transitionu

Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Category Archives: True Story

You Don’t Hate Me?!

You Don’t Hate Me?!

No, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate anyone.

The title of this piece, “You Don’t Hate Me” is from an individual who asked me if I like them. That after I had said “No” to being asked by that individual if I liked them. I don’t dislike the individual either.

There are a vast number of people I neither like, or dislike. This possibility didn’t figure in to the individual’s equation.

There are a great many people who don’t put all the factors in to their equations.

All those people I’m in indifferent to, I hope they’re having nice lives and are basically happy. People who are having basically happy lives probably aren’t up to stupid shit. I detest stupid shit.

Stupid Shit 02I got a whole lot of healthy indifference for pretty much everyone on the planet. You and me, we’re all the same. You got a whole lot of indifference too. I’m not much for telling people what they should do but in this case, that worldly indifference, so you should.

I’ve also got an interest in meeting and talking to people and not just foreign ones.

I also have a pretty intense dislike for a handful of people walking this rock too. They earned it.

You hate me! I’m good with that and you know what else, I don’t care. I don’t care and you can just carry that hatred load as long as you desire. Hatred is a wasted emotion. Hating only demeans the self.

G.R. Hambley
July 04, 2017

I shot the Ibis a long time ago and you’re welcome to use the meme.

Chronological Order of Postings

Foreign Liaisons

Foreign Liaisons

There are times when a chance encounter will forever stay memorable. Of course this is one of those times or I wouldn’t be telling me about it so I can tell you about it.

A woman and her two daughters took the table beside me late one Sunday afternoon. Mom unknowingly knocked my plug lose from the outlet when she sat down on the long bench we share in this cafe.

“Hee Sun” is the woman’s name and she is a creative. Hee Sun and her daughters are South Korean. I learned this in conversation with mom.

Thus begins a tale of enchanting encounter and wonder.

Apology was made for knocking out the plug. Assurances given that there was no need for sorry and no harm was done.

The lady stands and reseats herself after I’ve returned the plug to the outlet. Where the outlets are in this cafe, decorum demands you either put the plug in for someone or get out of the way. Not doing so could lead to an incident which in this case would have been an international incident and who needs those?!

It’s difficult to not see what is up on someone’s computer when you’re settling yourself in to place. Hey if it were something that private you wouldn’t be working on that something in a cafe.

I had some art and poetry I was working on up on my computer and Mom saw it when she sat back down. Hee Sun asked she me about what she saw.

Doesn’t happen often and I’ve done it myself, commented on something I’ve seen that’s art. Made a couple nice friendships that way but I don’t advise trying it unless you’re a creative. A little understanding and perspective folks. Understanding that there are personable people and that being personable is a good thing is a nice start.

I could have shut off any conversation right quick just be putting my ear buds in. Not like I haven’t done it before and won’t do it again. Sometimes when I got the buds in they’re just in so I don’t have to listen to anything and by anything I also mean anyone.

We start to talk and Hee Sun tells me she has written a children’s book and the illustrations are done by the daughter who is at home in South Korea.

GRH - Hee Book 02.Slice of sliceJPGThe two daughters (I do not know their names) were graduating McGill and Mom had come from South Korea for the girls commencement. They had a few days here in Toronto; then a couple days in Montreal for the exercise and back to Toronto for a few more days.

Choosing Toronto over Montreal to tour, good choice. Toronto is the most cosmopolitan city in the world. Landing here in “Community Mine”, lucky for me and lucky for Mom.

We can have the Toronto vs Montreal debate another time.

So me and she talked. We shared our thoughts about poetry and art. We talked a bit about her two graduating girls. We talked about how we’re all the same.

Sun Hee and me talked for about an hour as the girls amused themselves with their phones. The girls will be staying here and looking for jobs. We talked about that too.

Oh alas, oh woe is me. They’re grown up and they’re staying here and they’ll be so far away from their dear mother. If you’re thinking the lament of this South Korean Mother is the same as a Canadian mother or an American Mother or Jewish Mother, you’d be correct. You’d be correct because we’re all the same.

It wasn’t that extreme but Hee Sun was feeling the separation anxiety.

She read a couple of my poems and a narrative of mine. We went through them together as Hee Sun read aloud. She apologized for English once as she went to one of her daughters for help with better understanding the English through Korean.

Hee Sun showed me the cover of her book on her phone. She said she had one copy at the hotel and would send it to me. You see the book she sent me in the first image.

I mentioned her 3rd daughter did the illustrations for the book and they are terrific. Strangely or maybe not, the mom in the book looks similar to Hee Sun. Maybe it’s just because they have the same hair-do. Nah, it’s deeper than that.

GRH - Hee Book 01.SliceJPGI introduced the lady to John Donne and like so many, she knew Donne without knowing it’s John Donne. I told Hee Sun that I have a good friend who after reading Mr. Donne’s Ye Olde English, decided that any future spelling errors would be attributed to Ye Olde English. The lady smiled at that.

Hee Sun spent a semester at Harvard and did a trail visiting the places of poets renowned in England. She likes the Romance poets and now has another romance poet she likes, me.

I had this conversation a couple weeks ago (June 04, 2017) and I’ve run the encounter past some of those in this “Community Mine” that I’m friends with. The thing about those people in my community and I point it out to them as we talk, they’re the same as me and Sun Hee and another friend of mine who is a mom and lives in South Africa.

We are all the same. We all want the same things.
A decent place to live.
Enough to eat.
Some work.
Some leisure.

That’s it folks. All she wrote. Simple stuff. We all want the same because we are all the same.

“Good Friend” saw this piece pretty close to the completion point. It was asked by Good Friend, “What about love?”. I don’t know if we all want love and I’ll take that up elsewhere.

I didn’t set out on this enchanting encounter of mine to tug at heart strings. What we two were talking about, how could it not? It could only not tug the heart at least a little if we aren’t the same.

Hee Sun provided me with her address and she will be receiving a letter from me. There is so much wonderful in a real letter, a hand written letter. Tactile and tangible and on occasion, scented.

Our conversation was worldly and I loved every minute of it. I’m going to tell her so by hand.

I went and had a look at where Hee Sun lives in Korea, Gimpo and it is pronounced, “Kimpo”. If you’re aged enough and were a fan of MASH, you’ve heard that name before.

The first return in the search brought me a bit from a wiki, Gimpo, directly across the Han river is North Korea.

I can’t even fathom living that. Sure I understand the political just fine but I can’t even grasp living with that situation in my backyard.

I will ask Hee Sun in the letter I write her to try and tell me how she feels about living with that threat as she does and I hope she’ll reply. I will be relating and asking other things as well.

Hee Sun told me she plays the guitar and sings. I’m thinking if I ask nicely, perhaps she’ll tell me a musical story.

G.R. Hambley ©
June 19, 2017

 

 

Save

Save

Save

Heartless – Lyric

Heartless

Lyric

It begins again in confusion
Some kind of grand illusion
Where it ends there’s no real telling
It’ll come without warning
I’ll be gone
leaving you quietly wondering
So why we starting this story?

It carries on in its fashion
Some nights of grand passion
When it ends there’s no real telling
It’ll come some morning
I’ll be gone
leaving you quietly crying
So why we turning this page?

It fails with a head on collision
Some words of persuasion
Why it ends is because it’s suffocating
It’ll come without you ever believing
I’ll be gone
leaving you quietly hating
So why we playing this romance novel?

I’m gone and… you’re crying
I’m gone and… you’re wondering
I’m gone and… you’re hating
I’m gone and… you had the heartless warning

G.R. Hambley ©
May 05, 2017

Toggle It

Toggle It!

I was outside one of my coffee spots. Yes I know, so far not a surprise or funny.

A store a couple of doors down is being remodelled. Two Sprinkler guys are on that site. Now so you know, Sprinkler Guys are Plumbers Lite.

So you’re aware of the degree of mental acuity, plumbers only know 3 things. Breaks are at 10 & 2, payday is on Thursday and Shhhh…. runs downhill. So how much can sprinkler guys know is a valid question except it aint question.

One sprinkler guy is trying to get a short length of 1″ ID pipe out of the van. There is flooring in the van and the pipe is stored under the flooring in different sizes. The flooring has compartments that are long enough to hold full lengths of pipe.

He’s tries one length of threaded rod to fish the pipe out. No Luck. Think trying to pull cotton or a pill out of a bottle with one finger and it keeps getting away. A friction fit. Next, the guy goes the same route but with three lengths of threaded rod. He eventually gets the about 2′ piece of pipe out of the van.

Guy puts a couple things away and says to me as he’s heading to the store, “How we doing”. Now he could see I was amused with his little adventure.

I said to him, “I’d of done that differently”.

He says, “What, drive backwards real fast then hit the brakes!

And I said, “I would of put a toggle bolt on the end of the threaded rod”.

Guy thinks about it for a couple seconds and says, “That’s a good idea”.

My way might not have worked but it sure beats mucking up the threads on the rod(s).

This also illustrates a point I like to make, when you encounter someone, you never know what they have in their repertoire. That person you encounter might just be a smart ass. Or just maybe that person is a smart ass who knows stuff.

I had said nothing to the Sprinkler Guy. Wasn’t pointing and laughing either. When you ask someone a question, if you don’t like the answer given that is your problem and not the problem of the person responding. I cover that in “The Rules of Life”.

We also see the Sprinkler Guy’s character in this. When it didn’t go like he thought it was gonna go, he was gracious and thoughtful. Those are a couple qualities I really like.

I didn’t enlighten him that I am a Tin Smith, Commercial / Industrial Air System primarily. I don’t do it anymore and you know what, I haven’t gotten forgetful or stupid.

A toggle bolt, also known as a butterfly anchor, is a fastener for hanging things on hollow walls such as drywall. Toggle bolts have wings that open inside a hollow wall, bracing against it to hold the fastener securely.

G.R.Hambley
April 13, 2017

Haunting Her – Lyric

Haunting Her

Lyric

Unseen she stepped inside
Know it’s her by the steps
She stares straight ahead
Her face kept firmly set

Padding past the tables
Moving straight on through
Glassy eyes somewhere far
Waiting her turn in Queue

Hear her talking at the till
Voice that completely engulfs
She’s lets out a little laugh
Sees me talking to myself

          What’s got you lady blue
          Where are you so far away
          Won’t you sit for just a few

Coming back round again
Know she’s seeing everything
Always a table just for you
On her own with what’s disturbing

See her reflection in the glass
Does she know what they took
Lady blue where’s your spark
Had to see my wondering look

Leaving quietly like she came
There’s no smiles or waves
If I could tell you what I see
Only lonely as she leaves

          What’s got you lady blue
          Where are you so far away
          Couldn’t you of sit for just a few

G.R. Hambley ©
April 04, 2017

Pen Pals

Pen Pals

I was surprised this morning

Note 001

A gift from a friend

Note 001a

A damn fine pen that I shall cherish and use in my indomitable way

G.R. Hambley April 05, 2017

Lost And Found – Lyric

Lost And Found

Lyric

The times wearing me on down
no time for any little thing
Sprung from the trap you set
gonna take the fast road back
Minds been made up for days
not giving explanations
Packed for the morning run
stalking off down ninety-five

          Lost and found, then on the run again
          Lost and found, then given up on again
          Lost and found, then lost again and again

Wondering how I’d let things go so far
why I hadn’t told you so sooner
Won’t ever regret calling your truth
washed your living lie off me
You said you gave all your heart
lie was that you gave it to me
Found your first love on my time
no denying the worst no one needs

          Lost and found, then on the run again
          Lost and found, then given up on again
          Lost and found, then lost again and again

Turning the key brings freedoms sweet roar
highway companion on the ready road
Salt fresh air and a see nothing stare
throwing all your words to the wind
Looking for where hell met heaven
a day the sun kissed the moon
Miles clicking by at an alarming rate
one more hour and this heart can’t wait

          Lost and found, hearts running again
          Lost and found, hearts not giving up again
          Lost and found, heart’s alive and loving again

G.R. Hambley ©
March 10, 2017

Throw A Faggot On The Fire This New Year!

Throw A Faggot On The Fire This New Year!

The day of and or night and or maybe even the new year already depending where you are in the moment on this planet. To the other PPL (porifera planetary life) who may be looking to soak up knowledge, happy existence!

You can close your mouth now cuz I’m going to explain the title and a few other things as well.

On the morning of the 30th I heard a Gay man say to two other Gay men, “Enjoy your faggots”. Please make sure you processed what I wrote correctly. It was, “Your” and not, “You”.

I put one hand on hip, finger wagging the other and I gave the person who said it a couple, “Oh no you didn’t” lines. It was a perfect portrayal of the Black woman who gave me the, “Oh no you didn’t” a couple weeks back. I’ll get to it.

Me and that Gay man started talking about the word Faggot and I told him the first place I encountered that word. It was in a haunted castle ghost story. I was in grade 3 or 4 at the time. I’ll save you the trouble of looking it up. There are 2 definitions in my thesaurus for the use of “Faggot” as a noun; “a bundle of sticks and branches bound together” is one and the derogatory remark is the other. The hero in the story was talking to the ghost when the throwing faggots on the fire statement was made.

There was a time and I hadn’t heard it used for a very long time before today when cigarettes were referred to as faggots or fags.

We talked a little bit and I made my point emphatically that words are not bad. Words are wonderful and you know this, it’s what gets done with the words by people that make it ugly.

That Gay man went on tell me, the flaming hetero in this story about his reading “Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland” and trying to wrap his head around the frequent use of “Queer”. He went on to say he’d only ever known the word queer as how it is applied to Gay people before reading that book.

I bounce my stuff off one person as the piece is in process. I’m told by that person they also know the term, “Flaming Hetero” to be not homophobic, but hateful towards Gays. My use of the term is the same as my previous uses, fashion sensible.

I called that Black Woman the “C” word. I can’t believe she went all indignant on me! How many of you thought I’d say uppity? How many were hoping I’d use uppity as the descriptor? I even proved what I called her was correct by her own words, “Conservative”. The look on her face when I explained my reasoning for saying such a despicable, dastardly thing to her, a thing of beauty!

That black woman and I are friendly. We like each other. We are part of the same community. We see each other from time to time and always enjoy the shared company and conversation. We don’t always agree either.

We are both progressive and we are both conservative. Both of us can use all the words and appreciate the ability to use all the words. We know multiple meanings for some of the words too. In other words, we’re literate and literal.

If some of the head in phone sexting and gossiping set actually read and understood words, we’d all be better off. Right bae? Don’t look to me for spelling; I actually use the word “Babe” or “Baby” when that is what I mean. Terribly old school and insensitive I know, and yet, I just don’t care and use them anyway.

Just the thought of Dylan’s, “Baby Stop Crying” as “Bae Stop Cry”, phhh…..inish my thought. You’ll quite probably be correct even if it isn’t politically correct.

I do not tolerate the Liberal PC Set screwing with language. I will not tolerate that same Liberal holier than thou PC Set telling me about diversity and harmony. I live it, as the others in this community live it.

The community is eclectic and we like it that way. There is affluence and poverty and colour and same sex orientation and different positions on faith and we all get along quite nicely. No, we are not holding hands and singing Kumbaya as the homogenized all inclusive no diversity Liberal proles in the making set would like. We like it that way too because we also respect and appreciate that we are all different.

I can’t remember exactly where I saw it a couple weeks back but some Liberal (or moron) wanted to keep multilingualism with globalization. Why is it everyone but big “L” Liberals sees the problem with multilingualism in a global village? Those big “L” Liberals don’t see the problem because their stunted means of communication is all everyone needs and if you don’t believe it just ask them.

Words and communicating are one of those critical imperatives for everyone. How do I know this? Because like those of the RITE who think they’re right, I know because I’m never wrong.

Enjoy your New Year Eve, how ever you choose to spend it. May 2017 be kinder to us all than 2016 was and may your fire never be without faggots!

G.R. Hambley ©
December 31, 2016

A Lady’s Dignity

A Lady’s Dignity

I’ve been meaning to write this up for a long while. This is a how to on getting in to the back seat of a car on a busy street when accompanied by a woman who’s wearing a short skirt or dress.

Let’s be real clear about me; I aint no gentleman. Never have been and never will be a gentleman. I am considerate and understanding. I have definitive ideas about how to look out for a woman I’m with and I said so in, “Escorting A Lady Through A Door”.

Guys if it’s your first date, you’re going to score big points with the lady you’re with by doing this. Hell, even if she aint wearing a short thing do this and you’ll still score big points with the girl!

I have just been outside one of my coffee spots. I’ve seen this take place so many times where the guy didn’t know how to do it and the woman wasn’t pleased. The woman wasn’t pleased to have been sliding across the back seat. It’s a journey for the woman of making sure there is no discovery of Treasure Island.

The tell tale duality that is the look of disgust and discomfort that only a woman can convey.

Guys, we too can do that look; just not anywhere near as good as the ladies! A thing of true amusement as long as that look isn’t directed at you. Unfortunately for the lady in the current event, the guy was sky gazing and didn’t see the look she was giving. From the look on the woman’s face, she knew the right way to go about this adventure and the guy was going to hear about it.

I can’t even feel for sorry my fellow man in this case. Well I did have a tiny bit of empathy for him as I was thinking, “you poor bastard, you’re gonna be hearing about this”! That was probably more of an autonomic guy response than real empathy cuz I was smiggling* at the time. Smiggling, someone has to make up words and I’m good at it!

The Uber had pulled up and our not such a hero opens the back door. He points for the woman to get in. She looks at him for a second and then does so. The lady has to turn sideways so her back is to the other door and then slide along the seat while trying to keep her dress from riding up and giving the driver a nice rear view mirror peep show. Our hero gets in, closes the door and off they go.

This is the correct way on a busy street where you can’t walk around to the other side of the car after seating the lady and closing her door.

When the car pulls up you get in first. Go about mid way across the seat so you can reach the door to close it after the woman gets in. If there is dust and dirt on the seat, it’s now on you and not on her pretty dress or skirt.

When the lady seats herself you lean across her and close the door.

There are a few benefits from doing it this way you may not have considered. If you put the arm not closing the door up on the back of the seat around the woman for balance, you can just leave your arm there after closing the door. You could put that free hand on the ladies thigh for balance and if you’re closer in acquaintance, give that thigh a little squeeze. Let her know you like! If nothing else you’ve presented your cheek for a kiss for being so gallant!

You’ve also protected the lady’s dignity and I happen to think that deserves a kiss!

If the lady hasn’t recognized what you have done for her, In the interest of equality you good Sir are now free to tell her about it!

And what did I see of our heroine in this little adventure I’ve related? If I told you what I saw, just what kind of a protector would I be? The answer is always nothing. I saw nothing but her face.

Try this if you need a smile in the moment.

G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2016

*Smiggle is my own word – combined smirk and giggle
*Smiggling – combined smirking and giggling

Mystical

Mystical

Long look provocative legs below her always stylish short dress
Always looking straight ahead, seeing everything and nothing
Day begins for her the same way the day ends, coffee for one
You’ll never forget her face should she pause to smile at you
Does the fire in her heart match the confidence of her walk

Reticence may very well be the armour worn to veil loneliness
Attributes visible that so many would care to have as their own
Gone before she’s been there long enough to see behind her eyes
One looking sees the flashes of the mind below her shining mane
Nearer, clearer, word exchanges become laughter, a cheek kissed

G.R. Hambley ©
July 01, 2016

Chronological Posting List