Canada Escalates War With Denmark and Now Ready for USA CelebEXit!
OTTAWA CANADA – May 21, 2017
While your source has been unable to verify the timeline, the belief is that the plan to drive the savage cheese wielders from Canada’s proximity will be enacted 24 May, 2017 and has received Royal Assent.
Word is that Her Royal Highness, Queen Liz, is in agreement with the plan to end the war between Canada the right and Denmark the wrong. Hostilities to begin following the Canadian May two four long weekend.
Operation “Fish Schnapps” is part of the ongoing advancement of the Canadian movement as the right and honourable rulers of the world.
Canadian Immigration states they are finally ready for the influx of celebrities and their followers. The ones actually making good on their promise and exiting the USA. Canadian officials apologized for the delay in being ready for the exodus. Apparently it was easier to raise the country than build a wall (see attached map).
Major General Carrie Boux leads the Canadian operation to secure Hans Island and forever put an end to the despised moldy cheese wielders of the Danish Butter & Croissant coalition.
The appointment to duty of Major General Boux is much to the chagrin of disgraced Defence Minister Harjit Sajjin. An unnamed source (Prime Minister Gerald Butts) stated Sajjin wanted to orchestrate the venture and may still have if you ask him.
When asked why Ms Boux was chosen to lead the Canadian contingent, Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau sang passionately, though off key, that Ms Carrie Boux is the very model of a modern major general.
Ottawa also announced that all women of Denmark, Iceland and Greenland that have received honorary Canadian Citizenship, that honour has been revoked. Those women will have to reapply after hostilities have ceased.
The psychotic ranting of the Danish. These usurpers of the Great White North will use anything in their propaganda mill to derive sympathy.
Denmark’s position that they are the rightful owners of Hans Island is supported by Greenland and Iceland. This support despite the objections of the respective populaces to conscription.
Danish minister of defence, “Herr Ng” refused to rise to the bait when grilled by representatives of the impotent United Nations.
While Canadians are not a nice people, they aren’t the Nazis the Danish would have the world believe we are stated a justifiably perturbed Carrie Boux!
Free Hans Island from the Canadian oppression
FREE HANS ISLAND
(The Danish Butter and Croissant position)
For many years now, the Canadian military has systematically invaded the Danish territory of Hans Island. In doing so, Canada have demonstrated a total disregard for international treaties. Despite repeated pleas for peace, Canada has not shown any remorse on the matter. Because of this, we demand that Canada is excluded from NATO, and apologize to the people of Denmark for their repeated offences.
Response from most Canadians to the Danish lies have been to offer the Danes a fish dinner. It was clarified that when those Canadians said, “Feed the Danes and their conscripts of Greenland and Iceland a KOHO”, they were not talking about a big fish.
Canadian assault weapons
When General Boux was queried on how Canada expected to defend Hans Island, the question was taken for answer by Canada’s dictator in waiting, MS J. Trudeau. On sighting what he believed to be a new giant selfie cam, Ms Trudeau fled the stage without so much as a single um or ah.
It was later revealed the object Ms Trudeau thought was a giant selfie cam, is in fact the spy cam that will be attached to “Free Rosie”.
The Canadian Navy feels this is an important step towards interspecies relations.
The Royal Canadian Navy further believes the initiative taken will also appease Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne. The Premiere is dead set against a Willie or a Sam of any kind. Wynne had previously threatened to withdraw the use of Ontario’s, “Polar Bear Provincial Park” as the training ground for Americans of CelebEx were the picture not, “Rosier”.
Immigration Canada’s contribution to operation “Fish Schnapps”, directs all Celebrities and their followers fleeing emigrating from the USA to an intake point in Vancouver British Columbia. After portage training, the Celebs and their followers will make their way by traditional canoes to defend build their new homes on beautiful Hans Island! (See attached Map)
The celebrities and their brethren will be standing on guard for Canada’s mighty pretty rock for the next 7 years less a day. Canadian’s being the fair people they are, didn’t want the Celebrities to think they were signing up for some form of servitude.
Canadian Forces provided photographs of a current training mission involving the first wave of American Celebrities.
Canadian Forces CelebEx Trainers
The modern Major General did note that while the trainers are harsh, there is nothing partisan in the way they conduct operations. Carrie Boux further said that not everyone had to out run the trainers, “outrun a few of the other trainees and you’ll be fine”.
General Boux ended the press briefing by making it clear Canada and all Canadians will no longer stand for the Danish theft of our beloved Maple Leaf and a very good bottle of rye whisky. “Enough already with trying to appease Canada with a semaphore flag and fish schnapps” said the Major General.
The General did answer one final question as she was leaving the platform. It was asked what would be the fastest way to end hostilities, the General replied, “Send in a seal team to get Herr Ng”.
G.R. Hambley ©
May 20, 2017