transitionu

Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Tag Archives: Emotional Presence

Foreign Liaisons

Foreign Liaisons

There are times when a chance encounter will forever stay memorable. Of course this is one of those times or I wouldn’t be telling me about it so I can tell you about it.

A woman and her two daughters took the table beside me late one Sunday afternoon. Mom unknowingly knocked my plug lose from the outlet when she sat down on the long bench we share in this cafe.

“Hee Sun” is the woman’s name and she is a creative. Hee Sun and her daughters are South Korean. I learned this in conversation with mom.

Thus begins a tale of enchanting encounter and wonder.

Apology was made for knocking out the plug. Assurances given that there was no need for sorry and no harm was done.

The lady stands and reseats herself after I’ve returned the plug to the outlet. Where the outlets are in this cafe, decorum demands you either put the plug in for someone or get out of the way. Not doing so could lead to an incident which in this case would have been an international incident and who needs those?!

It’s difficult to not see what is up on someone’s computer when you’re settling yourself in to place. Hey if it were something that private you wouldn’t be working on that something in a cafe.

I had some art and poetry I was working on up on my computer and Mom saw it when she sat back down. Hee Sun asked she me about what she saw.

Doesn’t happen often and I’ve done it myself, commented on something I’ve seen that’s art. Made a couple nice friendships that way but I don’t advise trying it unless you’re a creative. A little understanding and perspective folks. Understanding that there are personable people and that being personable is a good thing is a nice start.

I could have shut off any conversation right quick just be putting my ear buds in. Not like I haven’t done it before and won’t do it again. Sometimes when I got the buds in they’re just in so I don’t have to listen to anything and by anything I also mean anyone.

We start to talk and Hee Sun tells me she has written a children’s book and the illustrations are done by the daughter who is at home in South Korea.

GRH - Hee Book 02.Slice of sliceJPGThe two daughters (I do not know their names) were graduating McGill and Mom had come from South Korea for the girls commencement. They had a few days here in Toronto; then a couple days in Montreal for the exercise and back to Toronto for a few more days.

Choosing Toronto over Montreal to tour, good choice. Toronto is the most cosmopolitan city in the world. Landing here in “Community Mine”, lucky for me and lucky for Mom.

We can have the Toronto vs Montreal debate another time.

So me and she talked. We shared our thoughts about poetry and art. We talked a bit about her two graduating girls. We talked about how we’re all the same.

Sun Hee and me talked for about an hour as the girls amused themselves with their phones. The girls will be staying here and looking for jobs. We talked about that too.

Oh alas, oh woe is me. They’re grown up and they’re staying here and they’ll be so far away from their dear mother. If you’re thinking the lament of this South Korean Mother is the same as a Canadian mother or an American Mother or Jewish Mother, you’d be correct. You’d be correct because we’re all the same.

It wasn’t that extreme but Hee Sun was feeling the separation anxiety.

She read a couple of my poems and a narrative of mine. We went through them together as Hee Sun read aloud. She apologized for English once as she went to one of her daughters for help with better understanding the English through Korean.

Hee Sun showed me the cover of her book on her phone. She said she had one copy at the hotel and would send it to me. You see the book she sent me in the first image.

I mentioned her 3rd daughter did the illustrations for the book and they are terrific. Strangely or maybe not, the mom in the book looks similar to Hee Sun. Maybe it’s just because they have the same hair-do. Nah, it’s deeper than that.

GRH - Hee Book 01.SliceJPGI introduced the lady to John Donne and like so many, she knew Donne without knowing it’s John Donne. I told Hee Sun that I have a good friend who after reading Mr. Donne’s Ye Olde English, decided that any future spelling errors would be attributed to Ye Olde English. The lady smiled at that.

Hee Sun spent a semester at Harvard and did a trail visiting the places of poets renowned in England. She likes the Romance poets and now has another romance poet she likes, me.

I had this conversation a couple weeks ago (June 04, 2017) and I’ve run the encounter past some of those in this “Community Mine” that I’m friends with. The thing about those people in my community and I point it out to them as we talk, they’re the same as me and Sun Hee and another friend of mine who is a mom and lives in South Africa.

We are all the same. We all want the same things.
A decent place to live.
Enough to eat.
Some work.
Some leisure.

That’s it folks. All she wrote. Simple stuff. We all want the same because we are all the same.

“Good Friend” saw this piece pretty close to the completion point. It was asked by Good Friend, “What about love?”. I don’t know if we all want love and I’ll take that up elsewhere.

I didn’t set out on this enchanting encounter of mine to tug at heart strings. What we two were talking about, how could it not? It could only not tug the heart at least a little if we aren’t the same.

Hee Sun provided me with her address and she will be receiving a letter from me. There is so much wonderful in a real letter, a hand written letter. Tactile and tangible and on occasion, scented.

Our conversation was worldly and I loved every minute of it. I’m going to tell her so by hand.

I went and had a look at where Hee Sun lives in Korea, Gimpo and it is pronounced, “Kimpo”. If you’re aged enough and were a fan of MASH, you’ve heard that name before.

The first return in the search brought me a bit from a wiki, Gimpo, directly across the Han river is North Korea.

I can’t even fathom living that. Sure I understand the political just fine but I can’t even grasp living with that situation in my backyard.

I will ask Hee Sun in the letter I write her to try and tell me how she feels about living with that threat as she does and I hope she’ll reply. I will be relating and asking other things as well.

Hee Sun told me she plays the guitar and sings. I’m thinking if I ask nicely, perhaps she’ll tell me a musical story.

G.R. Hambley ©
June 19, 2017

 

 

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A Hair Piece

A Hair Piece

I had a grand plan. I came up with a work around regarding an emotional attachment. Then I discovered something so close to the culmination that I do know; complete the research before beginning enactment of your grand plan.

I’d planned, quietly, letting my hair grow to donate it. Three people were told of my plan as it was getting close to cutting the tail time for this tale. As far as anyone was concerned through the growing, I was just growing the pony tail because I really like it, which I do.

I’ve been doing this for a LONG time!

GRH Hair June 06 2017 - 03

I’ve written about walking the talking you do. I don’t know how many times I’ve said to people, “I do what I can” and I do.

I wrote another piece about me opting out on the pink in October campaign and why.

Another factor in my decision to grow out my hair for donation was familial. Some serious irony in this man’s passing.

The emotional attachment, I love my pony tail, I really do. The work around, let it grow for another couple months and then I’d still have enough to both donate and keep the tail going. A win/win situation.

The reason my pony tail won’t be accepted, I have more than 5% grey in my hair. You can read all about donating your hair for cancer here. The fact that the wig program is just for women (also news to me) and therefore not equal is to my mind, so unfair. I’m okay with the women only designation though.

I’m told by a woman that I related my tail tale of woe to, she’d thought of doing the same, donating her hair. The reasoning for not more than 5% grey I’m told is because grey hair cannot be dyed.

Been doing the managing of this mop that long too!

GRH Hair June 06 2017 - 02GRH Hair June 06 2017 - 01

I’ve related what I’ve encountered to ½ a dozen people now. Those people can’t understand why grey hair wouldn’t be wanted. Perhaps we should get the People at “Pantene Beautiful Lengths” in touch with the people at “Dove” and their campaign for real beauty.

My audience during one of my relatings, a woman and a man. We were talking a bit about the grey factor. I said that (there’s that damn modicum of decorum again) I’ve seen older women with the silver/grey look and they were smokin’. The man laughed at the older women comment and I told him I was looking for a frame of reference.

Had there not been a woman present and he’d laughed after what I’d said, my comment after reference would have been vastly different. Don’t ask!

Yes I’m emotionally present, a romance poet and still a guy!

Perhaps the grand plan of some other entity was for my plan to come apart so I’d write the tale and share it with the world.

I do what I can do. The donation of my hair was something I really wanted to do. It would be doing as I say in a number of ways, “Making my little piece of the world better”.

I make my little piece better, you make your little piece better, we got a better world. Simple stuff really.

G.R. Hambley ©
June 06, 2016

Curios

Curios

Curios

Curios

Mine is mine and to each their own
so whom are we to pass judgement

One’s choices predicated upon
by how you my dear individual perceive

Reapers, the purveyors of goods grim
honouring both dollar and ritual

But just because you can
does it mean you should indulge the macabre

Incendiary with a highly volatile fuse
fostering unspoken mortification

Done from love by loss
as inherently personal as love’s little death

Memories tactile, both taking away
and in embracing the pain

Open wide to holding up a mirror
reflection upon your hurting self

Morbid, magnificent, maudlin, majestic
what else could be said of selections such

Each and every with their unique curio
memory memorabilia a curious thing

Nature ‘tis of we mournful beasts
displaying in so many ways

Turning cheek, both other and off if you please
my crass, your cats ass

One tap, two tap, three, forever remains in me

G.R. Hambley ©
June 01, 2017

I made an error in formatting on the original post. The error is now corrected. The poetry has not changed.

eHealth Ontario and Wicked Ways Wynne

eHealth Ontario and Wicked Ways Wynne

We are about a year away from the next election in Ontario. The “No Wynne” Liberals are in full save their collective of asses mode.

Billion dollar scandals; The Liberals are infamous for billion dollar scandals! Over paying for electricity, multiple billions in the dumping of surplus electricity, not building gas plants and of course an oldie and a real goodie, the Billion dollar scandal attached to eHealth Ontario.

I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for almost ½ my life. First week of June I’ll be going to a new to me pain clinic. There is nothing of my past history following me around that is readily available to the staff of that clinic. Nothing they can review prior to seeing me for the first time. There is no historical data to compare against.

I’m going to have to relate everything, again. I’m going to have to fill out the same condition information sheets, again. I’m going to have to sign releases, again. I have to do these things all again because there is nothing attached to me for clinic staff to review.

Fortunately, I keep pretty fair records and they are all electronic. The information I’ve got will still require review. We’re going from ground zero and we shouldn’t have to. Part of the reason we have to start over when there is a change, because of the Billion dollar eHealth mess up courtesy of Ontario’s Governing Liberals.

True Wynne wasn’t Premiere in 2009 and McGuinty was. Also true Wynne and her Liberals have screwed up eHealth even more. With performance as the yardstick, I have to believe patronage with Wynne’s brother-in-law attached to eHealth.

Let me make it easy for you and me, your search parameter is, “Kathleen Wynne eHealth Ontario”. You aint gonna like it.

Signing the release to obtain is no guarantee what is being asked for is going to be delivered by the record holder to the record owner, me.

Two requests were made to obtain by my current doctor of my previous doctor. The requests went unanswered.

I’ve had the who owns the records conversation briefly with 2 different doctors over the last couple days. We all agree, the records belong to the patient. Without the patient there are no records to make.

You can get a vehicle repair/maintenance report from a dealership on a used vehicle you are purchasing. If the vehicle is plugged in to the system you get what has been entered. The dealership or mechanics that have worked on the vehicle don’t own the records, the vehicle owner does.

No more should we ever be having a problem with accessing our health records. The capability is here.

Is it fair to have a doctor go back 20 years and convert the patient file to “E” format? No, it isn’t. Is it unreasonable in this age for a doctor to be providing “E” data to the rightful owner after a current visit, no. The vehicle owner gets the mechanics report so why wouldn’t an individual get a report on their machine from the mechanic doctor?

Yes I understand there are a number of hurdles but the end goal is attainable. The end goal is for an individual to be able to control their own historical health information. The end goal would be much closer had Ontario’s Liberals not blown that Billion dollars.

Does Ontario’s Premiere Wicked Witch Wynne really care about the people as she would now have you believe? Electricity rate reduction and high speed rail Toronto – Windsor corridor to name a couple recent carrots being dangled for the proletariat.

“No Wynne” doesn’t care about the people and never has. Shouldn’t hold that against her though. I can’t name any politicians that care about the people. If they did, those politicians would get their party leaders in touch with the peoples anger and voice.

Kathleen Wynne does care about her bullying agenda and telling people what is absolutely best for them. Give Wynne pushback and she brands you or plays a card. The exception being showing up at her doorstep. Do that and then she’ll bend over and kiss your butt.

I came to these conclusions based on Wynne’s performance and oddly enough, Wynne’s lack of performance. You can bet big that Wynne and her Provincial Liberals are on board with the Federal Liberals in trying to eradicate free speech. See Federal Motion, M-103.

How soon do you think the Liberals will introduce “Governmentaphobia” in to a revised motion? All so you can’t talk about government with the scorn and disgust they so richly deserve!

I’ve used and will continue to use this Heritage Plaque that I pass 3 or 4 times a week. We as Ontarians and Canadians are entitled to a certain standard and we just aren’t getting it. Municipal to Provincial to Federal, we aren’t getting what we’re entitled to.

It isn’t wrong to be angry. It isn’t wrong to be vocal. What you do with the anger and the voice can be wrong. Those who would like to make you eat your anger and shut off your voice, that is called emotionally controlling and they’re the ones who are wrong.

Ontario’s next election is on or before June 07, 2018, be relevant!

G.R. Hambley May 27, 2017
All rights reserved

Medical Assisted Dying Bill C-14

 

Community; Mine

Community; Mine

Souls old, souls new, souls lost, some hoping desperately to be found
Philosophers, perambulators and pals, the odd sniff of pretention
Hims and hers, some that are, quite honestly, deeply confused
Every face, should you care, bringing a unique study in story

Retro and metro, and for others, the splendour that is sartorial
Eye on a passing thigh and my oh my is that Rebel Circus I spy
Open minds, open hearts, open conversations and well who knew
Faces from faraway places, happily in a space that has no races

Accountants, Aides to Teaching, but if you can’t say without preaching
Cups of coffee, gallons of conversation and Sugar when it’s Psunday*
Quips and quills, more than a few spills, splotches of great delusion
Untold stories, stories shared, stories that will be woven by me

Aged, ageless, those just beginning to write their journey for the ages
In they tromp, costumed and not, cute as buttons, kids enjoying theatre
New ones in 21st century jolly jumpers, jump dad jump, gee thanks mom
Thespians, orators, of both the professional and amateur ranks rant

As life goes on all around you, yours for the sharing, it’s no illusion
Names and faces, you come to know, as you do enjoyment grows
Contacts, connections, conversations in confidence, all do ensue
Elves wearing bells bearing versions of coffee, catch me one if you can

G.R. Hambley ©
May 09, 2017

Supporting the Causes

Supporting the Causes

Yesterday was April 30th, the end of “Testicular Cancer Awareness Month”.

Also yesterday, I was asked to put an 8 Ball emoji on my FB page for “Prostrate Cancer Awareness”.

I told the individual that asked I wasn’t saying no but I’d have something to say on the subject.

I don’t like to override myself. I like to give my postings 3 or 4 days before putting up something new. Exceptions to the rule and rule carefully those exceptions. I got a personal beaut too.

Causes, we all have them and most people are of the mind that their cause is the cause everyone should get behind. If you aren’t on board with them then you’re some kind of something they can stick a label on.

In my travels through April I saw no mention of what April represented on the cancer frontline. I’m talking about usual moving around in the core of my city. No special deals with a percentage going to research for testicular cancer. I got my face in a knot over this lack of male consideration in a piece I wrote about opting out on pink in October.

I was enlightened by a member of my community that one of those major entities I note in the no pink for me has changed the way they do things. This would also be a lesson in being at the least personable, and even better outgoing within your community. You do meet some terrific people.

I don’t know how far reaching the cancer campaign for, “Lady Balls” was. For the uninitiated, Lady Balls are ovaries. That was the crux of the campaign, ladies got balls. Appealing to those feminists sans vagina and FemiNazis everywhere no doubt. Pissing off more than a few along the way with the approach too.

Someone close to me went to Ovarian cancer. I know what it’s about. I can even use the real words that represent the condition. I also happen to believe you shouldn’t be cute when it comes to health matters. That doesn’t mean you should be brutal either.

We in the 1st world are pushed at electronically on a daily basis. Push technology assaulting us when we the people want pull technology. No one likes being pushed.

Showing what cause(s) you’re behind is a good thing. Showing and telling people in your own space where they can learn more about or support the cause, also a good thing. Quietly asking someone for a hand for your cause as was the case with my being asked to post the 8 Ball, another good thing.

In the moment I have my own causes to consider and the things I need to do to be done.

Sorry man, the emoji is out, hope this will suffice.

8 Ball 01

G.R. Hambley May 1st, 2017

Spinsters – Lyric

Spinsters

Lyric

Spinsters Fini 01

What you’re seeing is the font I write in. I’ve never been enamoured  with the formatting options here at WP so on occasion, I work around the lack of options.

Spinsters

Stories making the rounds
none to be believed
none to be trusted
careful not to get busted

Those new age spinsters
dishing up their gospel
dishing up who’s in hospital
careful not to go to hell

Telling you what you should
dirt found on every track
dirt found in every attack
careful not to take it in the back

got yourself busted
took yourself to hell
won’t be coming back
Spinning hucksters wheel going round and round
Running freedom down in to the ground

Round and round…

Down in to the ground…

Going to take more than a frown…

Spew in streaming sensaround
feel that whole mind invasion
feel that total frustration
mold to fit the compilation

Spoon feeding the grand plan
using grins from ear to ear
using anything that will adhere
mold never stops injecting fear

Making the conscious beginning
listen to that self interested person
listen to that warning of treason
mold resolve to your reason

turn your dial to decompile
take hold of your fear
fill your head with reason
Spinning hucksters wheel going round and round
Running freedom down in to the ground

Round and round…

Down in to the ground…

Going to take more than a frown…

G.R. Hambley ©
April 22, 2017

No More Yesterday’s – Lyric

No More Yesterday’s

(Lyric)

There were those who’d gone ahead
Learned the ropes and roads and dread
Some came and shared their mind
Others struggled and suffered and died
No one ever got out completely alive

Time hasn’t healed all our wounds
Easier now standing dressed and proud
Told the only way to win was not to play
Left choices to those we entrusted our fate
Now freedom calls us to shine another day

          Can’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Won’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Already lived your yesterdays

So few right and too many wrong plans
Time has come to make another stand
Not going to wear the dreams they drape
Can’t let them drain us to fill their grail
This trip around no one is going to escape

There’s a new train leaving the station
Going to be a change in world relation
Angry faces with voices of dispute
None wanting freedom will be left out
Finally freed from their absolutes

          Can’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Won’t go back cuz there’s no more yesterdays
          Already lived your yesterdays

G.R. Hambley ©
January 17, 2017

Girls Rite – Lyric

Girls Rite

Lyric

You hear them, it’s the shame every time
They’ve all had it happen, been torn apart
Now another one’s got the no romance blues
They’re together to get another over a him

See it playing in the eyes of each one
The hell that goes on in a single girl’s mind
The smug satisfied looks of the married kind
Drinks raised to how she’s not come undone

Glasses go up, the smiles turn down
Cheer goes down, the burning starts up

You hear the broken one laying him out
Some of them silently nod or sadly smile
Others pretending with their lipstick service
The call goes out for, “Whiskers on Kittens”

See the red stains on their pearly whites
Bloody finger nails clawing in the air
All but one singing, “Hit The Road Jack”
From here it sounds like he escaped Jill

Glasses go up, the smiles stay down
Cheer winds down, the burning speeds up

You hear loud and clear what she says he said
Bobble heads nodding to the every word is true tune
Before one more minute goes by, not a dry eye
Some of them wearing the crocodile glycerin stain

See them congratulating their pretty ugly selves
Being a weapon of emasculation hasn’t set with one
Singing the sister’s song didn’t set her free
She might even say but, it’s now half past two

Glasses go down, the smiles now frowns
Cheer winds up, those whiskers dried up
Goodnight you kittens who’ll never need mittens

G.R. Hambley ©
November 18, 2016

You No More – Lyric

You No More

(Lyric)

Sometimes you just know
just know you got no more
no more love left to give

You’ve gone round and round
and round one more time
more time won’t change this back

I’ve stood down and I’ve stood up
stood up when others talked down
down when I knew you lied again (rest 2 3 4)

You gotta know your hold is gone
You gotta know there’s no more
You gotta know, I gave you all, all, all… of me
Oh Oh…, you gotta know… (rest 2 3 4)

There’s gonna be someone else
someone else after I’m over you
over you and your ghost is gone

You never loved what you had
you had someone who just cared
just cared about you and no other

Won’t have hands holding my heart
my loving heart belongs beside another
beside another that knows how to love (rest 2 3 4)

You gotta know your hold is gone
You gotta know there’s no more
You gotta know, I gave you all, all, all… of me
Oh Oh…, you gotta know… (rest 2 3 4)

In love all alone had to end…
had to end so I could be free…
be free to love another… (rest 2 3 4)

You gotta know, I’ll give her all, all, all… of me
Oh Oh…, you gotta know… Oh Oh…, you gotta know…
she’ll be good to only me

G.R. Hambley ©
November 01, 2016