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Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Tag Archives: Humour

Starbucks; Diversity and Inclusiveness

Starbucks; Diversity and Inclusiveness

I appreciate the efforts Seattle’s favourite favorite Mermaid has taken to foster diversity and inclusiveness.

Wasn’t to far back the Canadian Elves had sensitivity training and I’ll tell you straight up, the Coffee Elves I know are all a Bonnie Bunch of Baristas.

I do think that being welcoming to “STALKERS” and giving them their own gift card is a wee bit extreme, but I don’t make policy.

Star Stalker 01sz

G.R. Hambley ©
July 05, 2018

 

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A Time Traveler’s Obelisk

A Time Traveler’s Obelisk

I was visiting my Obelisk this week and got a little retrospective.  I enjoy flipping through time and screwing with the “Temporal Prime Directive”, among other things.

I reiterate, “My Obelisk” so get your own. No, no I don’t share!

A pothole appears where there never was one and you lose your oil pan. A tear suddenly happens in the grocery bag you’re totting and your goods are falling out. You find yourself going the wrong way on a one way street and you tell the cop writing you up that you’d swear on the stack of burgers you got on the seat beside you that the arrow point the way you’re going.

These are all impositions brought upon you by time travellers. It’s a very good idea to watch whom you piss off cuz…. They could be a time traveller. They could have angelic friends who don’t mind handing out some comeuppance so to speak.

I was winging my way around and stopped in front of the Hockey Hall of Fame to admire, “The Players Bench”. While I was gazing on said sculpture my critical thinking decided the piece should be seen throughout history.

I like this “Players Bench” piece enough that I think those in the past and those in the future should be able to appreciate Canadian Culture at my desire.

A couple days back I went forward to next Thursday (check the posting date) and brought the sculpture with me inside my Obelisk where it shall remain forever, maybe.

If you’re located right beside the sculpture at oh, 3ish in the afternoon, don’t be  leaning on the thing getting your picture taken. If you’re attached to the piece when it moves, you’re going in to my Obelisk and I aint letting you out!

In the future and past, I will be moving things around and when I do, it makes holes and tears in the fabric of time. If you should lose something or bottomed out, among other evil nasty things that you can’t disprove in court … I did warn you!

G.R. Hambley ©
May 06, 2018, maybe

Carlin Influence? More than I knew!

Doesn’t matter what the endeavour is, we all have influences that are part of our developed style. This presumes you have a style and if you don’t, maybe someday, if you work at it, often, you’ll have a style too.

There are two parts to language and they are “Cognitive Academic” and “Basic Interpersonal”. If you prefer, the two parts are what you write and what you talk.

As directed in the “Teach English as a Foreign Language (TEFL)” course, I was reading a paper where I hit a line and a bit from “Carlin on Language” immediately appeared vociferously at full volume in my brain.

This is how it went when I told “Good Friend” about the incident.

They hurt my head. I was reading and then OW! Fortunately for me, George Carlin went off in my brain and then it was okay.

Front-loading EL
Purpose Ensure access to content instruction taught in English by “preteaching” for upcoming language demands

Content Determined by language purposes. Teaches sentence structures and vocabulary needed to engage in content skills or concepts

Preteach. no such thing! It’s teaching. Carlin, “Preboarding”, it’s not “Preboarding” and is “Boarding”. Mutter mutter mutter!

I swear some of this shit jargon is designed to make you go, “What the hell is this bullshit”.

I’m a big fan of George Carlin and have been for a long, long time. That I vehemently disagree with his take on Golf Courses and Voting,

Carlin Meme 004

it doesn’t change that the man was brilliant and I love his stuff. I even got to see him perform once, yeah, it was great and I smiggle just thinking about it. “Smiggle” is my own word and It is derived from a combined smirk and giggle.

I had Carlin’s AM FM Album when I was a teenager. It was when I was a mid twenties adult that I saw George.

I’m not completely on board with what Carlin blames as the creator of PC Language. I have some clearly defined ideas of my own on whom to blame for the PC Language. I do agree with the Madison Avenue reference George uses.

Influence without realization to a degree. The two types of language, blending the “Cognitive Academic” with the “Basic interpersonal” in his delivery. It hit me as I was doing course work just how much more brilliant Carlin was then I ever realized.

Carlin Meme 002

Carlin blended those two aspects of the language so well where I only do it well. I checked in with “Good Friend” on this matter of blending the academic information with interpersonal delivery. “Good Friend” said yes, I do that blending well.

Our mediums are different but not. Do you not think Carlin wrote everything down and worked out the pieces before delivering them to an audience? Of course he did, simple stuff.

I do the same as I write to be read by you good people. Could I do a stand-up thing, yeah I could but it would be something I developed that isn’t comedy as such and I will not be a Carlin clone. There was only one, he’s it!

Blending language and I have a couple papers to write. I have leeway on topic. Just perhaps I should give the powers that be insight in to that blending of the “Cognitive Academic” and the “Basic Interpersonal” when there is a Construction Oops.

The topic, I hear there’s a crane in Toronto they can’t get down. I know exactly how the language in that conversation is going to go!

Down to it for me but we’ll let George have the last word.

Carlin Meme 003

G.R. Hambley ©
October 03, 2017

 

Canada Escalates War With Denmark and Now Ready for USA CelebEXit!

Canada Escalates War With Denmark and Now Ready for USA CelebEXit!

OTTAWA CANADA – May 21, 2017

While your source has been unable to verify the timeline, the belief is that the plan to drive the savage cheese wielders from Canada’s proximity will be enacted 24 May, 2017 and has received Royal Assent.

Word is that Her Royal Highness, Queen Liz, is in agreement with the plan to end the war between Canada the right and Denmark the wrong. Hostilities to begin following the Canadian May two four long weekend.

Operation “Fish Schnapps” is part of the ongoing advancement of the Canadian movement as the right and honourable rulers of the world.

Canadian Immigration states they are finally ready for the influx of celebrities and their followers. The ones actually making good on their promise and exiting the USA. Canadian officials apologized for the delay in being ready for the exodus. Apparently it was easier to raise the country than build a wall (see attached map).

CANADIAN WORLD DOMINATION PLAN

Major General Carrie Boux leads the Canadian operation to secure Hans Island and forever put an end to the despised moldy cheese wielders of the Danish Butter & Croissant coalition.

The appointment to duty of Major General Boux is much to the chagrin of disgraced Defence Minister Harjit Sajjin. An unnamed source (Prime Minister Gerald Butts) stated Sajjin wanted to orchestrate the venture and may still have if you ask him.

When asked why Ms Boux was chosen to lead the Canadian contingent, Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau sang passionately, though off key, that Ms Carrie Boux is the very model of a modern major general.

Ottawa also announced that all women of Denmark, Iceland and Greenland that have received honorary Canadian Citizenship, that honour has been revoked. Those women will have to reapply after hostilities have ceased.

The psychotic ranting of the Danish. These usurpers of the Great White North will use anything in their propaganda mill to derive sympathy.

Denmark’s position that they are the rightful owners of Hans Island is supported by Greenland and Iceland. This support despite the objections of the respective populaces to conscription.

Danish minister of defence, “Herr Ng” refused to rise to the bait when grilled by representatives of the impotent United Nations.

While Canadians are not a nice people, they aren’t the Nazis the Danish would have the world believe we are stated a justifiably perturbed Carrie Boux!

Free Hans Island from the Canadian oppression

FREE HANS ISLAND
(The Danish Butter and Croissant position)

For many years now, the Canadian military has systematically invaded the Danish territory of Hans Island. In doing so, Canada have demonstrated a total disregard for international treaties. Despite repeated pleas for peace, Canada has not shown any remorse on the matter. Because of this, we demand that Canada is excluded from NATO, and apologize to the people of Denmark for their repeated offences.

Response from most Canadians to the Danish lies have been to offer the Danes a fish dinner. It was clarified that when those Canadians said, “Feed the Danes and their conscripts of Greenland and Iceland a KOHO”, they were not talking about a big fish.

Canadian assault weapons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When General Boux was queried on how Canada expected to defend Hans Island, the question was taken for answer by Canada’s dictator in waiting, MS J. Trudeau. On sighting what he believed to be a new giant selfie cam, Ms Trudeau fled the stage without so much as a single um or ah.

It was later revealed the object Ms Trudeau thought was a giant selfie cam, is in fact the spy cam that will be attached to “Free Rosie”.

The Canadian Navy feels this is an important step towards interspecies relations.

The Royal Canadian Navy further believes the initiative taken will also appease Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne. The Premiere is dead set against a Willie or a Sam of any kind. Wynne had previously threatened to withdraw the use of Ontario’s, “Polar Bear Provincial Park” as the training ground for Americans of CelebEx were the picture not, “Rosier”.

Immigration Canada’s contribution to operation “Fish Schnapps”, directs all Celebrities and their followers fleeing emigrating from the USA to an intake point in Vancouver British Columbia. After portage training, the Celebs and their followers will make their way by traditional canoes to defend build their new homes on beautiful Hans Island! (See attached Map)

The celebrities and their brethren will be standing on guard for Canada’s mighty pretty rock for the next 7 years less a day. Canadian’s being the fair people they are, didn’t want the Celebrities to think they were signing up for some form of servitude.

Canadian Forces provided photographs of a current training mission involving the first wave of American Celebrities.

Canadian Forces CelebEx Trainers

The modern Major General did note that while the trainers are harsh, there is nothing partisan in the way they conduct operations. Carrie Boux further said that not everyone had to out run the trainers, “outrun a few of the other trainees and you’ll be fine”.

General Boux ended the press briefing by making it clear Canada and all Canadians will no longer stand for the Danish theft of our beloved Maple Leaf and a very good bottle of rye whisky. “Enough already with trying to appease Canada with a semaphore flag and fish schnapps” said the Major General.

 

The General did answer one final question as she was leaving the platform. It was asked what would be the fastest way to end hostilities, the General replied, “Send in a seal team to get Herr Ng”.

G.R. Hambley ©
May 20, 2017

Hans Island

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GRINITATION

GRINITATION

It works. Try it for yourself.

grinitation-fini-01

Stoney Lonesome

We’ve a new friend in the writers Menagerie. Our new pal has made him self quite at home with me and the others. He has BartholoMEW to fly with. Horace, Harvey and Jerome appreciate having a 4th for Euchre and Bridge.

When he and Bernie sing at the same time it can drive you right bonkers! You can listen for yourself. Bernie is all about the tunes but this guys likes the videos. Hard to believe our new friend is as old as he is.

He’s complex and really a sweet guy when you get to know him who does have his moments. But don’t we all have our moments; some of them Majik.

All the links open to new tabs.

Stoney Lonesome

Resting on the roof in his dignified resolute way
Eons long he’s been the go to one and now he’s numb
Going to take some serious doing to stop him stewing
Inclined to make old stone face smile so up the case I go

Reginald Gargoyle

Now and again he remembers his heart isn’t stone
An angel’s love he says he’s without so relishes quiet
Looking off in to space so you can’t see his teary face
Dreary days turn to dark nights and she’s not here

G.R. Hambley  ©
June 14, 2016

Chronological Posting List

Bird Warbles

One more from the Menagerie that enjoy the writers loft.

Yes another that appeared to fill a need. Attempts were made to discover from whence he came, no luck.

Each of the links opens a tune on Spotify the Bird likes. The last one is his theme song!

Bernie

Bird Warbles

Bop, bop, bop goes that beaky bird
Endless renditions of “peel me a grape
Rousing the rest to “be bop, bop, bop a lula
New age techno pop a not, not, not
Indie rock never gets stuck in that craw
Everybody’s rockin’ the joint, a job well done

G.R. Hambley ©
February 06, 2016

Water Pony

Water Pony

Jousting playfully for positioning with your companions new
Electric eel the game of choice, precocious you are when instigating
Reaching the majesty of six foot forty-two, when uncurling that tail
Oh how you snort and that look in your eyes when we let it snap back
Much to our chagrin, finding you’re charged in when hopping on
Energetic, eclectic with more than just a touch or two of the eccentric

G.R. Hambley ©
January 27, 2016

Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Your Number One.”

The #1 song in the US on my date of birth

Well considering I’ve gone on to make, “MAJIK” perhaps the song is highly relevant and poignant.

I do have a great love for “The Word” and for Art. Both my words and art and that of others.

I guess there is something relational to Alvin because I do get in to stuff and can be a smartass. Follow the link and you can judge for yourself.

Spasm-Banner01

The Chipmunks also did a version of, “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and I do know alternative words to that little ditty. Yeah, you don’t wanna know! Well I just choose not to put it here but if you ask quietly, remember you asked!

Being Canadian and therefore a Member Of The Commonwealth I checked the UK Chart as well. That just depressed me. NOT. NOT, NOT!

I’ve written lyric poetry that just needs someone to put the dots put to it.

It is just so unfair. Don’t know where Purple People Eater or Love Potion No 9 charted or when but purple is my favourite crayon and I’ve written a bit of eroticism that is very well received.

Winter Freeze is the PURPLE art.

Delight is my best piece of eroticism. The poetry 45 minutes. The art, 8 hours.

John Donne is an other I love.

 

https://play.spotify.com/track/5j5JjvsOUA2OjTDVdJiZOx

Coffee and a 90 Second Sonnet

Coffee and a 90 Second Sonnet

I’d had to go outside one of my coffee spots to warm up, got looking at the sign and 90 seconds later I had an acrostic sonnet.

Okay so it isn’t classic sonnet style but it’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Something I want to make very clear. The coffee elves are very good about turning the A.C. off when it gets real frosty. The problem isn’t the care and concern of the good elves. The problem is a poorly designed system that won’t shut off because there is no proper sensing of the environment.

And how do I know this you ask? Sheet Metal was my trade. Commercial / Industrial air systems more specifically.

Next, I want my “Canadian Dragon Fish”! A while back coffee spot was running short of all 3 of their brews. They asked if I’d like a combo of what they had. I said sure just give me a 1/3 of everything. Not unusual for me as I’d make my own blend when going to the grocery store.

The blend of the 3 was really good so I just stuck with that mix when I’d come in. I liked it so much I gave it the “Canadian Dragon Fish” name. Coffee elves at the couple spots I frequent liked that I named the blend and they really liked the name I gave the blend.

The 3 coffees in the blend are, True North (Canadian), Pike Place (pike is a fish) and Komodo Dragon (Dragon).

Coffee spot hasn’t had that blend for a while and the current blend is quite good but it just aint as good as my blend. Yes, the coffee elves got to calling it, “Gary’s Blend” and Gary wants it back!

G.R. Hambley © July 11,2015

Slowly
Turning
A
Radiant
Blue
Under
Cold’s
Killing
Cantankerous
Over
Frigid
Facility
Eviscerating
Energy
CTB_IceColdWaterSZ