transitionu

Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Tag Archives: Emotional Control

Supporting the Causes

Supporting the Causes

Yesterday was April 30th, the end of “Testicular Cancer Awareness Month”.

Also yesterday, I was asked to put an 8 Ball emoji on my FB page for “Prostrate Cancer Awareness”.

I told the individual that asked I wasn’t saying no but I’d have something to say on the subject.

I don’t like to override myself. I like to give my postings 3 or 4 days before putting up something new. Exceptions to the rule and rule carefully those exceptions. I got a personal beaut too.

Causes, we all have them and most people are of the mind that their cause is the cause everyone should get behind. If you aren’t on board with them then you’re some kind of something they can stick a label on.

In my travels through April I saw no mention of what April represented on the cancer frontline. I’m talking about usual moving around in the core of my city. No special deals with a percentage going to research for testicular cancer. I got my face in a knot over this lack of male consideration in a piece I wrote about opting out on pink in October.

I was enlightened by a member of my community that one of those major entities I note in the no pink for me has changed the way they do things. This would also be a lesson in being at the least personable, and even better outgoing within your community. You do meet some terrific people.

I don’t know how far reaching the cancer campaign for, “Lady Balls” was. For the uninitiated, Lady Balls are ovaries. That was the crux of the campaign, ladies got balls. Appealing to those feminists sans vagina and FemiNazis everywhere no doubt. Pissing off more than a few along the way with the approach too.

Someone close to me went to Ovarian cancer. I know what it’s about. I can even use the real words that represent the condition. I also happen to believe you shouldn’t be cute when it comes to health matters. That doesn’t mean you should be brutal either.

We in the 1st world are pushed at electronically on a daily basis. Push technology assaulting us when we the people want pull technology. No one likes being pushed.

Showing what cause(s) you’re behind is a good thing. Showing and telling people in your own space where they can learn more about or support the cause, also a good thing. Quietly asking someone for a hand for your cause as was the case with my being asked to post the 8 Ball, another good thing.

In the moment I have my own causes to consider and the things I need to do to be done.

Sorry man, the emoji is out, hope this will suffice.

8 Ball 01

G.R. Hambley May 1st, 2017

Spinsters – Lyric

Spinsters

Lyric

Spinsters Fini 01

What you’re seeing is the font I write in. I’ve never been enamoured  with the formatting options here at WP so on occasion, I work around the lack of options.

Spinsters

Stories making the rounds
none to be believed
none to be trusted
careful not to get busted

Those new age spinsters
dishing up their gospel
dishing up who’s in hospital
careful not to go to hell

Telling you what you should
dirt found on every track
dirt found in every attack
careful not to take it in the back

got yourself busted
took yourself to hell
won’t be coming back
Spinning hucksters wheel going round and round
Running freedom down in to the ground

Round and round…

Down in to the ground…

Going to take more than a frown…

Spew in streaming sensaround
feel that whole mind invasion
feel that total frustration
mold to fit the compilation

Spoon feeding the grand plan
using grins from ear to ear
using anything that will adhere
mold never stops injecting fear

Making the conscious beginning
listen to that self interested person
listen to that warning of treason
mold resolve to your reason

turn your dial to decompile
take hold of your fear
fill your head with reason
Spinning hucksters wheel going round and round
Running freedom down in to the ground

Round and round…

Down in to the ground…

Going to take more than a frown…

G.R. Hambley ©
April 22, 2017

No More Yesterday’s – Lyric

No More Yesterday’s

(Lyric)

There were those who’d gone ahead
Learned the ropes and roads and dread
Some came and shared their mind
Others struggled and suffered and died
No one ever got out completely alive

Time hasn’t healed all our wounds
Easier now standing dressed and proud
Told the only way to win was not to play
Left choices to those we entrusted our fate
Now freedom calls us to shine another day

          Can’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Won’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Already lived your yesterdays

So few right and too many wrong plans
Time has come to make another stand
Not going to wear the dreams they drape
Can’t let them drain us to fill their grail
This trip around no one is going to escape

There’s a new train leaving the station
Going to be a change in world relation
Angry faces with voices of dispute
None wanting freedom will be left out
Finally freed from their absolutes

          Can’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Won’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Already lived your yesterdays

G.R. Hambley ©
January 17, 2017

Flammables

Flammables

Sir; I implore thee pay heed to that of which I bring you notice
Harkin I say, lend thy ear, give grace with quiescent presence
Overt displays, set them firmly beneath still feet lest they escape
Resultant of behaviours, yours, none with consideration shall tolerate
Talk of the cheapest nature makes cause for concern, draws ire out

Fidgeting mind exposed, given away by the motion of thine eyes
Understanding others doth lend insight to understanding thy self
Such consideration gifted thee; yet still righteous certainty remains
Each and every belligerent, arrogant, ignorant utterance so noted Sir
Due you by invitation, from me with malice aforethought, comeuppance

G.R. Hambley ©
April 17, 2016

Chronological Listing

Equal Perspective Please

Equal Perspective Please

Equal Perspective Li

I wasn’t sure on which of my two spots to bring something like this out on. I brought it here because this is about equality and behaviour. Equality in behaviour might be a more apt way to phrase. I haven’t seen much in the way of equality from women and that troubles me greatly because women say that is what they really want, equality. Maybe that position by women is just for show.

Toronto Star, March 26, 2016 – Trial Proves One Thing

It would be beneficial to read the story from “The Star” before continuing on with my piece. The greatest part of what I wrote is in response to the Star story by Catherine Porter.

The events of this trial as it took place spurred highly emotional responses. Not always a bad thing but on this topic and the way it went, checking the tude, and the gender bias would have been a damn good thing for many to do!

You can read two others stories I’ve placed links to at the end.

The bottom line and I’ll give it to you now is this; What took place on the stand led directly to the result.

And I said in response to the story:

Someone has to take the hard line opposite side so I’ll do it. That would be equal treatment.

A real nice one way slant in the Star’s story. Yes, lip service to the male perspective. This piece is written by what can only be a man hating Feminist.

Tell me, how is someone a creep when they’ve admitted prior they like rough? Might not be to the taste of the majority but that doesn’t make someone who practices such a creep. Ever hear of, “Erotic Asphyxia”? While you’re at it have a look at, “Autoerotic Asphyxiation”, maybe try it out!

Tell me, are women (or men) incapable of asking what exactly someone means by rough or only capable of unintelligible cooing?

Tell me, what kind of woman seeks out a man who’s admitted to his tastes, encounters those tastes, reportedly didn’t like it and then goes back? There is no “Stockholm Syndrome” here. No one was held captive.

What I see in this is that every one of those women wanted to land the guy for their own interests after the incident. Men have a few words for women like them but let’s just go with, “Gold Digger”.

Tell me, who doesn’t know that the defence is going to do its job in court? Maybe a woman running on the “boo hoo I can say anything I want and I’m entitled to different treatment” plan?

Tell me, how are these women not responsible for their own slaughter in the court?

Tell me, why shouldn’t the colluding, conniving lying DeCoutere apologize for the damage done? With DeCoutere we know what she did from evidence. What she and the others did made it easy for the defendant not to take the stand. I haven’t seen any women condemning that action.

Tell me, should these women be prosecuted for colluding and contriving to send someone to jail?

Far from perfect is one thing. Colluding, conniving and lying are something entirely different! I’m not seeing a whole hell of a lot of condemnation by women for what those women did. Well then it must be okay by those women who don’t condemn the action for women to conduct themselves in such a manner.

Don’t recall perfectly the traumatic event? I’ve had a few in my life and let me tell you, like most people, I remember that painful more than a good number of pleasurable!

As for the civil route, we’ve seen it in an instance of extreme assault, O.J. Simpson. Most think a whole lot of truth didn’t come out in that endeavour.

Tell me, how is it anyone would be happy for a battle after the war had been lost? Maybe because of some Feminist belief they should just be given everything they want because a man was involved?

Tell me, is it any wonder there is a nasty connotation tied to, “Feminist” that both men and some women just abhor? Look it up.

Tell me, who are the creeps? The women for what they did, or the man who we didn’t have to hear from because of their creepy actions?

Try being an equalist, it works best, especially so in a court of law.

G.R. Hambley March 26, 2015
All rights reserved

The photograph you see was a gift to me for me to use as I see fit from a very good friend, a woman in South Africa. My friend took the shot at Robben Island. The photograph is Madiba’s cell. My piece is about injustice and equality so you’re damn right this photograph fits!

A couple other stories for your reading displeasure, I hope.

Toronto Sun verdict: Poll

National Post
Ghomeshi guide for reporting your sexual assault

Chronological Posting List

Quoth Me #15 – The Books

Quoth Me #15 – The Books

What all religions must learn is their book is man made and not heaven sent. You are ordered by God to give up your respective books and get on with peaceful humanity.

God is busy painting a universe and expects those on this insignificant fly speck of the universal canvas to manage themselves.

Not working out real well is it. Not a question.

I make no secret of being nondenominational.

I make it known widely that I am spiritual.

“We” see Christianity under attack. “We” see Islam under attack. “We” see Judaism under attack. Why they are under attack is not a surprise to the spiritual and the nondenominational. They are under attack for their imposition. Imposition of will is going to have repercussion and is not a surprise.

“We” is me and God.

How do I know that is what God said? For the same reason I know there is God. I proved it. God appreciated me proving it and on occasion will talk to me.

The burden is on you to disprove God talks to me. If nothing else it’ll keep y’all busy for an ungodly amount of time and away from doing stupid shit to each other!

G.R. Hambley – all rights reserved
January 11, 2016

I saw this story January 24, 2016, it is a good poignant piece.
Fundamentalist Religion Will Destroy The World

Thank You Amazon

Thank You Amazon

I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time with this.

Amazon is selling a fiction novel written by Canadian Serial Killer Paul Benardo.

Canada has, “From avails of crime” laws. Good ones. You can rest assured this book came under close scrutiny from Corrections Canada.

Amazon is taking heat for selling that book and from what I know of the process to sell a book on Amazon this is blatantly unfair. It is also just plain wrong and short sighted.

I’d been thinking of doing this little piece before I received the email (below) that I did from change dot org asking me to sign a petition to stop Amazon from selling the book.

I will not be signing that petition!

I will not be buying the book!

What is really scary about that petition is that it was instigated by “NEWSTALK 1010 CFRB Toronto
Canada“. They should know better! They should know why going after Amazon to stop sales is wrong!

There is a News Paper in my feed that in their politcal coverage I consider to be nothing more than propaganda page looking to set public opinion as they see it. I am not giving up that feed because I care to know just what the hell they’re saying.

Amazon, as I understand it allows anyone to publish. Someone who has experience publishing to Amazon by all means jump in!

I happen to believe that the policy if that is indeed the case is terrific.

Like the news paper and that radio station, I want to be able to see and I know others do to, just what is being published and by whom so we all know what thoughts, ideas and beliefs that could harm us are being extolled in print.

So thank you Amazon for doing the right thing and keep up the good work!

G.R. Hambley – all rights reserved

~.~.~.~.~

EMAIL RECEIVED ASKING TO SIGN PETITION

Convicted Canadian killer Paul Bernardo has released an eBook, and is selling it online.

The book is called ‘A MAD World Order’ and has been on sale since the end of June.

Paul Bernardo has been convicted of two first-degree murder offenses and two aggravated sexual assault offenses in the mid 1990s.

We believe Amazon and Paul Bernardo should not be allowed to profit in any way from the sale of this book and that the book should be removed from Amazon’s listings.

Read the FULL STORY here.

Consider The Elves

Consider The Elves

And consider others too

I thought of posting this on SPASM and decided against it because as unflappable as I am, I’m human too. There are things that others do that make me want to go off on them for their behaviour(s). I made the decision rather quickly to bring this piece here to the transitionu blog.

I’m a people too people and as a people please keep in mind this quote I saw and wished I’d written; “Don’t mistake my attitude for my personality. My personality is what I am. My attitude depends on what you are.”

I’m on real good terms with the elves at my coffee spots. They take good care of me and I am very considerate of them. My consideration extends to talking with the elves singularly on occasion as they know I am a Life Coach.

I also like to write and believe it or not, have coffee at my coffee spots. My coffee spots are not only functional, they are observational. I see the crap that frustrates the elves. I don’t blame them one damn bit and often wonder how they manage to be as gracious as they are.

The elves have shared their feelings with me on occasion and I decided to write about some of the things that frustrate them no end.

You see an elf, any of the fine service elves for that matter and you encounter agitation, try being a good and compassionate customer and see where that gets you. Maybe that dumb ass a couple of spots in front of you did something really over the top. If you smile and say, “having a tough one?” the elf generally comes down and appreciates that someone noticed.

As an illustration I’ll use an instance I was involved in. The elf is talking to me and the dumb ass beside me who had ear buds in, figured the elf was talking to them. This individual wasn’t pleased. After all they had to stop looking at the dam device and take one of the buds out. I admit that was quite the inconvenience! Having to actually pay the hell attention to what you’re doing is a terrible burden.

Poor elf has to tell the dumb ass she wasn’t talking to them and felt obliged to apologize to me. The look the elf got from the dumb ass wasn’t pleasant.

Dumb ass is lucky the elf interjected because I would of went off on them. Yes I will give you a dressing down if your behaviour causes unpleasantness for me for those that are unable to retort. I’m not afraid to confront those that are completely wrapped up in themselves and by consequence, treating others without consideration.

The coffee spots I go to are not restaurants. It is not take a seat and receive full service with someone to wait on you. Most of the people they serve are on a walk through. Just like a drive through but on foot.

FYI, those spots aren’t phone booths for you to duck in to off a noisy street either. Just so you know, if I could of found the nattering fools spouse, I’d of told them what I heard for subjecting me to their yapping!

To show you without question just how much the coffee spots I go to are not restaurants, you can’t get horse radish mayo for the beef brisket sandwich or mustard for the damn pretzel. I am so not pleased! But, that displeasure is an argument for a different place!

There is the odd person that has no idea on how to conduct themselves in a line up. I don’t care if all you want is something simple and straight up. The elves don’t care what you want either. The elves and me and the other people in line care about getting served in turn. Wait your damn turn and shut the hell up. The elves don’t need the abuse of the entitled who figure their time is more important than any other person’s time!

I and others do not want to listen to your entitled whining. There are some who will tell you about it when you’re misbehaving. I’m one of those that will.

Some customers stay and make use of the establishment after getting whatever it was they wanted from the walk through. Most are good about putting their waste in the garbage cans but there are a few that leave their shit behind when they leave.

I’m not a frequent user of fast food establishments but it seems every time I’ve gone in to one some self centred slob has left their garbage behind on a table. This not only bugs the elves of that establishment, it bugs me too. I really resent having to clean some thoughtless and selfish slob’s garbage off a table to use it.

The elves at these establishments aren’t real thrilled about having to clean up the crap that should of been disposed of by the customer either. I’ve seen food scraps, newspapers, lipstick tubes, business cards, coffee cups that are half filled, soiled napkins, product packaging and not from the establishment I’m in to name some.

Clean up after yourself and if you can’t do that go eat at home and leave the shit wear ever you like so I and others don’t have to clean up after your lazy dumb ass.

Next time you encounter an agitated elf, consider just maybe the elf had to be off doing something they shouldn’t have needed to do. Off doing because some thoughtless dumb ass customer with an inflated sense of entitlement didn’t pick up after themselves!

The elves of the establishments are neither indentured servants or slaves. My time is more valuable to me than your time is to me. Kindly remember these facts and govern yourself accordingly.

Just one more thing, you were in the line. You passed the display case and saw the menu boards. Have your damn mind made up when you get to the front of the line. As a general rule of thumb, you got about 30 seconds to make up your damn mind if you haven’t done so already before people behind you start getting antsy when you get to the front of the line. This living a film scene repeatedly will somewhere, sometime, cause someone behind you to ream your dumb ass and you’ll deserve it!

Gary Hambley

Certified Professional Coach
Sometimes I’m a human being. Sometimes I’m a human doing.
I’m always humane unless you put me in a position where I have to be something else.

Argument Responses

Argument Responses To “Gottman’s Repair Checklist”

The first thing I want to touch on for those reading this is that a fight and an argument are not the same thing. Fighting for our purposes here is verbal and not physical.

Fights and arguments have different purposes. Argument can lead in to a fight if those in the argument escalate the matter. It takes two and both sides have to be willing for a fight to take place. If you walk away there will be no fight. You just have to have the courage to not engage the taunting.

I argue a couple of times a week. I make my arguments on a point. The person I’m in conversation with makes their argument on a point. We listen to each other and form our own conclusions. All of that without screaming, yelling and name calling.

I was poking around at Linked in and saw an image posted of the Gottman Repair Checklist. This is what the individual that made the post said with the image, “Word to say to help mend and improve your relationships #lovemaps #relationshiphelp”.

That short sentence and the chart was the extent of the posting. I found the posting to be insufficient and drew my own conclusion as to the purpose of posting the chart with no other information. Yes I get it that someone was trying to drive traffic with the hash tags.

This is what I said as a comment on the posting along with leaving a video link which is at the end of this piece.
“But don’t you love it on those occasions when life so succinctly imitates art?”

I made the comment I did because to my mind the posting as it sat was just ridiculous! You read that list and start thinking of answers and it doesn’t take long to start going smart ass with your response thoughts. Fortunately we don’t have thought crimes. What I saw was thoughtless and should be a crime!

I am thoughtful, considerate and very well spoken. I am also completely sick of the drivel aimed at the completely thoughtless and those using the 3 D’s* to diffuse an argument or a problem. The 3 D’s are “Deny, Defer and Deflect”. I see occurrences of the 3 D’s all over the Gottman list because I was unable to find responses to the statements that are made in the Checklist.

I have made responses to the statements. All of us are going to have some response to the statement being made. It is normal and natural to have and give a response.

Dear readers so you know, I went looking for more references to the Gottman List and ran in to attempts to sell me the list as well as a spin on, “The Four Horseman Of The Apocalypse”. I did see the list should be hung up around the home and office to improve relationships.

Those who have followed me know I have done a fair amount with relationships in a good number of the pieces I’ve written.

After a few attempts to delve deeper without hitting a sales pitch I just said to myself, “screw it” and moved on. I haven’t included the name of individual that made the posting and from what I saw in my searches, and while I do not know for certain, I just might be saving them from infringement issues.

The bottom line is that when you have a problem you have to find a way to communicate and resolve the problem as quickly as possible so feelings don’t fester. No list can do that for you.

As a rule, you have to figure out how to speak with every person in your life you have a relationship with. I will tell you honestly that I talk to everybody the same but different!

I have added one response to each statement made and have tried to stay within what I see the section header portraying.

The “Gottman Repair Checklist follows the video.

Asshole is a unique word

Gottman Repair Checklist

I Feel

1.    I’m getting scared.
Most reasonable people do get scared when they get called on it for what you messed up.

2.    Please say that more gently.
Not possible and still be able to convey just how badly you messed up.

3.    Did I do something wrong?
Ya think?

4.    That hurt my feelings.
You might have wanted to think about the repercussion before you pulled that stunt!

5.    That felt like an insult.
It wasn’t an insult it was a relevant comment on your ability as it pertains to how and what you so badly screwed up.

6.    I’m feeling sad.
Is that feeling because of the ramifications of what you did or because you got called on it?

7.    I feel blamed. Can you rephrase that?
I could rephrase if you weren’t being blamed. Then were you not to blame we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all!

8.    I’m feeling unappreciated.
It would have been appreciated if you’d just left alone what you’re incapable of.

9.    I feel defensive. Can you rephrase that?
See if you can feel responsible and contrite.

10.  Please don’t lecture me.
Well somebody has to and I got stuck with it!

11.  I don’t feel like you understand me right now.
I understand just fine and I got stupid when?

12.  Sounds like it’s all my fault.
Finally, we’re making progress!

13.  I feel criticized. Can you rephrase that?
Halleluiah, the progress continues and no I will not rephrase.

14.  I’m getting worried.
Really? REALLY! You’re just getting worried now?

15.  Please don’t withdraw.
This isn’t over. In the moment it is best that I take a break.

 

 

I Need To Calm Down

1.    Can you make things safer for me?

No. I cannot guarantee the relationship is going to continue.

2.    I need things to be calmer right now.
You need to let me express without trying to manipulate or control.

3.    I need your support right now.
Just what do you think I’m doing by being here and having this conversation?

4.    Just listen to me right now and try to understand.
I have been listening to you and now you’ve moved to being emotionally controlling.

5.    Tell me you love me.
You love me.

6.    Can I have a kiss?
No and again with emotionally controlling.

7.    Can I take that back?
No you cannot take it back but it will be forgiven.

8.    Please be gentler with me.
Were I any gentler a feather would knock you over.

9.    Please help me calm down.
That is what I have been doing and thank you for not noticing.

10.  Please be quiet and listen to me.
Are you saying this is not be a discussion but a monologue?

11.  This is important to me. Please listen.
I have been listening but again you refuse to give credence to what I’m saying in reply.

12.  I need to finish what I was saying.
No what you’re saying is you need time to figure out a new spin on what you’ve been saying all along.

13.  I am starting to feel flooded.
Perhaps if you worked on your listening and acceptance skills you wouldn’t feel that way.

14.  Can we take a break?
If you must but I prefer to resolve the matter now and not later.

15.  Can we talk about something else for a while?
No. This matter needs immediate resolution.

Sorry

1.    My reactions were to extreme. Sorry.
Yes they were and thank you.

2.    I really blew that one.
Agreed.

3.    Let me try again.
I’m undecided.

4.    I want to be gentler to you right now and I don’t know how.
I suggest behaving like a big person and not carrying on loudly or in anger.

5.    Tell me what you hear me saying.
Now that is something I can get behind and thank you!

6.    I can see my part in all this.
And what part do you see for yourself in this?

7.    How can I make things better?
Repair the damage done if possible and pay better attention in the future.

8.    Let’s try that one over again.
You may rephrase if you care to but I see absolutely no reason for a do over.

9.    What you are saying is…..
That is correct here….. close here…. and incorrect here….

10.  Let me start again in a softer way.
Rephrasing is fine but the hard edge never should of been there to begin with.

11.  I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
I don’t know if I can on this one.

Stop Action

1.    I might be wrong here.
There is no might and this is why.

2.    Please let’s stop for a while.
Define a while.

3.    Let’s take a break.
For how long? Because I want this resolved now!

4.    Give me a moment. I’ll be back.
If there isn’t fire, blood or a real need for the commode don’t go anywhere.

5.    I’m feeling flooded.
There has been a lot to absorb care to take 10 minutes away?

6.    Please stop.
Why are you asking to stop?

7.    Let’s agree to disagree here.
No.

8.    Let’s start all over again.
Not possible. It never is possible because things just do not work that way.

9.    Hang in there. Don’t withdraw.
Pausing to form what I care to say next in not withdrawal.

10.  I want to change the topic.
I don’t because letting this fester will only lead to greater hardship.

11.  We are getting off track.
In your opinion and I disagree and this is why.

Get To Yes

1.    You’re starting to convince me.
Good.

2.    I agree with part of what you’re saying.
Which part?

3.    Let’s compromise here.
I see no way to compromise on this one.

4.    Let’s find our common ground.
Did you listen to what I said about compromise?

5.    I never thought of things that way.
Had you asked when you were stuck instead of trying to

6.    This problem is not very serious in the big picture.
To the picture in your mind not mine.

7.    I think your point of view makes sense.
Good and thank you

8.    Let’s agree to include both our views in a solution.
I already said compromise on this matter was not possible no stop asking because you’re making me angry.

I Appreciate

1.    I know this isn’t your fault.
I’m not seeing your point.

2.    My part of this problem is…
You acted in a manner that you never should have and do know better.

3.    I see your point.
Good.

4.    Thank you for…
You are welcome.

5.    That’s a good point.
Thank you for noticing.

6.    We are both saying…
Do not make statement for me! Now if you want to say I think this is what we are both saying that is okay.

7.    I understand.
Tell me what you understand.

8.    I love you.
I know and I love you and love doesn’t change the issue.

9.    I am thankful for…
I appreciate knowing that.

10.  One thing I admire about you is…
Thank you.

11.  I see what you’re talking about.
Tell me then what I’m talking about.

12.  This is not your problem, it’s OUR problem.
This is a problem for both of us because of what you did.

One Night

ONE NIGHT

This piece requires a description in to the mindset of me your presenter and an existing double standard. I’m a proponent of equality. Applying among other things, standards equally to both men and women.

I’ve had these. I wasn’t alone when I had them. The standard that is applied to me the man is different than what is applied to my companion, the woman. That to my mind is wrong.

I am neither condoning or condemning the act. The act happens and whether you partake or not in such is personal choice, for both men and women. I can’t comment on the mindset of this encounter in those that are same sex oriented because I just don’t know how the action is viewed.

Recently one morning a woman come in to one of my favourite coffee spots. She was getting her coffee among other things. She looked at me and knew I knew. I knew what the look on her face was saying.

We all know how when spoken of, the act is applied to a man. We don’t need to drag out the descriptions here.

The act has been described as applied to a woman as, “The Walk Of Shame”. I do not like that. I also see that description as a form of emotional control and I like that even less!

This happened. It is real. If it went as I write in the first stanza, don’t know. It did go as I write in the second stanza.

One Night

Slipping out, stepping in to last night’s silk
Tussled hair, sleepless eyes in a makeup mirror
Reaching in for lipstick, pulling out yesterday’s lace
Ankle straps hung like a gunslingers belt
Passing view, wondering when you’ll see you
Pausing, blowing a kiss from the closing door

You can see on the way in, a night of that she won’t tell
The rings go on, earrings go in, chain in knots
Happy and not, wondering where the right went wrong
Insides go to turning cartwheels from butterfly wings
No, just can’t be seen this way by the sound of the sigh
Glow in surprise, discovered, no taint, just another man’s smile

G.R. Hambley ©
June 12, 2015