Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm
G.R. Hambley ©
June 30, 2018
Starring in to the shadow of yourself, ’tis somewhat like starring in to the abyss.
Lyric
Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Need a plan that’s been defined
Figured out some things
Left others behind to die
If we’re telling the truth
Knew them both long ago
Rainbows over waterfalls
Heartaches under sunbeams
Smiles pasted on never wear off
Lookin’ for space in between
Somehow someway says the reason
Key inside of me keeps turning
Wound tighter than I’d ever been
Visions aren’t hallucinations
Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Now a plan that’s been refined
Theory worked real well
Putting it in to practice
Read all the detour signs
Even heeded the damn things
There aint no battle cry
I’m all out of quiet desperation
Door got closed on the what it is
Wide open to a siren dream
Still a pile of things to do
Goodbyes ‘ill maybe get sent
There’ll be a few to see
Done it all and now I’m free
Those changes on the mind
Didn’t make them blind
Got a plan that’s perfectly mine
G.R. Hambley ©
June 27, 2018
I get nerve blocker shots every week. This journey in pain management takes place on June 19th.
I’m never in good humour on a shots day. My “snarkasm” level is high. Snarkasn is a couple steps above sarcasm. I’m agitated. I’ve related this adventure to people and a few wonder how I do this all the time, my response (with a look) is how can I not.
I’m making my way over to the docs OFFICE and it occurred to me that I haven’t shown the other side (East side) of the Market. I’m usually on the west side when I’m there, afternoon sun thing. The west side has two levels, so you can be out of the sun if you care to,
As I get to the office one of the good coffee elves was coming the other way. We chat a bit and I wasn’t pleased that the elf didn’t care to change places with me for an hour. The elf was forgiven later in the day.
On checking in, reception tells me they’re running half an hour late. This adds to the already giant pain in the ass that I already have. If I say I have a “PITA”, it is usually a literal “Pain In The Ass” and not figurative.
I don’t even count how many shots I get at each session anymore. It was 10 or 12 shots. It’ll be the same give or take a couple next week, and the next week…
I do the exit blood pressure check set my next couple appointments and leave.
It’s now past 1:00 pm and with the Market being so close, I know where I’m headed for lunch.
I’ve touted the Market and its Fare before. It was always the savoury. On this day I decided lunch was going to be a dessert. I went critical thinking on this when I saw the selections as I was cutting through to get to the upper west side picnic tables.
Eve’s Temptations and these are just a few!
Having availed my self of one of Eve;s baked goods and a fork I headed for the sunshine.
There are a few late lunchers scattered around and plenty f space to be somewhat solitary. A place to relax and enjoy the peace.
Yes this is the city core. Yes there are city noises that are usual and unobtrusive. The burbs and the boons got there sounds too, I’ve never been a fan of that high tension wire whine.
I pick my spot and make myself comfortable with my “Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble” and Ginger Beer.
After that little slice of delicious I pull out my book and start thinking about poetry.
I truly hope as an artist and teacher cursive writing is never lost. My penmanship isn’t anything to write anyone about and I love it.
Writing, especially by hand, involves a lot of not looking at the page. I do not like strike outs in my handwritten pieces. Each line and how it works with the direction of the piece is considered. When I put the line down that’s how it stays.
I had put my pen down and was looking around. Not really seeing and not really missing anything I’m seeing. The art of paying attention and not if you like.
I see one of my community friendlies coming my way and the individual stops when they get to my table. We wind up in a discussion about relationships and examining things from a different perspective. We talked about the emotionality of the matter. The triggers and drivers of behaviour and what may be trying to be accomplished.
It isn’t always easy to step outside yourself when you’ve been wounded. Sometimes we all need to bounce off another person.
I’m pleased to say that my friend went away in a much better frame of mind than when they arrived.
Me, I went back and added the 4th line to what I’m working on before toddling off.
The poetry started in the sunshine and it shall finish in the sunshine.
G.R. Hambley ©
June 25, 2018
Lyric
Your tears fall on the seed you planted
Your plan for the perfect man you wanted
Those words taking me for granted
Those words leaving me haunted
I keep talking and you don’t hear
I keep showing and you aren’t there
Where are you when it’s me that’s laid bare
Where are you when I need the love and care
And I’ve been calling, calling to say
Oh darlin, I’m not just for fawning
a pet in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I want to dance
but not in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I ‘m not going to stay
on display in your garden party
You made our plans without me
You made so many things hard to see
The times I begged you to listen and believe
The times you ignored me when I’d grieve
I tried everything to get through
I had to tell my heart it isn’t you
What happened isn’t some thing new
What happened is only one heart spoke true
And I’m still calling, still calling to say
Oh darlin, I’m not just for fawning
a pet in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I want to dance
but not in your garden party
Oh darlin’ I ‘m not going to stay
on display in your garden party
Oh darlin’ oh oh oh oh darlin’
I can’t stay
Darlin’ I had to say
I can’t stay
Oh darlin
I just can’t stay
G.R. Hambley ©
April 08, 2018
Among all the other smiles
There you were dancing free
Your gypsy skirt flying high
Girl you caught more than my eye
Couldn’t help but watch you move
Hair water falling down your back
You caught me staring madly
Saw your eyes make me your mark
Keeping time with those devilish hips
Lips sending me your angel kiss
Gypsy woman crooks her fingertip
Calling with her wiles to play her game
The same music keeps playing on
Everyone with their own old verse
Those others don’t have the sense to go
We gotta romance and they’re in the road
G.R. Hambley ©
February 23, 2018
I wake this morning and I am now in my 60th year on this little blue planet 3rd from the sun. Doesn’t feel much different than yesteryear but it is!
It’s so cold in this country the Calgary Zoo took the Penguins inside. Yet, I go out and forage coffee. Priorities my good reader, priorities. Writing can not be done without coffee. No it can’t, hush yourself!
Last year and in previous years, I would write in two things at the same time, narrative and poetry. This behaviour has continued in to this year I’m pleased to say.
Sneak peek of the poetry… it aint close to there yet!
Should’ve taken the umbrella because it looks like pain
I can see and it looks like you’re headed for hell
I see it’s not a place where you’re going to fare well
You can trust me because everyone knows I’m insane
It’s good to be me!
Here in Ontario, I’m expecting it to be frigid until June 7th. Gonna get real warm that day, and if you’re of the liberally minded RITE, I don’t see you liking it one damn bit.
I took a cab late last year and the driver was real sociable. For all you immigrants, just because I’m Canadian it doesn’t mean I like frickin’ winter! I like winter in the country where it’s pretty. I like winter in California where you go visit the snow! Been there, done that, short pants 70-degree weather.
Winter in the city is mostly ugly. The snow don’t stay as it was purely driven very long.
This narrative interlude is complete. Poetry is staring me in the face. Word!
G.R. Hambley 01/01/2018 ©
It’s all said and done and now I’m orbiting looking at jobs teaching English.
The course was terrific except for the technical glitches on the school’s side. On the I.T. side, the issues were addressed with the University and the ship moved on. Well the glitches affecting me are over with, I hope.
I opened up a “Speciality Elective” for a look see, “Teaching Test Preparation Courses”. Hit a glitch. Hit a critical thought judgement too. I’ve only looked at the first section, but I think this would have been a good way to start out any instruction of teaching English.
What’s next is a controlled search and searching out a couple contacts. With one of my contacts a short discussion has been had. The wheels are in motion to an introduction.
In the looking around I’ve discovered something we have that the rest of the world has too, weekends.
The point being is that there is a job to be done and there will be time for the culture and the sites. The immediate co-worker culture will be taken up immediately. Those co-workers are going to have information I’ll need if I want to be successful.
I put a few irons in the tutoring fire in my community as well. My community friendlies are a good bunch of people and I’ll miss them when I go. The plan is to come back, but who knows.
It is as important and maybe even more so, that you know where you don’t want to go.
If the cultural norms of a country disturb you to the point where you cannot respect them, don’t go there. Simple stuff. If you opt to go to a place where you think you really don’t belong and find yourself in difficulty because your Alligator Mouth overloaded your Hummingbird Ass, you own it, on your own.
For me, warm matters but it isn’t everything. I’m spiritual and learning of “Eastern Spirituality” up close and personal appeals to me. I’d like to see “Red Square” and “The Winter Palace” too. I love the architectural no matter where I find it.
I don’t think I’d mind Tibet, but in the moment, I just don’t have enough information and that’ll change. I would kind of like to see the place where I’m going to be working in my second next life.
They tell me culture shock is inevitable. They tell me how to cope with Culture Shock.
Decorum is universal and an important part of one’s make-up. I have that, and I practice it every day. They also made it clear what not to put up with. I don’t see me having a problem with standing up for myself and getting help should I need it.
What is my teaching preference? I want to teach the ELPT’s. I wanna teach the game. I got the game for the task.
This is “Language Arts”. Art is messy.
Don’t worry about it, you’ll clean up, read on.
I see teaching ELP’s in the same way I saw teaching the trade at the Trade School Level.
I’ve spoken of this before about the different dynamic for apprentices at College. We were there as part of our job. We left our jobs to go to school and then went back to our jobs where our marks were reported to our employer.
For lack of a better term, “The regular students”, the ones who had come from high school straight in to College preparing for a career. They don’t know anything but being students and their mindset was different.
The regulars were preparing for something at school and the apprentices were working at school.
People looking to take the proficiency tests for entrance to university in a foreign country, they’re in the game with a purpose. People looking to take an ESP, English for Specific purposes, they’re in the game too. They’re motivated to achieve with a goal in mind. Isn’t that the idea of a game, to score goals of some kind?
I’ll be comfortable as I can be teaching any level. Teaching the game is my preference.
I’m friends with a man of the Christian cloth. We have had some interesting conversations and we’ll have more. In the conversation we had last we talked about blended language.
I’ve spoken on blended language in my, “Carlin Influence” piece.
Both my friend and me, we have good vocabularies. We use them speaking to each other. We talked about how we both blend the academic and the interpersonal when we talk. We agreed, we wished there were more people who did the blending we do in interpersonal communication.
We both have a good sense of humour and we’re both pragmatic. Pretty much the only place where we differ is on what is the path to ascension. I respect his path and he respects mine.
He doesn’t even mind waiting when I have to take a phone call from on high.
It turns out I was mistaken about being done. Especially when they told me I was 100% complete!
I was functioning on the presumption that with there being 3 different course offerings to this TEFL course, the completion levels were graduated. I’m told that’s not the case and the Electives, which show up as different courses have to be completed before I’m seen as being complete and therefore worthy to receive the benefits that go with completion.
I now have a Quandary of my own that I’m waiting on answer to from the powers that be of Higher Education. Been almost 48 hours since I sent an email inquiring.
What the hell, it’s weekend, somewhere but apparently not in my orbit.
G.R. Hambley ©
December 09, 2017
DAY 3
7 days, seven black and white photos of your life. No people, no explanation. Challenge someone new each day and tag the person who nominated you.
G.R. Hambley December 02, 2017 ©
No, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate anyone.
The title of this piece, “You Don’t Hate Me” is from an individual who asked me if I like them. That after I had said “No” to being asked by that individual if I liked them. I don’t dislike the individual either.
There are a vast number of people I neither like, or dislike. This possibility didn’t figure in to the individual’s equation.
There are a great many people who don’t put all the factors in to their equations.
All those people I’m in indifferent to, I hope they’re having nice lives and are basically happy. People who are having basically happy lives probably aren’t up to stupid shit. I detest stupid shit.
I got a whole lot of healthy indifference for pretty much everyone on the planet. You and me, we’re all the same. You got a whole lot of indifference too. I’m not much for telling people what they should do but in this case, that worldly indifference, so you should.
I’ve also got an interest in meeting and talking to people and not just foreign ones.
I also have a pretty intense dislike for a handful of people walking this rock too. They earned it.
You hate me! I’m good with that and you know what else, I don’t care. I don’t care and you can just carry that hatred load as long as you desire. Hatred is a wasted emotion. Hating only demeans the self.
G.R. Hambley
July 04, 2017
I shot the Ibis a long time ago and you’re welcome to use the meme.
There are times when a chance encounter will forever stay memorable. Of course this is one of those times or I wouldn’t be telling me about it so I can tell you about it.
A woman and her two daughters took the table beside me late one Sunday afternoon. Mom unknowingly knocked my plug lose from the outlet when she sat down on the long bench we share in this cafe.
“Hee Sun” is the woman’s name and she is a creative. Hee Sun and her daughters are South Korean. I learned this in conversation with mom.
Thus begins a tale of enchanting encounter and wonder.
Apology was made for knocking out the plug. Assurances given that there was no need for sorry and no harm was done.
The lady stands and reseats herself after I’ve returned the plug to the outlet. Where the outlets are in this cafe, decorum demands you either put the plug in for someone or get out of the way. Not doing so could lead to an incident which in this case would have been an international incident and who needs those?!
It’s difficult to not see what is up on someone’s computer when you’re settling yourself in to place. Hey if it were something that private you wouldn’t be working on that something in a cafe.
I had some art and poetry I was working on up on my computer and Mom saw it when she sat back down. Hee Sun asked she me about what she saw.
Doesn’t happen often and I’ve done it myself, commented on something I’ve seen that’s art. Made a couple nice friendships that way but I don’t advise trying it unless you’re a creative. A little understanding and perspective folks. Understanding that there are personable people and that being personable is a good thing is a nice start.
I could have shut off any conversation right quick just be putting my ear buds in. Not like I haven’t done it before and won’t do it again. Sometimes when I got the buds in they’re just in so I don’t have to listen to anything and by anything I also mean anyone.
We start to talk and Hee Sun tells me she has written a children’s book and the illustrations are done by the daughter who is at home in South Korea.
The two daughters (I do not know their names) were graduating McGill and Mom had come from South Korea for the girls commencement. They had a few days here in Toronto; then a couple days in Montreal for the exercise and back to Toronto for a few more days.
Choosing Toronto over Montreal to tour, good choice. Toronto is the most cosmopolitan city in the world. Landing here in “Community Mine”, lucky for me and lucky for Mom.
We can have the Toronto vs Montreal debate another time.
So me and she talked. We shared our thoughts about poetry and art. We talked a bit about her two graduating girls. We talked about how we’re all the same.
Sun Hee and me talked for about an hour as the girls amused themselves with their phones. The girls will be staying here and looking for jobs. We talked about that too.
Oh alas, oh woe is me. They’re grown up and they’re staying here and they’ll be so far away from their dear mother. If you’re thinking the lament of this South Korean Mother is the same as a Canadian mother or an American Mother or Jewish Mother, you’d be correct. You’d be correct because we’re all the same.
It wasn’t that extreme but Hee Sun was feeling the separation anxiety.
She read a couple of my poems and a narrative of mine. We went through them together as Hee Sun read aloud. She apologized for English once as she went to one of her daughters for help with better understanding the English through Korean.
Hee Sun showed me the cover of her book on her phone. She said she had one copy at the hotel and would send it to me. You see the book she sent me in the first image.
I mentioned her 3rd daughter did the illustrations for the book and they are terrific. Strangely or maybe not, the mom in the book looks similar to Hee Sun. Maybe it’s just because they have the same hair-do. Nah, it’s deeper than that.
I introduced the lady to John Donne and like so many, she knew Donne without knowing it’s John Donne. I told Hee Sun that I have a good friend who after reading Mr. Donne’s Ye Olde English, decided that any future spelling errors would be attributed to Ye Olde English. The lady smiled at that.
Hee Sun spent a semester at Harvard and did a trail visiting the places of poets renowned in England. She likes the Romance poets and now has another romance poet she likes, me.
I had this conversation a couple weeks ago (June 04, 2017) and I’ve run the encounter past some of those in this “Community Mine” that I’m friends with. The thing about those people in my community and I point it out to them as we talk, they’re the same as me and Sun Hee and another friend of mine who is a mom and lives in South Africa.
We are all the same. We all want the same things.
A decent place to live.
Enough to eat.
Some work.
Some leisure.
That’s it folks. All she wrote. Simple stuff. We all want the same because we are all the same.
“Good Friend” saw this piece pretty close to the completion point. It was asked by Good Friend, “What about love?”. I don’t know if we all want love and I’ll take that up elsewhere.
I didn’t set out on this enchanting encounter of mine to tug at heart strings. What we two were talking about, how could it not? It could only not tug the heart at least a little if we aren’t the same.
Hee Sun provided me with her address and she will be receiving a letter from me. There is so much wonderful in a real letter, a hand written letter. Tactile and tangible and on occasion, scented.
Our conversation was worldly and I loved every minute of it. I’m going to tell her so by hand.
I went and had a look at where Hee Sun lives in Korea, Gimpo and it is pronounced, “Kimpo”. If you’re aged enough and were a fan of MASH, you’ve heard that name before.
The first return in the search brought me a bit from a wiki, Gimpo, directly across the Han river is North Korea.
I can’t even fathom living that. Sure I understand the political just fine but I can’t even grasp living with that situation in my backyard.
I will ask Hee Sun in the letter I write her to try and tell me how she feels about living with that threat as she does and I hope she’ll reply. I will be relating and asking other things as well.
Hee Sun told me she plays the guitar and sings. I’m thinking if I ask nicely, perhaps she’ll tell me a musical story.
G.R. Hambley ©
June 19, 2017
transitionu 
Recent Comments