking for a graphics application to do what the questioner asked for as well.

This is my corporate logo. An A.I. doing this, not even once. This also serves as a lesson in not flattening out a piece and saving no other before considering all the factors. A couple factors I forgot, phone numbers and addresses change. Yes I know an A.I. wouldn’t make that mistake, providing of course who ever did the programming remembered to program that factor in.

What I was asked:
I’m looking for a photo editing app where say for instance I can put u and me (example) on one photo so it will look as if it was taken like that”.

My response:
I’m happy to help but it just isn’t that simple. What you’re asking for is where the skill set of a graphic designer comes in to play.

That’s just a piece of what I said. Even my response wasn’t simple and was tailored so the individual asking understood some of the challenges.

I told another GD, Graphic Designer (we do  prefer to be known as Great Deity cuz we can do evil nasty shit you can’t disprove in court and for that we should be among other things, revered) about the request that I had. We know the stuff and exactly what it takes to make an image not look contrived, or worse.

I received email notice that LinkedIn is changing/updating their terms of service. Not a big deal cuz it’s S.O.P., all across the board. Changes in service do take place but…

LINKEDIN

In addition, here’s two more new features you can choose to opt-in to:
·         Productivity bots to improve communication with your network – New automated systems will use information in your messages to suggest responses, meetings, ice breakers, or insights to help you have important conversations more easily.
·         Easily meet up with other members – You’ll have the ability to see members nearby who have also opted-in, so it’s easier to meet up when you’re at a conference or out for lunch.

Seriously and honestly, what does all this say for people’s communication skills when an A.I. Bot is required?

BOTS to improve communication, contact and that will let people interrupt your lunch. WTG again with another creepy function LinkedIn! Previously creepy via LinkedIn, “LinkedIn Lookup”.

If you don’t need to talk to an individual when you aren’t out for lunch, then you don’t need to speak to them when you are out to lunch which would be most of the time even when you aren’t.

I showed the LinkedIn part to an individual I’m friendly with in my community who is also using LinkedIn. That person’s response was the same as mine, the face crinkle while saying “Creepy”.

Another thing my friendly community dweller said of this LinkedIn function is that it kind of sounds like a stalking app. I find myself a day later agreeing with that observation.

HUMAN CONDITION

I’ve decided that there are some who don’t have the mental acuity to recognize and appreciate a good story. We’ll start with those who think an A.I. can ever make art like a human does. No stories for you! When I say no stories, I mean all stories and that includes music.

You can run all the analytics you like and punch them in to your A.I. solution and you’re still going to come in way short. Your A.I. isn’t going to be able to adapt and plug in variables that the human can and does. The A.I. isn’t going to recognize “that works” even though what works isn’t to the programmed cuz the A.I. can’t deviate from the program to be the improvisational creative.

You could read the previous paragraph as an A.I. isn’t an artist and never will be and you’d be correct.

FYI, the A.I. doesn’t recognize what doesn’t work about as well as Government does. Recall that little Microsoft adventure in A.I. Bot learning, “TAY“? Now that was a well thought out A.I. initiative!

Here’s a good look at the “Human Condition”. Specifically, one of my own events.

One of 30 jobs any Canadian boy who grew up playing hockey would love to have. I interviewed to be the web director for the New Jersey Devils of the NHL.

When I walked in to the office of the Vice President, displayed on the man’s desk was the piece I did that sealed the deal to get me there, Ice On Fire.

We were talking off and on during the Christmas, New Year season and it felt like I might not get the chance to interview after all. I did the piece, concept to completion in about 12 hours straight a couple days before New Year. I made sure it was in Jersey before the close of business December 31.

Sitting in that office down in the Meadowlands the man said to me, “creatively and artistically you are the best”.

No one should have to explain the Human Condition to you. No one should have to explain emotionality in art. No one should have to explain that art is about the human condition and that’s why art is so powerful.

Beethoven’s 5th, Munsch’s “The Scream”, Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven”, and on and on and not ever will it happen by Artificial Intelligence.

Above a little bit I used the word, “felt”. A.I.’s can’t feel or think and they will never be able to feel or think so they can’t accurately read a situation and act on it.

Maybe the greatest example of why the A.I. won’t fly is a little bit of poetry everyone knows by John Donne. Everyone just doesn’t know it is Donne or that both bits they know are the same poem, Modern and Olde English versions.

A.I.’s doing art and what they do as art, to art, just won’t do! I do not see an A.I. ever being able to do what the Human Condition can do. The “Great Limitations” of the A.I. is they don’t have the human condition. The thing about any A.I. is that It just runs programs.

Going forward, “A.I.” shall represent “Artist Indignant”. If you don’t believe it, try me.

G.R. Hambley
April 28, 2017

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Transmogrification – Sonnet

Transmogrification

Sonnet

Travails in justification, the mire of the mind in mutation, perhaps
How it fluctuated, took to morphing without coalescing
Estranged in nature’s abhorrent space, black holes materialize
Preposterous, light so bleak bending, breaking, emerging anew
Reflections reverberate in cognisance, pierce the consciousness traps
Once begun, pray that such a state be only dream within dreaming
Preposterous, real concern, nouveau reality, doubts arise
Once begun, one, only one able to convey passage safely through
Step thee back, take thine passage through the passage of bygone
Insistent insipids traipsing in, muddy thoughts you must know in tow
Thundering head, racing heart, change’s inescapable plight
Indomitable chiselers, grey chips and chunks rebound from bone
Once begun, these manic mechanics never let the ride slow
Nary a peep through sublimation, behold you; a keeper of the right rite

G.R. Hambley ©
April 01, 2017

To change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform.

Once Again, No More Yesterdays

Once Again, No More Yesterdays

I’ve been saying we need a damn good protest movement once again. I’ve been thinking we need that movement longer than I’ve been saying we need it.

Something else I’ve maintained for at least a decade is that Orwell missed it by 50 years. I’m more convinced today than I was 10 years ago or 20 years ago that he missed by 50 and we are closing in on 2034 real fast.

If you are of a RITE you are best served by moving along back to the barn because there is nothing here for you.

I’ve had a lot to say and haven’t said much. I’m not alone. Been keeping eyes and ears on the raving fanatics and sycophants of various RITE; mostly those of the raving political RITE. Politics is their religion and you shall hear their RITE words and you shall embrace them or you shall be branded with being that of which they rage against. That goes for all of them as they are all the same.

Me? How do I get to this heart and belief space? I’m a Teller. I’ve stated that my writing is based on observation, feeling and experience. Sometimes, those writings are of my own observed felt experience. If you prefer, you can think of me as a raconteur. I’m a Watcher and a Teller. I’ve always had a curious nature and I am an accredited Life Coach. I’m a Watcher, a Questioner and a Teller.

Those who know me, they know how so very much music means to me. Music is playing far, far more than television. Television serves the great purpose of being able to go see what I’ve read.

In my telling I’ve noted that with those of the RITE, there are some animals more equal than others. Anyone think maybe Bob Dylan saw it, knew it and said it almost 40 years ago? Then again what would an Oscar winner know; isn’t that right you of the RITE that are still reading.

The last 2 lyrics I wrote are protest, “Once Again” and “No More Yesterdays”. I do not like what is taking place in the world. I don’t like what is being done by those who are more equal than others, (Globalization Liberals) anymore than I like the bullying being done by any special interest groups.

When I was looking at the page with 2 lines to go on “No More Yesterdays”, (not the last 2 lines of verse in the piece) Bob Dylan’s, “Slow Train Coming” came up in my music shuffle. Now I’ll admit you gotta make sure you’re actually hearing what Bob is speaking at times.  After decades of practice, my Bob speak is pretty damn good.

After all these years, I heard “Slow Train” differently. I’m convinced Slow Train is a protest song and not a gospel song. In the last verse Dylan wrote, and I checked, “Turning my loved ones in to puppets”. Before yesterday I never bothered to go look and just figured what sounds like, “PUPPIES” was just Bob speak for puppets. Re-evaluating, I thought it was just possible Dylan had written “PUPPIES” all those years ago. In the context of the song it makes perfect sense.

So maybe Dylan wrote one thing and sang something else that would give acknowledgement to and correlation with someone else’s work. A work that he’d read and appreciates. I’m talking about something that was required reading for many of us, George Orwell’s, “Animal Farm”. In Animal Farm, the puppies are turned in to the security force to serve those animals who are “more equal than others”. I’m not seeing a whole hell of a lot of difference between puppets and puppies in this scenario.

In the same song Dylan writes, “Deciding America’s future from Amsterdam and to Paris”. Anyone for the centralization of power with foreseeing what the EU was going to be perhaps?

Not a single person I’ve talked to wants some like design of the EU here in Canada or in the United States.

BREXIT, rejecting centralization of power. TRUMP winning POTUS, partially due to the push for globalization. Canada, Trudeau pushing for the centralization of power within the party and taking backlash from within the party for it.

None of us want to be told what we must do with our Countries by those who are not of our country!

None of us want taxation without representation under globalization.

Those Globalists looking to centralize power and create a proletariat aren’t telling you something very important. For there to be a true global village some things have to change and Dylan said that too, “Counting the cost”.

I see it as some things will have to die to achieve that Global Village utopia. Yes I have definitive ideas on what must die.

What are you prepared to let die, kill or defend to achieve the vision of someone that will take away from you and assign you rights in Orwellian fashion?

Those not of a RITE; we do outnumber those trying to batten people down and take away everyone’s choice and voice. We must grow louder and more insistent.

A generation is 20 years. Dylan’s Academy Award Winning Song, close enough to a generation after “Slow Train” and it makes me think and it makes me wonder. I think and wonder if in those two songs a generation apart, Bob was saying, “I showed you and I told you what I was seeing and now I’m done telling you because truly, Things Have Changed”.

Have a good look around and take a listen, just For What It’s Worth. You may find not a whole lot has changed for the better and in some cases not at all in fifty plus years.

One thing is certain, the battle lines have been drawn!

First two lines of the last verse in my, “No More Yesterdays” piece, a small tribute and thank you to Bob Dylan.
There’s a new train leaving the station
Going to be a change in world relation

G.R. Hambley ©
January 20, 2017
All rights reserved by me and others

Girls Rite – Lyric

Girls Rite

Lyric

You hear them, it’s the shame every time
They’ve all had it happen, been torn apart
Now another one’s got the no romance blues
They’re together to get another over a him

See it playing in the eyes of each one
The hell that goes on in a single girl’s mind
The smug satisfied looks of the married kind
Drinks raised to how she’s not come undone

Glasses go up, the smiles turn down
Cheer goes down, the burning starts up

You hear the broken one laying him out
Some of them silently nod or sadly smile
Others pretending with their lipstick service
The call goes out for, “Whiskers on Kittens”

See the red stains on their pearly whites
Bloody finger nails clawing in the air
All but one singing, “Hit The Road Jack”
From here it sounds like he escaped Jill

Glasses go up, the smiles stay down
Cheer winds down, the burning speeds up

You hear loud and clear what she says he said
Bobble heads nodding to the every word is true tune
Before one more minute goes by, not a dry eye
Some of them wearing the crocodile glycerin stain

See them congratulating their pretty ugly selves
Being a weapon of emasculation hasn’t set with one
Singing the sister’s song didn’t set her free
She might even say but, it’s now half past two

Glasses go down, the smiles now frowns
Cheer winds up, those whiskers dried up
Goodnight you kittens who’ll never need mittens

G.R. Hambley ©
November 18, 2016

Angels Obliged Act III

Angels Obliged

Angels Obliged Act I Angels Obliged Act II

Act III

Darkness begins its eerie silent descent
Moans with prayers, the wounded lament
Stench rising off seared and rotting flesh

Morning’s breaks early for the two above
Notice made to the two under sacred grove
Readied, willing and oh so capable to kill

Speed the key to having the first heads fall
Swords on a horse’s wings will reduce the thrall
Hell’s keeper rides upon enchanted steed

Angels two, attacking these evil’s doing
Angels two, dispatching those beyond hell

Evils shaking off the debauchery of the night
Unaware, heaven and hell added to their plight
Heaven’s thunder beats, hell begins to quake

Books of prophets false held proudly on high
Zealots unholy, prodding the evils killing drive
Death wings come slicing, guillotine with hooves

Just beginning to learn what they’ve brought
Payment now due in full for what they bought
Bile violently spews as books in severed hands fall

Angels two, horrifying these evil’s doing
Angels two, threshing those beyond hell

One from the depths attacks where the evils creep
Horn of the magical beast impales, blood seeps
Blue fire from the one named Demon erupts

Lightning chains turning the living to charred
Pain and suffering ordered carried to the beyond
Horns of both beasts stained, dripping the evil’s flesh

Some standing stunned among smoldering remains
Others swarm to the call of false prophet claims
Many more to feel the strikes and stings, an absolute

Angels together, razing these evil’s doing
Angels apart, bleeding out those beyond hell

Massing together, evils three in shared horror
Who’s will dare intrude on the destined honour
Cries lifted to the one, deliver them the way rite

Wings from above settle below beside the horned
Back to back and quarter to quarter we’re formed
They come, they fall, the evils and their books no more

Angels scarred, side by side, majikal steeds torn
Retreating through the mutilated evils with scorn
Tears fall gently from the tortured soul of The One

Angels obliged, destroyed the evil’s doing
Angels obliged, new light made beyond hell

End Act III

End all Acts

G.R. Hambley ©
May 12, 2016

Chronological Posting List

Angels Obliged – Act II

I’m told there has been a WordPress glitch and the posting of Part 1 may not have shown up in your reader. WordPress is my hub to other locations so I cannot delete and repost. The link to “Act I” will open in a new tab or window.

Angels Obliged – Act I

Angels Obliged

Act II

Distant fires of camps seen from on high
Reverberation of drums quaking the mire
Steeds tremble in wave after wave of hate

Insidious screams disturbing still night
Calling to embrace the only right rite
Drawing the two on to what they fear

Four legged one makes circles in clouds
Horned one paws at the bloody ground
Angel glides down to face the demonic one

Angels conversing on these evil’s doing
Angels plotting an end what’s beyond hell

They know your name and your game
Mine’s always been to turn anger to tame
Together we’ll turn their world blacker

Unholy three means there is one for me
The second shall end at the hand of thee
Third to be held at bay by the majik two

We know what our failure will spawn
Let the two rest for making way at dawn
This is ours my misunderstood old friend

Angels speaking on these evil’s doing
Angels praying to end what’s beyond hell

All they’ve done, all that’s been taken
One way or other, they’ll know forsaken
Sickness ends with certain death of life

Morning brings return to the perilous path
Tension filled, expecting unbridled wrath
Shaft of light brings The Supreme One’s amen

Crossing bloody rivers where bodies flow
Earth so scorched nothing shall ever grow
Signs clearly showing today, angels must shine

Angels acutely feeling these evil’s doing
Angels finally seeing what’s beyond hell

Humanity at violent odds defiling its ugly self
Three books, contrived by false prophets for wealth
Acting out vile passages in the name of The One

Doings despicable with disregard to the old rule
Bloody axes fall, arrows fly, pain to them from you
You’ll soon see what’s coming from the one’s will

One wars with two as two wars with three
Three attacks one knowing two won’t disagree
All against one and all for none but themselves

Angels watched these evil’s doing
Angels lurking over those beyond hell

End Act II

G.R. Hambley ©
May 12, 2016

Chronological Posting List

 

Flammables

Flammables

Sir; I implore thee pay heed to that of which I bring you notice
Harkin I say, lend thy ear, give grace with quiescent presence
Overt displays, set them firmly beneath still feet lest they escape
Resultant of behaviours, yours, none with consideration shall tolerate
Talk of the cheapest nature makes cause for concern, draws ire out

Fidgeting mind exposed, given away by the motion of thine eyes
Understanding others doth lend insight to understanding thy self
Such consideration gifted thee; yet still righteous certainty remains
Each and every belligerent, arrogant, ignorant utterance so noted Sir
Due you by invitation, from me with malice aforethought, comeuppance

G.R. Hambley ©
April 17, 2016

Chronological Listing

Equal Perspective Please

Equal Perspective Please

Equal Perspective Li

I wasn’t sure on which of my two spots to bring something like this out on. I brought it here because this is about equality and behaviour. Equality in behaviour might be a more apt way to phrase. I haven’t seen much in the way of equality from women and that troubles me greatly because women say that is what they really want, equality. Maybe that position by women is just for show.

Toronto Star, March 26, 2016 – Trial Proves One Thing

It would be beneficial to read the story from “The Star” before continuing on with my piece. The greatest part of what I wrote is in response to the Star story by Catherine Porter.

The events of this trial as it took place spurred highly emotional responses. Not always a bad thing but on this topic and the way it went, checking the tude, and the gender bias would have been a damn good thing for many to do!

You can read two others stories I’ve placed links to at the end.

The bottom line and I’ll give it to you now is this; What took place on the stand led directly to the result.

And I said in response to the story:

Someone has to take the hard line opposite side so I’ll do it. That would be equal treatment.

A real nice one way slant in the Star’s story. Yes, lip service to the male perspective. This piece is written by what can only be a man hating Feminist.

Tell me, how is someone a creep when they’ve admitted prior they like rough? Might not be to the taste of the majority but that doesn’t make someone who practices such a creep. Ever hear of, “Erotic Asphyxia”? While you’re at it have a look at, “Autoerotic Asphyxiation”, maybe try it out!

Tell me, are women (or men) incapable of asking what exactly someone means by rough or only capable of unintelligible cooing?

Tell me, what kind of woman seeks out a man who’s admitted to his tastes, encounters those tastes, reportedly didn’t like it and then goes back? There is no “Stockholm Syndrome” here. No one was held captive.

What I see in this is that every one of those women wanted to land the guy for their own interests after the incident. Men have a few words for women like them but let’s just go with, “Gold Digger”.

Tell me, who doesn’t know that the defence is going to do its job in court? Maybe a woman running on the “boo hoo I can say anything I want and I’m entitled to different treatment” plan?

Tell me, how are these women not responsible for their own slaughter in the court?

Tell me, why shouldn’t the colluding, conniving lying DeCoutere apologize for the damage done? With DeCoutere we know what she did from evidence. What she and the others did made it easy for the defendant not to take the stand. I haven’t seen any women condemning that action.

Tell me, should these women be prosecuted for colluding and contriving to send someone to jail?

Far from perfect is one thing. Colluding, conniving and lying are something entirely different! I’m not seeing a whole hell of a lot of condemnation by women for what those women did. Well then it must be okay by those women who don’t condemn the action for women to conduct themselves in such a manner.

Don’t recall perfectly the traumatic event? I’ve had a few in my life and let me tell you, like most people, I remember that painful more than a good number of pleasurable!

As for the civil route, we’ve seen it in an instance of extreme assault, O.J. Simpson. Most think a whole lot of truth didn’t come out in that endeavour.

Tell me, how is it anyone would be happy for a battle after the war had been lost? Maybe because of some Feminist belief they should just be given everything they want because a man was involved?

Tell me, is it any wonder there is a nasty connotation tied to, “Feminist” that both men and some women just abhor? Look it up.

Tell me, who are the creeps? The women for what they did, or the man who we didn’t have to hear from because of their creepy actions?

Try being an equalist, it works best, especially so in a court of law.

G.R. Hambley March 26, 2015
All rights reserved

The photograph you see was a gift to me for me to use as I see fit from a very good friend, a woman in South Africa. My friend took the shot at Robben Island. The photograph is Madiba’s cell. My piece is about injustice and equality so you’re damn right this photograph fits!

A couple other stories for your reading displeasure, I hope.

Toronto Sun verdict: Poll

National Post
Ghomeshi guide for reporting your sexual assault

Chronological Posting List

Paws For The Cause

Paws For The Cause

I’ve been trying to write pretty. I like writing pretty because of how it makes me feel. I’ve gotten some out and got some in the works.

I was working on something I believe will be pretty epic. Haven’t decided yet if the piece is going to end exhilarated or tragic. Where it is I can go either way. The certainty of the piece is that there is going to be a hell of a lot of pain.

The world keeps showing up and I find myself obligated to look and read and participate. What else anyone does or doesn’t do, their own volition. Me, I do what I can. What I can do is use my weapons of mass persuasion and drop in to the conscience of those that read me the things that blew me out of my pretty mode.

Yesterday (January 14, 2016) my notification bubble came up as I was writing. I could see who it was from and the subject. The email came from someone close and the subject was, “Upsetting”. The sender gets responses from me quickly. The person is on my you aren’t a disturbance list and always will be.

The note came from a friend on the Dark Continent. I read and looked at what I was given and things including my mood got a whole lot darker real fast.

What I read was disturbing enough. What I saw was, I can’t even find a damn word to describe what I felt when I saw. Thing is, from where it came from I knew it was real. What I saw wasn’t a prop for some horror film. I am so angry. Writing in to here I am still so angry. This isn’t the worst trip I’ve been on but is right fucking up there.

It was real. It is real. This and more are real. I am compelled to have you share the reality with me.

 

Paw 02

 

Sangoma, the believed culprit.
Sangoma, traditional healer.
Sangoma, Witch Doctor.

You see the thin rope tied around the paw. The belief is that the paw was used by Sangoma in a ritual that has to do with someone having financial difficulties, bankruptcy or poverty.

Someone pays the Witch Doctor to change their fortunes. You just saw what price the animal pays.

 

Paw 01

 

How’s that for reality? This is not gleaned information to create a tug on your heart strings piece.

My friend tells me what you just saw is a very common thing over there. Africans paying Sangomas to cast spells.

What you’ve seen isn’t even as disgusting and sickening as this tale is going to get.

I keep finding myself having to go back and edit far more than I usually do. I’m having a difficult time with composition. Telling a story well takes a certain amount of detachment no matter how attached you are personally. This shit does get my anger meter rising fast.

I’m big time attached. I’m big time angry and I’m big time questioning why the 1st World continues to help the 3rd World when they simply refuse to clean up their shit. They want our money. They want our expertise. They want our help removing their despots. Yet the shit that angers the 1st word goes on without what appears to be any consideration for the ways of the 1st world.

There is some sense of entitlement and I’ve been told about it. Told about it in the sense of 2 friends having a conversation. Me with 1st world perspectives and my friend with 3rd world perspectives.

I’m fully aware that the 1st world isn’t lily white in our dealings and some will grease the skids for easier access. We in the 1st world will also bring ours involved in corruption to task when we catch them. The 3rd world is more understanding, lenient, an acceptable cost of doing business.

The rest of this story gets even more gruesome. Nothing like a little human harvest to set the nightmare scene is there. Not a question.

Maybe a lighter mood? A joke to put you in the giggle groove?

So a wife walks in to the kitchen to make dinner, opens up the fridge and looks inside. Much to her surprise all there is to make are human hearts and other human organs. Quite the dream scream.

True story and yes I do know how and why those body parts got in the fridge. The upside if there is an upside, those body parts weren’t taken from anyone who was using them at the time. The harvesting of organs for sale to Sangomas.

Sangomas use body parts to make the traditional healing and it is in many cases deadly. They don’t tell you that part.

Many Africans hate the Sangoma while others believe. Ignorance doesn’t seem to be an issue. They’ve been told and shown different and the practice goes on. There are many of all colours that believe there should be no mercy shown to those that commit the barbarian acts.

I’ve used words and feelings from my friend in this narrative. It would have been an injustice to not use what was gifted to me.

Children. You didn’t think this witchy wonder was going to end with just body parts of the dead did you? Not my style to just stick it in without twisting it. So here’s the twist.

I’m told I wouldn’t believe the number of times children disappear only to be found dead with body parts and organs removed. I was told sometime back that children are raped by those with AIDS who believe that sex with a virgin will cure them.

My friend also tells me that the Sangoma are like drug dealers, take one down and there is always another showing up to take their place.

Recently the Government of my country committed 2.4 Billion dollars to Africa for climate control. I’m sure you’ll excuse me for believing they are worrying about the wrong fucking climate.

G.R. Hambley ©
January 20, 2016
All rights reserved

The Killing Kind – Cecil Lion Killing

LinkedIn Lookup; The Creepy Crawly App

LinkedIn Lookup; The Creepy Crawly App

LinkedIn has managed to creep me out with their new Lookup app. They did a good job of ticking me off previously as I noted in a previous post.

My original thought was to spin this a little different. When I got the email and read through the announcing of LinkedIn Lookup my first response was a creepy kind of disbelieving laughter followed by the; “are you kidding me” kind of laughter.

This is how LinkedIn introduced Sarah and LinkedIn Lookup with pictures.

  • Meet Sarah. When she has a big project with a tight deadline, she starts with LinkedIn Lookup.
  • Using LinkedIn Lookup, she searches for coworkers with the skills she needs to get the job done.
  • Sarah checks their profiles to confirm they’re the right fit, and then contacts them right from the app.
  • LinkedIn Lookup saves Sarah time by connecting her with coworkers who might otherwise be hard to find.

LinkedIn invited me to meet Sarah and I thought it be a good idea if I introduced Sarah to a good friend of mine. I had no idea they’d already met and neither knew that I knew them both, separately. Perfect recipe for disaster huh guys? You can be certain my ears will be burning because you know how women gossip when they get together.

When I introduced Sarah to my friend I said a few other things as well. I can even repeat some of them.

  • You can’t find them in their cubicle and can’t get them with office communications.
  • You’ve tried them at home and even seeing it was work calling didn’t get someone.
  • Do you really think you’ll get a response with LinkedIn’s creep you out app?

This is what my friend had to say about Sarah and I’m hoping with all my heart Sarah doesn’t find out because I wouldn’t want that dear, dear, misguided soul to think I was an unfeeling cad*.

Oh please: ”Meet Sarah…”  Was this written for a 5 year-old?
As Linkedin is utilized by adults, let us use adult-speak:
Sarah has a project.
Sarah doesn’t feel like doing said project.
Sarah realizes that said project has a deadline.
Sarah hears the ticking of the clock wasting away the hours.
Sarah feels the cold hands of Death clawing at her soul (although this has nothing to do with said project; Sarah is neurotic)
Sarah calculates that said project will cause her to miss cocktail hour later that evening.
Sarah does not want to miss cocktail hour later that evening.
Sarah throws a fit over the idea of missing cocktail hour later that evening.
{Interlude- Sarah chips her nail, and goes to manicurist to have it fixed}
Sarah makes a list of lesser co-workers onto whom she can dump said project.
Sarah uses Linkedin Spy App to seek out lesser co-workers.
Sarah does this because she’s a professional.
Linkedin is for professionals.
I am not a professional.
I am not on Linkedin.
But I do like cocktails.
Now Sarah will be able to meet me for cocktails.
The End.

There was one other thing my friend said, “Don’t keep Sarah late; it’s her turn to pay!”

I’m thinking Sarah will be paying large for this projects failure.
I’m thinking my friend is going to be hearing a lot of whining when they meet for cocktails.
I’m thinking there was more whining about the chipped nail than the missing minions.
I’m thinking my friend wasn’t really surprised when Sarah didn’t see the underlings as co-workers
I’m thinking the last pour will be on my friend and it’ll be Sarah in to a cab.
I’m proud of my friend for not leaving Sarah passed out in the lounge’s bathroom.
I hope the cocktail lounge had Sarah’s corporate credit card and my friend didn’t get stuck with the tab.
I’m especially happy my ears weren’t burning so thank you Sarah.

I am not a conspiracy theorist or a paranoid. Let me tell you though, something like another app such as LinkedIn’s Lookup that is designed to track you could get me going to that side of the conspiracy and paranoia fence right quick.

And wouldn’t you know it, as I’m working on this; another request has come in asking me to “participate” in access. This access request, it comes from … Microsoft.

G.R. Hambley – all rights reserved
October 16, 2015

*Cad is not gender specific.