Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm
Here it is Christmas again. Been a crap year according to most and I agree with the most.
Today we here in the northern hemisphere do have the 2nd best day of the year because after today the days start getting longer again! Won’t be long before we’ll be Patio Lanterning again! This is part of my coping skill set as an S.A.D., I know what it is, I know it will pass, ohmmmm.
You can see how happy and festive I am now that the days will be getting longer!
I’m tired of the anger and animosity that has carried over from 2015’s election on Canada’s political front. “We The People” are pretty damn tired of the anger and animosity in their piece of the world as well. We The People will be carrying theirs on for the foreseeable future. Personally I expect it to end somewhere just around the corner from never. History people, history.
The loses in Music kept coming and coming and coming. A statement I made 2 or 3 weeks back is this; as a child of the back end of the 60’s the losses this year have been more difficult for those of us from that era. I also said it isn’t a competition. This is the life experience we have that 20 somethings don’t and companies want those 20 somethings to have.
The most painful and devastating loss for me was Keith Emerson and this is what I wrote in response to the anger and animosity of Emerson’s suicide.
I have things to be thankful and happy for too.
A couple surprises in my favourite coffee spot were quite nice. Dave Thomas came in one day. Yes folks Doug McKenzie himself came in. For my American friends, if you don’t know Dave Thomas, he played “Russell the Pharmacist” on “Grace Under Fire” as well. I looked at him to make sure what I was looking at was correct. He saw me look and watched. I smiled and nodded (like your work), he smiled back and nodded (thank you). This is what you call your average Canadian Celebrity encounter.
The 2nd one was a grand experience. An artist I’ve liked for a long time came in to the coffee spot, Liona Boyd. She became part of the conversation. Ms Boyd told something to me off of me telling her where I had seen her perform one time. She made it fun and personal and I really hope Gordon Lightfoot liked the song that was done for him. I gotta see that video! I was so enamored, as beautiful and elegant as ever Liona Boyd is!
I related the Boyd story to, “Good Friend”. I told her I don’t care if some people consider it sexist, “Liona Boyd, She’s a doll”. Good Friend agreed that it’s a compliment and from what I said, a perfect description. Hell, I’ll admit this too as I write, I’m still enamoured!
I’m going to leave this here with happy thoughts and happy memories.
To all of you whether it’s Christmas or the Seasonal change or just plain weekend, I wish you all the best in the next year and the years after that.
G.R. Hambley – December 21, 2016
All rights reserved
Each one, every one, thinks, believes, it is within them
Little do they know, men know, such for all is just not so
Entrenched, ingrained, held indisputable within their psyche
Gradual, time allowances, should awareness rise, obtainable
Anatomically corrected direction objective, males ineligible
New experiences, new understandings, new bearing evolves
Course corrections, new attitude, time lines appear on the map
Evolution was not simply granted and was deliberately achieved
G.R. Hambley ©
June 20, 2016
This began as something I was going to offer a quick comment on. The more I thought about our current communication standards the longer I went.
My narratives are mostly story telling with lessons. The language flows in the form of me just telling the reader a story as if I was telling the tale verbally. I do not concern myself with being politically correct.
So many people, women and men alike are just sick of the politically correct hyperbole. You can count me among those that are not only sick of it but just not doing it anymore. I didn’t worry about the political correctness much in my own discourse any way. I don’t need to.
The language has reached new heights of emotionless. I’m feeling it and quite frankly it pisses me off. Gone too far and because of it people including myself feel pent up and frustrated. They think and feel they cannot express freely because it doesn’t fit the acceptable PC method of communication.
We in Canada have Mr. Feminist in the PM’s chair saying everybody should be a feminist. Just wonderful that is everybody thinking feeling and talking one way. Excuse me while I have as George Carlin put it, “an involuntary protein spill”.
Hell no! Everybody should not be a Feminist! No one should be a Feminist and everybody should be an EQUALIST!
Feminist can have an offensive connotation. Some, male and female alike will see it as marginalizing men and promoting women over men based on gender regardless of merit. This word will drive the Equalists who believe completely in merit appointment batshit crazy and is a sure way to start an argument with the Uber Feminist. There goes your touchy feely don’t ever even give the hint of offense to those looking to be offended language right down the crapper!
I don’t see much PC consideration in the use of that word so it becomes a one way word that isn’t fair to either sex.
The Prime Minister defined himself as a Feminist so don’t be getting all over me for opting to use the term!
I as an “Equalist”, contributed to a storm this Feminist created and you can read what I said about Mr Feminist’s PC “gender neutral cabinet” should you be so inclined.
Women are the reason for this soft indirect language. This language that teaches people to shut off emotion, avoid any contradiction or confrontation while teaching everyone how to be offended.
I started out my adult life in a trade. At the time it was all men in the Union Local I was in. The only woman I ever countered in a trade was an iron worker. She was job foreman too. She had her apprentice who is her brother on the job. The poor bastard. Oh I’m sorry, for the PC folks who are no doubt offended, a bastard is a type of file. Yeah, she’d file him good at times.
The language of the trade was created by the people in that industry. No right or wrong.
This paper was written 10 years ago. See page 4; point 3. “Estimates of the mental health workforce”.
The mental health professions: Workforce supply and demand, issues, and challenges
I had a quick look for more recent data and not finding what I was looking for fast enough, I’ll use my own observations. Nothing stopping you from going and looking for yourself. I wish you would.
I am an accredited Life Coach. My contacts include, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, other coaches and those in related health and wellness fields. I look at the fields and the number of women in the industry noticeably outweighs the males when contacts are suggested to me.
Most of my contacts are women. There are a couple women I have chatter back and forth with from time to time. In our communication they have no issue that I’m freer and male speak. We have had some talk on how men and women use different words to describe the same feeling. Yes this would be exploring our feelings and doesn’t come in to the PC Domain.
Much of the language in the industry is driven by women. I’m part of it and I get it. This is especially so with the nature of the industry, you have to be softer and more tactful. It is the nature of the beast and again, no right or wrong.
The biggest culprit for the indirect soft language is H.R., Human Resources. That is a field that is dominated by women. Simple stuff, those in majority in any industry are going to produce the language.
Male dominated or female dominated, how those dominants think is how the descriptive language and the components of the field are going shape and be communicated. No right or wrong.
I’ll offer this up as further evidence of the statement I made that women drive the soft PC language. A piece written in 2012 entitled, “Why Human Resources Isn’t Just For Women Any More”.
I read an item posted on LinkedIn and it led me to writing a response piece using my argument responses, to “Gottman’s Repair Checklist” responses regarding arguing in relationship. When I read the Gottman, it screams written by a woman at me.
Women being the majority in those fields created the language. Again, no wrong and no right. The one’s doing it are going to make the dialect, simple stuff.
The language that those females created made it’s nefarious way in to every day usage and became the standard for interpersonal communication. I understand how that language in personal doings can make people ill at ease.
If the number of people that say they’ve had it with the PC is so large why do we keep using that language? I think that language is used out of fear. We fear when we talk and that upsets us.
Now we are hitting the right and the wrong. If something makes you feel wrong then there is something bad going on. When those bad feelings occur you must explore them and discover why. Might be a damn good idea to stop doing what’s making you feel wrong.
People I’ve worked with appreciate that I’m earthier without being profane. Men and women alike appreciate how I convey. If you want a different description, I talk straight. If you don’t understand, “talk straight”, you have reading to do.
Men and women, while the same species are very different animals. There is no right or wrong in this. We see differently, we think differently and we express differently. We do this because we are different. That is how we are supposed to be or we’d all be the same with a very different means of procreation.
I am an “Equalist” and always have been. I’ve always liked the girls too. What that means is I enjoy the company of women and what they bring as women. I like that we’re different and we can express a mutual feeling with different words. I hope we never all “become one way” with expression.
One of those women I have chatter with, talk to, and yes we talk. I haven’t asked her if she considers what we do, “sharing” and if I did I don’t think she would use that word to describe what we do together. I think and believe this because she has told me she enjoys how I express myself. I like what she says too. Neither of us encumbered by the PC Language.
We both saw something we liked and felt the same about that thing. Her key word was, “Resonate”. My key word was, “Impact”. The feminine and the masculine, together and equal.
Together and equal. Men and women together without having to give up what we are to accommodate a language none of us like.
Together equally, men and women can make this despised correctness and fear that goes with it end. I am so good with that!
FYI …. My “E” IQ is 10 points higher than my “G” or “S” IQ 100 times out of 100.
G.R. Hambley ©
March 29, 2015
Jousting playfully for positioning with your companions new
Electric eel the game of choice, precocious you are when instigating
Reaching the majesty of six foot forty-two, when uncurling that tail
Oh how you snort and that look in your eyes when we let it snap back
Much to our chagrin, finding you’re charged in when hopping on
Energetic, eclectic with more than just a touch or two of the eccentric
G.R. Hambley ©
January 27, 2016
I’ve been doing a good deal of reading the last few weeks. Locally, nationally and globally.
Along with all I’ve been seeing I’m doing a lot of remembering.
My thoughts for this day and on other days when appropriate I will talk of what my knowledge is and I call it knowledge because I’ve never had to put my life on the line in service. I have family that has and what I learned from them I talk about, share with others.
Many have given and paid the ultimate price for freedom. This is not news. More are in service and paying for freedom and that isn’t news either. It isn’t news because these payments to freedom are a constant.
Another thing that isn’t news is that the need for those that serve continues. That need, at this point in our world history, is a damning shame!
It will be news when these payments for freedom will no longer have to be made.
Until that time. to all of those who have served I will make noises for freedom where I can and I will remember the sacrifices those of you who served made.
You can be assured that come the 11th hour I will cease what I am doing and reflect.
My gratitude and tribute will not ever change. I will always be Remembering November 11th.
Thank you all.
G.R. Hambley
For 11/11/2015
It’s a writer thing!
Data Packets:
For those that don’t know data packets are pieces of information of a whole of information. The whole is fractured in to smaller pieces for easier transfer. The packets are sent and on arrival at destination are reassembled back in to the whole they were. Pretty simple stuff and an easy enough concept to comprehend. Easier still if you understand “Beam Technology”, as in beam me up Scottie.
Memory:
As a writer I like this reference from my thesaurus.
3. The power of retaining and recalling past experience
Memory Data Packets and the Writer:
When you are working on a piece and the packets arrive from various sources you start tearing out the extraneous chunks to get at the section of the packet you desire to use.
Bottleneck:
The term as it applies to where I’m going with it here means a wealth or dearth of information lodged in a narrow memory opening waiting to be sorted in to useable pieces. The sorting process in action with an unexpected arrival of more data packets. Bottleneck increases.
Step Down:
What you do if you’re smart so you can mentally sort and align the data without worrying about the information reaching the page. Some might even call it thinking it through.
Intelligence:
Realizing you’re hung up and strung out and having the sense to stop.
STOP:
I know how and can do that!
G.R. Hambley ©
October 21, 2015
I decided a couple hours after this was up it needed a song to go with it. I almost went with, “Everybody Wants You”, but this is way more appropriate!
I was playing with a good friend. Both of us being devoutly warped, we had some good stuff going on. We bounce off of each other and it is so much fun!
Friend: Exploring xxxxxxxxxxx? That sounds like fun!
Me: I don’t know hon. I seriously grossed myself out about an hour ago. Ew!
Friend: Do I dare ask how you did that?
I told my friend the how and the why of how I’d upset myself. When I had related the tale and at the end wondered to my good friend if this should be a tale to take public.
Friend: I think it’s worth telling. The method with which you related it to me is certainly tasteful enough- it’s not vulgar yet leaves only what is necessary to the imagination.
Me: Thank you. I shall.
~.~.~.~.~
This is how my relating the story to my friend went.
I don’t mind telling you. I do mind how I say things any way. It matters more to me how what I relate goes across to you.
I will tell you. I care to be as urbane as possible because this “EW” is real and it is you I am relating this to and in the moment I can’t get past “EW EW”!
I had to stop for a minute there and said so to my friend.
There is an individual, a woman of the street. Her attire is revealing, extremely so, always. The woman also has delusional issues. Tattooed she is. Not that I mind tattoos as you know. She has stocking seams tattooed up her legs that run in to giant bow things just below always exposed cheeks.
Someone who shall remain me gave this woman a nickname.
Someone who shall also be me had about 30 second interaction with this woman when he was coming out of a store one early evening.
It seems this woman never sleeps except on odd occasion when prone on a sidewalk. I’ve seen it a few times and once was far more than enough.
Now there were others who wondered about this woman and have said so after seeing her and her 4″ wide skirts and 3: wide tops and her always over exposed bits.
Anyone who saw wondered, they couldn’t tell if the person was male or female. We don’t need to be getting in to the speculative conversations here.
I nicknamed this individual, “Sammy The Tranny”. The nickname got around among people I know and has stuck. I’ve heard others I don’t know refer to the individual by that nickname. I’m not real pleased with myself for that one.
That individual was at a coffee spot this morning when I walked in. She was perched on one of the bar height chairs. She was not perched daintily. She was creating a disturbance of true diva proportions. She was asked repeatedly to leave by the elf in charge and continued her entitlement performance. Elf had to call the police. The woman was not only told the police were called but that it was being done. She completed her performance, picked up her shoes and left.
I was waiting to get coffee and related to elf in charge the interaction I’d had with this woman on a previous occasion. Elf in charge had the same reaction outwardly that I’d had in my encounter with this woman and contained.
I told my friend that I started thinking about ways to spin a street theatre as story or maybe poetry. I said to her, “You know how I look to piece things together and as the wheels spun I hit sonnet on the 14 letters of “SAMMYTHETRANNY”. Soon as I thought it my brain went EW EW NO!
My interaction with this woman was this. When I came out of the store she asked me what I was up to and I immediately went in to leave me alone smart ass mode and said, “about 6 feet”. She responded, “I want my kids to be about 6 feet”. Inside myself I had a major “EW” and kept on going.
The Unfortunate that had the turkey leg episode and Space Ship Dude who I see a couple times a week. SSD, he always smiles and asks how I am. He is genuine and wants to know that you’re good. He appreciates when you ask him how he is. I am good with those people and I don’t mean in a not just tolerate them manner.
Others, tolerant of not so much and yet they all have disconnects too.
Yes I know Space Ship Dude’s name and use it every time I talk to him. I do not know the Unfortunate’s name and I am uncertain whether or not to ask him. This woman, I will not be asking her name.
I think for me, not even think, I know for me it comes down to consideration. There are those with disconnects that are considerate of others and I’m good with them.
You can argue this is the core of the city.
I’ll argue back, it’s the heart of the city too.
Happy Thanksgiving
G.R. Hambley ©
October 12, 2015
Being Saturday it is the day I enjoy just taking off on any thought tangent I like. You’ve been told!
Diary? Sure why not. Just one though! Being a guy I’m more open to journal than diary. There was that whole incendiary thing and as we know you can’t have incendiary without diary but that’s a whole other story!
I been readin’ and writin’ and switherin’ and slappin’ and generally just being me. It is what I do and I do it so very well. Can you believe there are people who just put their head in their hands to hide their smirk over some of the things I say? I’m going to need to define a term for this behavioural positioning. Probably gonna have to make up a word for it too. Don’t worry about me I’ll manage. It isn’t like I haven’t made up viable words before.
Let’s just see how this resonates. I thought I’d made up a word but I hadn’t and I sent this up before I knew the word I’d made up I didn’t make it up but Urban Dictionary likes what I said so they published the word I thought I’d made up that I didn’t make up.
Speaking of words, found myself in line with my Doctor at coffee spot. We had spoken previously when I was in seeing him at his office and I pointed him at my blog. Doc told me he went and read me. Doc also said something to me about me and my stuff no one had ever said before and I love it. The word he used is, “prolific”. Yeah I love that a lot!
Today got off to a good start and not. Coffee spot’s Elf In Charge was late. Spot did not open on time and had to go to other spot. Had a chat with the elf who couldn’t get in to spot and perform elf duties. It has turned colder here so me and elf headed to alternative spot together.
We talked about how I speak of the staff as elves. Minions became part of the conversation and yes I like the different memes from time to time. Even found one I can relate to perfectly. Any how, elf asked me why elves and not minions. I told the elf it is because elves is majik folk. Elves is helpers for Santa. And it got cold here quick and I’m thinking the jolly ol’ elf might actually be on the way early.
Minions is word I know well and don’t often use because to my mind a minion is a subservient. My thesaurus and I just looked. one description for the word minion and it is, “a servile or fawning dependant”.
As an illustration I’ll use something I’ve observed at one of my coffee spots. Tall leggy creature with minions in tow visit coffee spot regularly. Her 3 and sometimes 4 male minions that look more like ladies in waiting but hey maybe it’s just me seeing it that way. Nah anyone paying attention sees it but me, well I’ll say so. The girls came in one day without the princess and looked kind of lost. I’m hoping the princess was out buying a new Little Black Dress, cuz the one she’s got looks good until you notice it’s got a pouch like a hoodie. Oh trust me when I tell you it is just NASTY!
I’m glad I fractured myself. The fracture would be the second blog I started up, SPASM. At the time of this writing the last 2 pieces I’ve posted, one for each blog. Both pieces could have gone on one or the other with a different style. WTF LinkedIn and Man O’ Man are the two pieces.
Believe it or not the desire I felt to take a strip off of each party was equal but for different reasons. My disdain was much greater in the more eloquent piece here on the transitionu side.
I went back on to LinkedIn and discovered that the comment I commented on disappeared. I don’t know the workings of the site well enough to say but it appears the individual who made the comment I railed against took their comment off after reading what I had to say. What I said in comment doesn’t show in my activities so I really do think I have the disappearing comment mystery correct.
The photograph of the person who made that comment was part of their profile and the skill set I have allows me to put looks of shock and horror on that face. What the individual said is gone and they got an awakening, That works for me. There were and are other comments that vilified the writer and the piece written. Those words are still there and that works for me too.
Had some exchanges with a good friend on the Dark Continent regarding the killing of Cecil Lion. Talking about what is going on with the Zimbabwe courts and hunter Theo Bronkhorst. Seems this big bad hunter wants the courts to dismiss the charges. Well no kidding huh. The courts will decide by October 15th, this year whether or not to dismiss. My good friend is of the opinion this Bronkhorst guy is a total asshole. I agree. Just so you know, Bronkhorst was arrested for allegedly smuggling rare animals in to South Africa. Yeah this guy is a real sweetheart.
People are sharing my table, young girl of 8 with grandma and conversation briefly goes to age of another kid. Grandma says what 4 years older and young girls say no, 3 ½ . Oh the age when 6 months makes a vast difference. You can have that age. Would I take 20 years younger? Maybe.
I’ll wrap this up with the kids. My friend in South Africa and their sibling know we gotta get the kids because the three of us had that conversation. Real time live the three of us had that conversation. It came out of the wondering why twenty years after the fall of Apartheid things hadn’t changed much.
Someone I know in Alabama knows it too that we gotta get the kids. There is someone I know in the Philippines that also knows we gotta get the kids. This aint new or news folks. Simple stuff that so many of us know. For the world to be a better place we gotta get the kids.
Why aren’t we getting the kids?
The 60’s are long gone but there are many of us who can pass on the feeling of the protest movement. We can share it and shape it with the kids and they can apply it to the problems of today for the betterment of the future.
G.R. Hambley ©
October 03, 2015
A friend of mine posted up an item on Facebook that I decided to take part in. This is what was posted by my friend Johnny Sinclair, “I intend to fill Facebook with comic book heroes for Childhood Cancer Awareness, Give me a like and I’ll assign you a character.“.
A truly worthy cause. Awareness is one of my categories on WordPress and I use an awareness category on Linkedin as well. Filling up FB with comic book heroes also appeals to me as a wonderful alternative to some of the remanufactured crap that is passed off as newly profound and is so prolific on FB.
Johnny’s posting also got me thinking about something else on the cancer awareness front that will be with us for the month of October and that is breast cancer awareness. Again a very worthy cause and from what I’ve seen a terrific way to sell merchandise. Buy our stuff and part of your purchase price goes to the fight against breast cancer.
About a year ago a purveyor of home furnishings was brought to my attention on FB that was doing exactly what I just said. You buy from them and part of the purchase price goes to the fight against Breast Cancer. I went over to that retailers FB page with a purpose.
Everywhere you look in October something is pinked. Well almost everything because I choose to opt out of the pink. The truth is I’ve opted out on the pink for a number of years.
Included in the list of being PINKED for breast cancer awareness is, The National Football League, The National Hockey League, Major League Baseball, The NBA and MLS Soccer and here in Canada the CFL is for awareness for women’s cancers.
A deadly, ugly disease with what is an incredibly cute cause. The pink merchandise you can buy sporting your favourite teams logo is vast and I know this because I went and looked. Lots of other merchandise out there you can buy to support the cause as well.
I went to that furniture retailers FB page with the same purpose of mind that causes me to question the motivations of the major sporting leagues that serve Canada and the United States. The beauty of FB is that unless you take down what you put up, it stays there. You just have to scroll back far enough.
I went scrolling back on that FB page looking for something specific and was not the least bit surprised to find that what I was looking for wasn’t there. I sent that retailer an email asking very nicely about why what I was looking for wasn’t there. I received an email back that said in the future what I was looking for would also be something they would show cause for.
The Toronto Argonauts at one time showed cause for what I was looking for and I don’t know if they do anymore.
I don’t see any of the major sporting leagues doing anything for the cause I was looking for and you think they would. I don’t see much in the way of visible cause at all for what I was looking for. Maybe that’s because you can’t put something cute like “Save The Ta Ta’s” like I saw on a t-shirt for this cause so it just don’t fly.
Johnny assigned me “Thor” as the comic book hero.
And just so you know, April is awareness month for testicular cancer.
Gary “HAMMER” Hambley – all rights reserved
September 24, 2015
Toronto Argonaut Norm Casola and a small tribute to the man.
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