Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm
This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!
So, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.
The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.
I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.
We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.
It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.
Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different
That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.
Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.
I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company. I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.
Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.
Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.
Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.
One of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.
A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.
Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.
I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.
I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.
The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.
Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…
We would all be appreciative!
The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.
The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.
The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!
Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.
Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?
I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace. That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.
If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.
I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.
I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.
Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.
There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.
I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.
Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.
Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.
I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.
Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.
These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!
This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/
I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.
With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.
I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.
I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.
That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.
If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.
If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.
I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.
So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.
Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.
G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018
This morning as I’m going in to my coffee spot I encountered signs, two of them to be precise. Those two s
signs were an easy jump in to something else I’m working on.
In the moment and I’ve been saying it for a couple decades, Orwell missed by 50 years. Part of my reasoning that Orwell missed by 50 years you can see in my “Jacked In” piece.
It only took Microsoft a shade over 20 years to learn they erred, grievously.
The first one, a sign for the good service elves who take good care of the patrons. All of the patrons and not just the regulars they come to know.
When I first saw the sign I thought to myself , hey their concerns have reached across the 49th parallel. I understand this is more in their dealings with each other than with the customers.
There are only 2 places you meet people and 2 places only. At work and in your activities. That’s it.
Sexual Harassment without question is a problem and it is wrong. Telling people whom they can and can’t express an interest is also without question blatantly wrong. I feel for people who have encountered someone and harbour a genuine interest
The way I see it, if you have a genuine interest you have two options and two options only. You can move and persue a relationship or you can suppress.
The other sign was the tour bus of Ontario’s PC Leader. Not the first time I’ve seen that bus. I haven’t seen the Leaders of the sitting Liberals or of the NDP at all.
Again a government has displayed it’s totalitarian disdain for the people and the people have been cast in to having to vote strategically to remove the blight. Having to vote strategically because of what these fools have brought upon themselves.
All of the parties want the acquiescence of the people. They are all the same.
The best person for my riding may be the Liberal. Sorry Charlie, no vote for you!
This is how I see it going tomorrow.
The PC’s will be given a mandate by the voters. Whether it will be a majority or minority I’m just not certain. If I have to pick one, I say majority.
G.R. Hambley ©
June 06, 2019
All images are my own.
Evolving and adapting ‘tisn’t so for every such thing
Maturation hasn’t taken what is desirously alive
Byways in sunset years, a life long constant smoulders
Eagerly and ambivalently skipping stones in this new old age
Relations and passing ships should they dock or not
Solely isn’t lonely, without young angst, this heart still seeks
G.R. Hambley ©
May 01, 2018
Lyric
Your tears fall on the seed you planted
Your plan for the perfect man you wanted
Those words taking me for granted
Those words leaving me haunted
I keep talking and you don’t hear
I keep showing and you aren’t there
Where are you when it’s me that’s laid bare
Where are you when I need the love and care
And I’ve been calling, calling to say
Oh darlin, I’m not just for fawning
a pet in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I want to dance
but not in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I ‘m not going to stay
on display in your garden party
You made our plans without me
You made so many things hard to see
The times I begged you to listen and believe
The times you ignored me when I’d grieve
I tried everything to get through
I had to tell my heart it isn’t you
What happened isn’t some thing new
What happened is only one heart spoke true
And I’m still calling, still calling to say
Oh darlin, I’m not just for fawning
a pet in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I want to dance
but not in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I ‘m not going to stay
on display in your garden party
Oh darlin’ oh oh oh oh darlin’
I can’t stay
Darlin’ I had to say
I can’t stay
Oh darlin
I just can’t stay
G.R. Hambley ©
April 08, 2018
Jumping at the making of allegations by nameless and faceless entities must stop.
When allegations are made and there is no spine attached to the allegation, you can’t give it credence.
Strange days indeed and that aint no allegation. I wonder if John Lennon would find the days today stranger than or less than what his days were. I also wonder if Vlad Lenin is looking in from where ever he is, stroking his goatee and thinking, “Da Komrads”.
Fractured Factions punching out their truths without fear of repercussion. Have we not all learned that you don’t need to be accountable here in the age of knee jerk reactions to slander or libel. The current star of the knee jerk reaction, if a woman names a man, the man is guilty with out question and the poor hard done by sainted woman doesn’t even have to reveal her name or face. Pretty sweet card to have at your disposal f you’re a game player or maybe just want a woman in a job that a man has.
On the political front the Leaders I’m most aware of are our PM and the POTUS. This is about where their dedicated opposition doesn’t snipe on a comment made. Both of those entities have stated allegations are wrong. No one from anywhere got on the leaders for the statement because all of us, each and everyone of us knows, making allegations without a formal declaration or charge is wrong.
It is too easy in today’s social justice climate to throw an allegation at your mark and have it stick with some faction that demands an immediate hanging out to dry of the person that the allegation names. This is wrong!
Ontario’s PC Leadership race is now over and I wonder how much 2 of the hopefuls were damaged by taking the FemiNazi position of, “if a woman says it and a man is involved, he’s guilty”.
I did see that there were both males and females who were outraged that the “Autoguilt Switch” was installed in Christine Elliot and Caroline Mulroney.
Had the conversation with a few people about what led up to the event, or as I like to say, “The trigger/driver for the event. Elliot and Mulroney did something that appears to be fine for Liberals and the NDP but not for conservatives.
Anyone who doesn’t take a conservative approach to nameless and faceless allegations; not throwing colleagues and friends under a bus to support the Social Justice Warrior position.
Both Mulroney and Elliot had the chance to do the correct thing, the proper thing and make a societal statement and didn’t. They sold out and championed for the FemiNazi ass saving position. Look where it got them both.
Obviously, there was dissension in the party, so we just might want to consider whom had the most to gain by what took place. Elliot ran for the lead previously and lost and she has now lost again.
Conspiracy theorists of which I am not one but when you do the math on this one, someone got the knee jerk reaction they wanted but with Ford winning, I’m reasonably certain they didn’t get the result they expected by thinking the selection process had been set to auto-female.
We cannot give nameless and faceless allegations immediate credence because it is flat out wrong.
G.R. Hambley ©
March 15, 2018
Sailing unawares on your way today
Moving with a purpose only you know
Maybe it’s finally something that’ll be real
At least enough so you can make believe
Glamour girl gets her skirt caught in a twirl
Hair flip with the hapless I’m helpless giggle
Set free by the kindness of one of your strangers
Off you go leaving a wake of stalking heads
Should’ve taken the umbrella because,
because it looks like pain
I can see and it looks like,
like you’re headed for hell
Not a place for you,
you’re not going to fare well
You can trust me because,
because everyone knows I’m insane
Surprised to hear voices calling cats
Treats herself that the slights just imagined
Tricks of conscience kick start the reality train
Night scares turn over in to stormy days
Loving so many who don’t love her
Doesn’t understand how to be alone
She can’t stand going home on her own
No other girls she can tell her fears
She’s only one way to hide from voices
Taking solace in some lucky one’s arms
You look down, she tells you she loves you
You get up telling her you can’t love her
Should’ve taken the umbrella because,
because here comes the pain
I can see and it looks like,
like you’re already in hell
Not a place for you,
you’re already not doing well
You can trust me because,
because like you, I’m insane
G.R. Hambley ©
February 26, 2018
All round the world, love is deceiving
Mountains of love have been moved
Ashes and residues, marking such proved
Disciples crow that they are the deserving
Look hard, look twice at what you know
You think your wiles make everyone smile
Please see there are some whom you revile
Living to love when craving life’s marrow
Each and every way, not trying to understand
A null place, your heart‘s on your worn face
Stings under veils, still showing every trace
Angels in tattered wings working their plan
Night’s glitter faded to day wear tarnish
The door closes behind the window to your hole
Longingly watching, the abyss sinks your soul
You hang to hope knowing you’re about to perish
G.R. Hambley ©
December 22, 2017
7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who tagged you.
G.R. Hambley December 01, 2017
Lyric
(chorus)
Once upon a time, there was a time
Wasn’t much in way of reasoning
Ignored all your flashing eyes warning signs
(verse)
From here to there and back to there from here
Can’t quite keep straight what I’m supposed to do
Don’t quite know where I’m supposed to go
This lovin’ baby of mine, got me so I just don’t know
When she’s here she’s gone somewhere else
The calls keep dropping, she can’t say why
Got so many questions you’re going to have to hear
Any one answer could break this lovin’ heart
(chorus)
Once upon a time, there was a time
Wasn’t much in way of reasoning
Ignored all your flashing eyes warning signs
(verse)
More and more feeling I’ve made myself blind
I don’t know what’s got you getting in so late
Would you let me know if you’d found a new flame
Wondering how much more of your lovin’ I can take
Desires died, just like pissing out the fire at night
Almost believe it’s how you wanted this to go
This disinterest is our death so we gotta part
No grave yard sighs, thanks for the lovin’ and goodbye
(chorus end)
Once upon a time, there was a time
Wasn’t much in way of reasoning
Should of paid attention to your signs of the times
G.R. Hambley ©
October 24, 2017
Lyrics List |
|
| Then one day you look around and notice just how many you’ve done.
There is a contact me form at the end of the list. |
|
| G.R. Hambley © all rights reserved. | |
| 1 | Little Black Dressed is collaboration that is very special. |
| Living out life in a gleeful rage | |
| Innocence in this smile, tricks in another | |
| The sweetness of the slaughter upon the lips | |
| The second-hand silk is only a tease | |
| 2 | Closing Time |
| Another time, another place, | |
| you’d become not just another face | |
| 3 | Making My Way |
| Walking round and round that house of tells | |
| Your voice comes calling out in the dark | |
| Heard you sayin’ it’d be right for this old heart | |
| 4 | From The Stars |
| Long before there was sin | |
| Way out where the souls begin | |
| Came a song in a whisper | |
| 5 | We Have One Now |
| Happens once and a while, only for one man smile | |
| An angel face, melting eyes, her sweet breathy sighs | |
| Dropping in to talk, lingering on a walk | |
| 6 | Edge Walking |
| Waking to another day, already on the knife | |
| Always at the ready, keep staying honed | |
| Lookin’ round, it all appears the same as yesterday | |
| 7 | Realize It’s Over |
| It’s about taking time to take time | |
| There just hasn’t been much at all | |
| Call comes in on the telephone line | |
| 8 | On That Jersey Shore |
| Started out like any other day | |
| Woke up with the waves calling | |
| Wanted to just lie there numb | |
| 9 | If You Dare |
| Once in a time | |
| that was better than anything in your mind | |
| Not so strange | |
| in a world where love’s made such a change | |
| 10 | Red Rose Among The Trees |
| Know this being all alone to well | |
| Staying late, never going home | |
| Seeing others close, sticks and stones | |
| Hands in hands, hands in my pockets | |
| 11 | Baby Be Mine |
| She’s colder than northern winds | |
| She’s hotter than original sins | |
| Gonna be there and bide my time | |
| Do right and make that girl mine | |
| 12 | Now Begins Forever |
| We’ve been going round and round | |
| exchanging our half smiles | |
| having all those conversations | |
| where we won’t let them the end | |
| 13 | Counter Cutie |
| Climbs herself up on that chair, gives up a little high thigh | |
| Overtly lets them legs cross, grey skirt makes a swift shift | |
| Uncrossing them, a small curvy push, tilting back the cool stool | |
| 14 | Nella Notte Cieca |
| Believing with all her heart someday it’ll come true | |
| Letting the living lie slide on out the way it came | |
| Inside where she hides from herself and the pain | |
| 15 | Angel Beach |
| We were just walkin’ along that beach | |
| Seeing the ripples, rise higher and higher | |
| Stopping to stare into that setting sun | |
| 16 | Won’t You Tell Me |
| Baby I got these thoughts going on | |
| Sitting all by myself at home | |
| Sitting here feeling all alone | |
| 17 | Beach Bound |
| Been working an all night day | |
| Now there’s time for a little fun | |
| Sun’s making its morning run | |
| 18 | Departure Gate |
| Fretting over it hour after hour | |
| Worrying about it night after night | |
| Feeling it fall week after week | |
| Been knowing it for months now | |
| 19 | Train Of Thought |
| Sitting on this sweltering city roof | |
| Far below people roaming around | |
| Sweating and swearing as they go | |
| 20 | The Devil’s Fine Day |
| He done went down from heaven | |
| The boy just up and shuffled off | |
| The Devil took himself a powder that day | |
| 21 | Witness |
| Looking for a little down time | |
| . had to get myself away | |
| Monday morning glory | |
| . wasn’t happening today | |
| 22 | Crashing Down |
| Day slides it’s way to the end | |
| Not looking forward to going home | |
| Turning in at that bend in the road | |
| Rather be making a long drive alone | |
| 23 | Fallen Angel |
| Newly fallen she wakes to a different world today | |
| And she’s never | |
| never been on her own before | |
| Went from home on the hill to a home on loan | |
| 24 | In The Quiet Of The Night |
| Half past midnight and finally free | |
| free from the demands of a clamoring world | |
| World moving so fast it’s hard to keep your feet | |
| feet feel like miles and the miles feel like hell | |
| 25 | You No More |
| Sometimes you just know | |
| just know you got no more | |
| no more love left to give | |
| 26 | Girls Rite |
| You hear them, it’s the shame every time | |
| They’ve all had it happen, been torn apart | |
| Now another one’s got the no romance blues | |
| 27 | Falling Apart |
| These days are almighty long | |
| the nights so lonely | |
| Giving the best for the cheque | |
| spending nights in hazy dread | |
| 28 | Once Again |
| Once again freedom’s crying | |
| ringing out while on the run | |
| It falls to the old ones | |
| those who long ago came of age | |
| 29 | No More Yesterday’s |
| There were those who’d gone ahead | |
| Learned the ropes and roads and dread | |
| Some came and shared their mind | |
| Others struggled and suffered and died | |
| 30 | Everyone’s Girl |
| Her days don’t begin before three | |
| Her nights spent in party grove | |
| Never seen the sun go down | |
| Seen it coming up so damn often | |
| 31 | Lost And Found |
| The times wearing me on down | |
| no time for any little thing | |
| Sprung from the trap you set | |
| gonna take the fast road back | |
| 32 | Lake Side |
| Day dreaming out on the rocks | |
| sun setting the lake ablaze | |
| all but gone the hostage daze | |
| letting down all the blocks | |
| 33 | Haunting Her |
| Unseen she stepped inside | |
| Know it’s her by the steps | |
| She stares straight ahead | |
| Her face kept firmly set | |
| 34 | Once Bitten |
| We were young and oh so cool | |
| Back when we were all fools | |
| Feelin’ our way around | |
| 35 | Spinsters |
| Stories making the rounds | |
| none to be believed | |
| none to be trusted | |
| careful not to get busted | |
| 36 | Left Unsaid |
| Whispers and rustles making the rounds | |
| Sighs and gasps the disbelieving sounds | |
| It’s between us, no one must, couldn’t ever be us | |
| 37 | Were You Me |
| Watching out the window on a cloudy day | |
| Caught up in all those billows shifting shapes | |
| Faces through my ages floating in grey space | |
| There’s so little that’s left out in front | |
| 38 | Missing Day |
| Up in the morning and the coffee’s on | |
| Sour dough toasting, golden for me | |
| A little cinnamon sugar reminds of you | |
| Not even seven and there’s the phone | |
| 39 | Going Clean |
| Whispers in the air | |
| Eyebrows raising up | |
| Pretending not to hear | |
| Taking in what’s said | |
| 40 | If Only |
| Walking on home alone, | |
| that old bell softly chimes | |
| Passing right on by, | |
| the tower bell strikes again | |
| Falling farther behind | |
| that niggling bell tolls once more | |
| G. R. Hambley © | |
| All rights reserved
|
transitionu 
Recent Comments