EVIDENCE – Illuminating Sister Madly
It is well documented that a certain Sister Madly aka Wanton Moppet has had bad experiences with lights of the street.
A special investigative unit was dispatched to ascertain whether said incidents were real or imagined.
The findings of that investigation are now available under the freedom of information laws of several countries, one Anti-socialist Regime and a Herd of Flamingos.
Photograph 1 shows an over view of the scene.
The buzz going round was not electric and therefore not coming from what further investigation determined were the still terrified victims of the heinous act. Questioning the victims proved useless as in their non-shocking state they were only able to reply with unintelligible berrrrrraaps and kerrrrrrfizzles.
In the lower right of photograph 1 you will see that the assault did not reach either of the intended targets. This also raises question regarding a certain batting cave, errrr cage incident. After interviewing “The Professors” it was established that their sole purpose for the outing was to determine if “Sister Madly” was all field and no hit.
you are given a better view of the “Weapon of Choice”. Your investigator is pleased that said weapon wasn’t a pair of Jimmy Choo Sling Back Stilettos as those things could put an eye out and will scuff terribly when hitting pavement from a great height.
This shows that it would indeed take quite an arm to reach such a height.
We conclude, and rightfully so that the professors testified verily when stating they were actually trying out Ms Madly to see if she would be a good right field replacement on their softball team and were not just torturing Ms Madly as she proclaimed at the batting cave, errrrr cage that day for their own amusement!
Photograph 3 also shows us that for some strange reason nary a sole is to be seen.
The photo shows clearly that the shoes which were hurled at the poor lights were golf shoes. Sister Madly, aka Wanton Moppet has also previously stated she had a rather provocative and unfulfilling encounter previously with the game of golf. Ms Madly did in fact mention the hurling of objects during that encounter.
Exhaustive efforts were made to canvas the area for witnesses but all complained of being driven under their beds in fear and forced to cover their ears by some strange high pitched scream. When asked if the sound reminded them of a Banshee, to a man, woman, child and flamingo the answer was YES!
The answer to that question in the affirmative made this investigator question if the Banshee previously complained about by Ms Madly was in fact a sound emanating from herself when provoked.
The investigation has determined Sister Madly, aka Wanton Moppet is provoked by round objects as well as the previously noted sharp objects.
There are a few other items worthy of mention that were uncovered during this investigation and will be released at a later date. In the moment there is a pressing need for some Merry HO HOing!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a, don’t provoke Sister Madly!