A Lady’s Dignity
I’ve been meaning to write this up for a long while. This is a how to on getting in to the back seat of a car on a busy street when accompanied by a woman who’s wearing a short skirt or dress.
Let’s be real clear about me; I aint no gentleman. Never have been and never will be a gentleman. I am considerate and understanding. I have definitive ideas about how to look out for a woman I’m with and I said so in, “Escorting A Lady Through A Door”.
Guys if it’s your first date, you’re going to score big points with the lady you’re with by doing this. Hell, even if she aint wearing a short thing do this and you’ll still score big points with the girl!
I have just been outside one of my coffee spots. I’ve seen this take place so many times where the guy didn’t know how to do it and the woman wasn’t pleased. The woman wasn’t pleased to have been sliding across the back seat. It’s a journey for the woman of making sure there is no discovery of Treasure Island.
The tell tale duality that is the look of disgust and discomfort that only a woman can convey.
Guys, we too can do that look; just not anywhere near as good as the ladies! A thing of true amusement as long as that look isn’t directed at you. Unfortunately for the lady in the current event, the guy was sky gazing and didn’t see the look she was giving. From the look on the woman’s face, she knew the right way to go about this adventure and the guy was going to hear about it.
I can’t even feel for sorry my fellow man in this case. Well I did have a tiny bit of empathy for him as I was thinking, “you poor bastard, you’re gonna be hearing about this”! That was probably more of an autonomic guy response than real empathy cuz I was smiggling* at the time. Smiggling, someone has to make up words and I’m good at it!
The Uber had pulled up and our not such a hero opens the back door. He points for the woman to get in. She looks at him for a second and then does so. The lady has to turn sideways so her back is to the other door and then slide along the seat while trying to keep her dress from riding up and giving the driver a nice rear view mirror peep show. Our hero gets in, closes the door and off they go.
This is the correct way on a busy street where you can’t walk around to the other side of the car after seating the lady and closing her door.
When the car pulls up you get in first. Go about mid way across the seat so you can reach the door to close it after the woman gets in. If there is dust and dirt on the seat, it’s now on you and not on her pretty dress or skirt.
When the lady seats herself you lean across her and close the door.
There are a few benefits from doing it this way you may not have considered. If you put the arm not closing the door up on the back of the seat around the woman for balance, you can just leave your arm there after closing the door. You could put that free hand on the ladies thigh for balance and if you’re closer in acquaintance, give that thigh a little squeeze. Let her know you like! If nothing else you’ve presented your cheek for a kiss for being so gallant!
You’ve also protected the lady’s dignity and I happen to think that deserves a kiss!
If the lady hasn’t recognized what you have done for her, In the interest of equality you good Sir are now free to tell her about it!
And what did I see of our heroine in this little adventure I’ve related? If I told you what I saw, just what kind of a protector would I be? The answer is always nothing. I saw nothing but her face.
Try this if you need a smile in the moment.
G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2016
*Smiggle is my own word – combined smirk and giggle
*Smiggling – combined smirking and giggling