Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm
I appreciate the efforts Seattle’s favourite favorite Mermaid has taken to foster diversity and inclusiveness.
Wasn’t to far back the Canadian Elves had sensitivity training and I’ll tell you straight up, the Coffee Elves I know are all a Bonnie Bunch of Baristas.
I do think that being welcoming to “STALKERS” and giving them their own gift card is a wee bit extreme, but I don’t make policy.
G.R. Hambley ©
July 05, 2018
This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!
So, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.
The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.
I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.
We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.
It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.
Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different
That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.
Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.
I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company. I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.
Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.
Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.
Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.
One of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.
A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.
Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.
I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.
I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.
The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.
Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…
We would all be appreciative!
The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.
The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.
The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!
Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.
Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?
I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace. That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.
If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.
I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.
I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.
Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.
There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.
I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.
Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.
Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.
I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.
Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.
These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!
This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/
I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.
With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.
I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.
I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.
That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.
If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.
If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.
I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.
So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.
Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.
G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018
Working Title – Whiny Awards
You’re not yourself when you’re whiny. Unless of course you’re a manipulative then you are yourself and thanks for being one of those exceptions that proves the rule.
I appreciate that Snickers has taken the Coke Concept and gave it legs, legs that you can kick people with.
We also have the ignorant whiner, those of any RITE, the “Radical Left” for example. Yes, that does mean Liberals because a flake by any other name is still whining, liberally. I’m old school, back in the day when “Flake” was more than enough.
I do appreciate that to a Liberal or Demoncrat (not a typo), that a Conservative “RANT” may appear to be a whine, it isn’t.
The thing is, with a conservative on a rant, you can get through to them with a “Constervation”. Yes, it was me that added that word to Urban Dictionary.
This chatter actually took place. Names and genders have been changed to satisfy the emotionally controlling snowflake safe space demands.
HE SAID
Ran in to a buddy. He took them for me.
SHE SAID:
Clearly, that was written by the Swedish Chef- not the French!
So… you’re whiny today?
HE SAID:
I’m never whiny. It’s for the awards I’ll hand out.
Buddy and I were having that conversation. A film project he’s doing. We were talking about dispositions.
SHE SAID:
I admit, you didn’t look very whiny in the photo, thus I had to ask.
When will you be handing out said awards? That would be quite the ceremony!
HE SAID:
You think it’ll be appreciated that I used both official languages?
Hey, have you folks got 1 yet?
SHE SAID:
I appreciate it.
Of course we don’t have one here- that would require the general population to actually learn something! You know, put in the effort…
HE SAID:
SNARKASM!
For those of you looking to use derivatives “En Francais”…
pleurnichard – crybaby
du pleurnichard – the whiner
avec pleurnichard – with whimper
In the moment I’m not sure whom or what to hand out the “1st Whiny” to. You know for certain I’ll be working on it. This is just a sample image. I think the final art work will be a bit creepy cuz whiny sure gives me the creeps!
G.R. Hambley ©
June 23, 2018
This morning as I’m going in to my coffee spot I encountered signs, two of them to be precise. Those two s
signs were an easy jump in to something else I’m working on.
In the moment and I’ve been saying it for a couple decades, Orwell missed by 50 years. Part of my reasoning that Orwell missed by 50 years you can see in my “Jacked In” piece.
It only took Microsoft a shade over 20 years to learn they erred, grievously.
The first one, a sign for the good service elves who take good care of the patrons. All of the patrons and not just the regulars they come to know.
When I first saw the sign I thought to myself , hey their concerns have reached across the 49th parallel. I understand this is more in their dealings with each other than with the customers.
There are only 2 places you meet people and 2 places only. At work and in your activities. That’s it.
Sexual Harassment without question is a problem and it is wrong. Telling people whom they can and can’t express an interest is also without question blatantly wrong. I feel for people who have encountered someone and harbour a genuine interest
The way I see it, if you have a genuine interest you have two options and two options only. You can move and persue a relationship or you can suppress.
The other sign was the tour bus of Ontario’s PC Leader. Not the first time I’ve seen that bus. I haven’t seen the Leaders of the sitting Liberals or of the NDP at all.
Again a government has displayed it’s totalitarian disdain for the people and the people have been cast in to having to vote strategically to remove the blight. Having to vote strategically because of what these fools have brought upon themselves.
All of the parties want the acquiescence of the people. They are all the same.
The best person for my riding may be the Liberal. Sorry Charlie, no vote for you!
This is how I see it going tomorrow.
The PC’s will be given a mandate by the voters. Whether it will be a majority or minority I’m just not certain. If I have to pick one, I say majority.
G.R. Hambley ©
June 06, 2019
All images are my own.
I was visiting my Obelisk this week and got a little retrospective. I enjoy flipping through time and screwing with the “Temporal Prime Directive”, among other things.
I reiterate, “My Obelisk” so get your own. No, no I don’t share!
A pothole appears where there never was one and you lose your oil pan. A tear suddenly happens in the grocery bag you’re totting and your goods are falling out. You find yourself going the wrong way on a one way street and you tell the cop writing you up that you’d swear on the stack of burgers you got on the seat beside you that the arrow point the way you’re going.
These are all impositions brought upon you by time travellers. It’s a very good idea to watch whom you piss off cuz…. They could be a time traveller. They could have angelic friends who don’t mind handing out some comeuppance so to speak.
I was winging my way around and stopped in front of the Hockey Hall of Fame to admire, “The Players Bench”. While I was gazing on said sculpture my critical thinking decided the piece should be seen throughout history.
I like this “Players Bench” piece enough that I think those in the past and those in the future should be able to appreciate Canadian Culture at my desire.
A couple days back I went forward to next Thursday (check the posting date) and brought the sculpture with me inside my Obelisk where it shall remain forever, maybe.
If you’re located right beside the sculpture at oh, 3ish in the afternoon, don’t be leaning on the thing getting your picture taken. If you’re attached to the piece when it moves, you’re going in to my Obelisk and I aint letting you out!
In the future and past, I will be moving things around and when I do, it makes holes and tears in the fabric of time. If you should lose something or bottomed out, among other evil nasty things that you can’t disprove in court … I did warn you!
G.R. Hambley ©
May 06, 2018, maybe
I wake this morning and I am now in my 60th year on this little blue planet 3rd from the sun. Doesn’t feel much different than yesteryear but it is!
It’s so cold in this country the Calgary Zoo took the Penguins inside. Yet, I go out and forage coffee. Priorities my good reader, priorities. Writing can not be done without coffee. No it can’t, hush yourself!
Last year and in previous years, I would write in two things at the same time, narrative and poetry. This behaviour has continued in to this year I’m pleased to say.
Sneak peek of the poetry… it aint close to there yet!
Should’ve taken the umbrella because it looks like pain
I can see and it looks like you’re headed for hell
I see it’s not a place where you’re going to fare well
You can trust me because everyone knows I’m insane
It’s good to be me!
Here in Ontario, I’m expecting it to be frigid until June 7th. Gonna get real warm that day, and if you’re of the liberally minded RITE, I don’t see you liking it one damn bit.
I took a cab late last year and the driver was real sociable. For all you immigrants, just because I’m Canadian it doesn’t mean I like frickin’ winter! I like winter in the country where it’s pretty. I like winter in California where you go visit the snow! Been there, done that, short pants 70-degree weather.
Winter in the city is mostly ugly. The snow don’t stay as it was purely driven very long.
This narrative interlude is complete. Poetry is staring me in the face. Word!
G.R. Hambley 01/01/2018 ©
Today is the winter solstice and tomorrow the days start getting longer again. The world turns over and while some parts of this big old world have their winter sleep, other parts welcome the days of summer.
The winter solstice to me as a spiritual person, my greatest time of reflection while looking forward to what will come next year.
For me this day is also the day of giving thanks.
Out with the old and in with the new, it just aint that simple.
I’ve so much world open to me now that all the work I did to achieve something I wanted so badly is complete. When 2017 began, I had no idea that when the year ended I’d be an English Teacher and technically qualified to teach anywhere in the world. I may have had a few of my friends shaking their heads over my commitment to achieving the goal. Thankfully, I got good friends who understand what it means to be driven, in a good way.
“Good Friend” and “Pen Pal” heard much more than others of the education path I was on. My rants were over things that would piss anyone off and had nothing to do with my abilities or lack there of. If you follow those links, you’ll get a look at the regard I have for those two individuals I call friend.
Another community friend who has become friend in our discussions and meandering around, we help each other out. He’s gifted me with some terrific photographs.
Ara Sagherian Photograph ©
He is both happy and not that I’ll be leaving. He wishes me nothing but the best. This is what you call honouring friendship on a direct emotional level. You speak the words. He took this shot
Driven and committed are not bad things though I do think those two people a couple of times would have been okay with driving me somewhere to be committed. I’m thinking it’s a shame, “The Hotel California” aint what it used to be. That is a tale I will someday write, maybe.
I’m thankful and appreciative of all my community friendlies too. The relationship is different. I talk about relationship in some of my narratives. My belief is that it is important to recognize those in your community. Most of the people do but there are a couple who just won’t. We aren’t talking about a relationship where you’re kissing someone in the ear. Being aware and personable is all we are talking about here.
I’ve a note this morning from an artist I’m fond of asking about being ready for the season and putting up the tree. The person notes going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. I know all about those feelings and have suspected this person, like me, has some level of S.A.D., “Seasonal Affective Disorder”. I had noticed the mindset before and offered up some help.
This other artist doesn’t know what today means to means to me. I don’t know if this other artist knows where and what the “Christmas Tree” actually represents.
In this day and age, most people call it “Cultural Appropriation”. This tree thingy like any other thingy, I would hope you know the history and honour it. Simple stuff.
I’m pleased and thankful that more people from around the world visited me this year when I have published less new content than last year.
I’ve now opened my email this morning and I’m smiling big cuz someone special has gifted me a, “Happy New Year”. I love things like that. Another person special to me is thanking me for remembering their birthday. I’m blessed to know and have these people in my life. What goes around comes around folks so if ya want it ya gotta give it. I would suggest the adaptation of one of my favs, “Freely, Joyously, Willingly”.
I’m also doing grunt work as I write this at my year end. Backup, backup, backup. Losing the computer would be one thing but losing the content I’ve created would be a hell of a lot worse!
A stray thought gets triggered about days of birth as I meander along this morning. I share the same birth day as Jack Nicholson and I do tell people this should explain a lot. Those people ponder that statement, look at me and usually just nod. By that logic people born on the same day would have characteristics of others born on the same day. Not born in the same year and yes born on the same day. I have very good reason to think that.
All my life’s a circle, seasons spinning round again, the years keep rolling by. Then there is, “So off you go horizon bound”.
Thanks again Harry and I still miss you and I’m still angry with you all these years later. I can’t believe how much time has passed in my own circle of life since you left us.
My time in this place is about done and for how long I will be away, I do not know. There is no timetable beyond thinking that at age 65 I’ll have to be in Canada and teaching will be in Toronto and/or online.
I went out and got me something that goes well with what I already love and has the potential to be sustaining for a long time. I do have that 150-year plan, as some of you who read me know.
I have a couple things to put in their place including the current melancholy and wistfulness.
Do not misconstrue dear friends, I am excited to greet the future and I shall adapt to my life’s changes.
My heroes have all been story tellers and I have more stories to discover in this big beautiful world. Stories and my love for the word, that’s why I’m going.
Another friend set off a trigger, Damn drummers are almost as bad as bears for getting in to shit. This is for you and thanks man but how about Toronto California?!
And that Drummer’s trigger set this off… “I said to my reflection lets get out of this place“.
To all of you the best of this season and all seasons.
I am out of here!
G.R. Hambley ©
December 21, 2017 – New Year Eve
Chapin Photo Pinterest
The powers that be informed me when I asked them why I hadn’t received certain things after being shown as course complete. I was told I had to complete those “Specialty Electives” before receiving their official blessing and benefits.
Ring kissing was not involved, and the electives are done.
I had looked to change “Teaching English to Korean Speakers” but it was a no. So, in I went in and did that elective over 4 days. I had waited the previous 4 days without a response to a few questions and had to resend the email.
I made my choices and that is it. Fair enough, and it didn’t hurt to ask.
South Korea has the Winter Olympics in 2018 and my plan was to do the Korean elective after the Olympics were over.
When I elected to take my TEFL through University of Toronto and OISE, well that was part of the appeal, University of Toronto and OISE (Ontario Institute for Studies in Education). I told the powers of higher education that when I ran in to some serious technical issues that those issues didn’t have to happen. I’m midway through the course and they rolled out a new and improved web site design. I went so far as to suggest they get the old site back online.
I hit glitches in both Specialty Electives, and both of those were presented in the old format.
If you look at my results on the “Teaching Test Preparation Courses”, final assessment you will see I passed by making 70% with zero attempts.
We’ll just call this an exemption on the final assessment for my demonstrated knowledge. No, I don’t like that “70” number and I’m reasonably certain I could get the “100” but I aint going backwards for the sake of that number!
I’m somewhat disappointed because Teaching those who are preparing for an ELPT (English Language Proficiency Test) or ESP (English for Special Purposes) is my preference for my Teaching English. I can do them all and as I just noted, teaching the ELP and ESP is what I like best.
Yes I am receiving some of what goes with a certain completion level. China among other places is looking very interesting,
As I’m writing this I received email notice on how to get my Certificate. Name as it appears on your Passport is recommended. I asked for my Certificate to show in the same way my name appears on my Passport.
I would have entertained using “Gary R. Hambley” as it appears on the business cards I had made up.
I haven’t had the entire benefit of course completion long but these folks are showing me some real good stuff! Yeah watch me tell you what I’m pursuing on the teaching abroad front.
There were technical issues that never should of happened and I addressed that with U of T.
Simple stuff, your new and improved aint working, get the old and functional back online!
You want to change the rules of the game, that’s fine too. But when you do that you create 2 paths and those already on the path stay there and those coming in new, they go on the new path.
There was flat out hypocrisy that I never addressed with the School and will address that here. I also hit a few things that flew directly against what I know to be true as a Life Coach.
This is applicable to all courses of study and not just “English as a Foreign Language”. You are taught about fair and valid assessments. You’re taught that you don’t spring surprises on the students in your assessments.
After the rollout of the new and infirm web platform that replaced the old and functional with poor typography platform assessment changed. The passing grade on Quizzes in the lesson sections went from 70% to 80% while the passing grade for the entire lesson assessment remained at 70%.
I don’t disagree with the number and in fact agree with the number the school set to pass the quiz. It was the hypocritical manner in that the change was made that perturbed me.
They changed the rules of the game after the game had started and that is one giant no no!
In the “Teaching Test Preparation Courses” elective “Exam Anxiety” was brought up. This is the statement that is made, “Help students to change or suppress negative thoughts or worries”.
No, no, no, not ever do you teach suppression!
If you have “Exam Anxiety” and I have it a bit more than the average person, you contact me and I’ll work with you to get you more comfortable and at ease. We Coaches and others call that endeavour, “Coping Skills”. Taking the exam is still gonna suck but you’ll be much better prepared to cope with those feelings and at no time will you ever hear me say, “Suck it up buttercup”.
Previous to that tidbit of information it was noted that if you’re finding yourself possibly over critical, put a Coach in the classroom with you to monitor your performance. I gave that piece of information when I hit it an audible, “no shit”. I had good reason when I hit what I hit to say what I did and more reasons later.
One of the things that Higher Education appears to need to learn is that their students are clients. I made that point clear on a couple of occasions because it was necessary to enlighten the bringers of Higher Education that while I am a student, I’m a client as well.
Education is different now. I’ve been computer literate for over 25 years. The changes in education brought on by the functionality of the computer in the last 25 years is wonderful. The delivery method of this education suits me to a tee. It didn’t take me long to tune out the audio and stick with the visuals of reading and then exploring the material outside the course work.
There were exceptions to me eschewing the audio and the “Teaching English to Korean Speakers”, I listened to everything! I will learn to make those sounds.
I learned a lot. I adapted myself. My thinking is different and the way I speak and express is a little less bombastic. I have my moments, as we all do.
Through this course of learning for me I created a teaching philosophy and figured out what my preference to teach is and why I have that preference.
So as the University taught, “Exit Slips” from your students regarding how they saw the lesson and even critiquing the teacher at term and year end are excellent sources of information.
Careful what you wish for because you just might get it and did you like, “My Exit Slip”.
Now if you’ll excuse me, the powers that be have placed the world at my fingertips and shown me how to go about garnering a teaching position.
G.R. Hambley ©
December 20, 2017
Writings from on the path.
Orbital Thoughts
Forever More, I Am A Teacher of English
It’s The Final Countdown
Oh My Head Again, or Watch Your English
Adapting Me
There Goes Perfection, For Now
Teaching Philosophy, Mine
English 101, 100
The Final Act
7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who tagged you.
If you take the challenge, leave me a comment.
G.R. Hambley ©
November 30, 2017
transitionu 
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