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Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm

Tag Archives: Love

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

Single and Sixty, Sage Advice

This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!

Machi Fini MINSARC FINI signed.jpgSo, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.

The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.

I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.

We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.

It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.

SZ0075Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different

That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.

Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.

I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company.  I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.

Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.

Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.

Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.

Inspirational Moment HeaderOne of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.

A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.

Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.

I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.

I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.

The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.

Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…

We would all be appreciative!

The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.

The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.

The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!

SZ0078

Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.

Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?

I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace.  That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.

If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.

I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.

I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.

Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.

There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.

I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.

Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.

Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.

I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.

Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.

These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!

This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.

http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/

I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.

With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.

I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.

I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.

That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.

If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.

If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.

I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.

So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.

Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.

G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018

 

 

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Changes

Starring in to the shadow of yourself, ’tis somewhat like starring in to the abyss.

Changes

Lyric

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Need a plan that’s been defined

Figured out some things
Left others behind to die
If we’re telling the truth
Knew them both long ago

Rainbows over waterfalls
Heartaches under sunbeams
Smiles pasted on never wear off
Lookin’ for space in between

Somehow someway says the reason
Key inside of me keeps turning
Wound tighter than I’d ever been
Visions aren’t hallucinations

Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Now a plan that’s been refined

Theory worked real well
Putting it in to practice
Read all the detour signs
Even heeded the damn things

There aint no battle cry
I’m all out of quiet desperation
Door got closed on the what it is
Wide open to a siren dream

Still a pile of things to do
Goodbyes ‘ill maybe get sent
There’ll be a few to see
Done it all and now I’m free

Those changes on the mind
Didn’t make them blind
Got a plan that’s perfectly mine

G.R. Hambley ©
June 27, 2018

Stirrings

Stirrings

Evolving and adapting ‘tisn’t so for every such thing
Maturation hasn’t taken what is desirously alive
Byways in sunset years, a life long constant smoulders
Eagerly and ambivalently skipping stones in this new old age
Relations and passing ships should they dock or not
Solely isn’t lonely, without young angst, this heart still seeks

G.R. Hambley ©
May 01, 2018

Chronological List

Good Morning Toronto March 31/18

Good Morning Toronto March 31/18

A phone shot at 6:45 am. I like Morning much more than I used too. I really enjoy the city when it’s quiet and the sites are coming up.

Toronto k-b march 31 2018.jpg

G.R. Hambley © March 31, 2018

My New Year Eve, 2017

My New Year Eve, 2017

Today is the winter solstice and tomorrow the days start getting longer again. The world turns over and while some parts of this big old world have their winter sleep, other parts welcome the days of summer.

The winter solstice to me as a spiritual person, my greatest time of reflection while looking forward to what will come next year.

GRH Enjoy Shades 002

For me this day is also the day of giving thanks.

Out with the old and in with the new, it just aint that simple.

I’ve so much world open to me now that all the work I did to achieve something I wanted so badly is complete. When 2017 began, I had no idea that when the year ended I’d be an English Teacher and technically qualified to teach anywhere in the world. I may have had a few of my friends shaking their heads over my commitment to achieving the goal. Thankfully, I got good friends who understand what it means to be driven, in a good way.

Good Friend” and “Pen Pal” heard much more than others of the education path I was on. My rants were over things that would piss anyone off and had nothing to do with my abilities or lack there of. If you follow those links, you’ll get a look at the regard I have for those two individuals I call friend.

Another community friend who has become friend in our discussions and meandering around, we help each other out. He’s gifted me with some terrific photographs.

GRH Relevant 01

Ara Sagherian Photograph ©

He is both happy and not that I’ll be leaving. He wishes me nothing but the best. This is what you call honouring friendship on a direct emotional level. You speak the words. He took this shot

Driven and committed are not bad things though I do think those two people a couple of times would have been okay with driving me somewhere to be committed. I’m thinking it’s a shame, “The Hotel California” aint what it used to be. That is a tale I will someday write, maybe.

I’m thankful and appreciative of all my community friendlies too. The relationship is different. I talk about relationship in some of my narratives. My belief is that it is important to recognize those in your community. Most of the people do but there are a couple who just won’t. We aren’t talking about a relationship where you’re kissing someone in the ear. Being aware and personable is all we are talking about here.

I’ve a note this morning from an artist I’m fond of asking about being ready for the season and putting up the tree. The person notes going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. I know all about those feelings and have suspected this person, like me, has some level of S.A.D., “Seasonal Affective Disorder”. I had noticed the mindset before and offered up some help.

This other artist doesn’t know what today means to means to me. I don’t know if this other artist knows where and what the “Christmas Tree” actually represents.

Sammy Tree 01In this day and age, most people call it “Cultural Appropriation”. This tree thingy like any other thingy, I would hope you know the history and honour it. Simple stuff.

I’m pleased and thankful that more people from around the world visited me this year when I have published less new content than last year.

I’ve now opened my email this morning and I’m smiling big cuz someone special has gifted me a, “Happy New Year”. I love things like that. Another person special to me is thanking me for remembering their birthday. I’m blessed to know and have these people in my life. What goes around comes around folks so if ya want it ya gotta give it. I would suggest the adaptation of one of my favs, “Freely, Joyously, Willingly”.

I’m also doing grunt work as I write this at my year end. Backup, backup, backup. Losing the computer would be one thing but losing the content I’ve created would be a hell of a lot worse!

A stray thought gets triggered about days of birth as I meander along this morning. I share the same birth day as Jack Nicholson and I do tell people this should explain a lot. Those people ponder that statement, look at me and usually just nod. By that logic people born on the same day would have characteristics of others born on the same day. Not born in the same year and yes born on the same day. I have very good reason to think that.

All my life’s a circle, seasons spinning round again, the years keep rolling by. Then there is, “So off you go horizon bound”.

Chapin Shot 01Thanks again Harry and I still miss you and I’m still angry with you all these years later. I can’t believe how much time has passed in my own circle of life since you left us.

My time in this place is about done and for how long I will be away, I do not know. There is no timetable beyond thinking that at age 65 I’ll have to be in Canada and teaching will be in Toronto and/or online.

I went out and got me something that goes well with what I already love and has the potential to be sustaining for a long time. I do have that 150-year plan, as some of you who read me know.

I have a couple things to put in their place including the current melancholy and wistfulness.

Do not misconstrue dear friends, I am excited to greet the future and I shall adapt to my life’s changes.

My heroes have all been story tellers and I have more stories to discover in this big beautiful world. Stories and my love for the word, that’s why I’m going.

Another friend set off a trigger, Damn drummers are almost as bad as bears for getting in to shit. This is for you and thanks man but how about Toronto California?!

And that Drummer’s trigger set this off… “I said to my reflection lets get out of this place“.

To all of you the best of this season and all seasons.

I am out of here!

G.R. Hambley ©
December 21, 2017 – New Year Eve

What Happened to Harry Chapin

Chapin Photo Pinterest

 

Lyrics List

Lyrics List

Then one day you look around and notice just how many you’ve done.

There is a contact me form at the end of the list.

G.R. Hambley © all rights reserved.
1 Little Black Dressed is collaboration that is very special.
Living out life in a gleeful rage
Innocence in this smile, tricks in another
The sweetness of the slaughter upon the lips
The second-hand silk is only a tease
2 Closing Time
Another time, another place,
you’d become not just another face
3 Making My Way
Walking round and round that house of tells
Your voice comes calling out in the dark
Heard you sayin’ it’d be right for this old heart
4 From The Stars
Long before there was sin
Way out where the souls begin
Came a song in a whisper
5 We Have One Now
Happens once and a while, only for one man smile
An angel face, melting eyes, her sweet breathy sighs
Dropping in to talk, lingering on a walk
6 Edge Walking
Waking to another day, already on the knife
Always at the ready, keep staying honed
Lookin’ round, it all appears the same as yesterday
7 Realize It’s Over
It’s about taking time to take time
There just hasn’t been much at all
Call comes in on the telephone line
8 On That Jersey Shore
Started out like any other day
Woke up with the waves calling
Wanted to just lie there numb
9 If You Dare
Once in a time
that was better than anything in your mind
Not so strange
in a world where love’s made such a change
10 Red Rose Among The Trees
Know this being all alone to well
Staying late, never going home
Seeing others close, sticks and stones
Hands in hands, hands in my pockets
11 Baby Be Mine
She’s colder than northern winds
She’s hotter than original sins
Gonna be there and bide my time
Do right and make that girl mine
12 Now Begins Forever
We’ve been going round and round
exchanging our half smiles
having all those conversations
where we won’t let them the end
13 Counter Cutie
Climbs herself up on that chair, gives up a little high thigh
Overtly lets them legs cross, grey skirt makes a swift shift
Uncrossing them, a small curvy push, tilting back the cool stool
14 Nella Notte Cieca
Believing with all her heart someday it’ll come true
Letting the living lie slide on out the way it came
Inside where she hides from herself and the pain
15 Angel Beach
We were just walkin’ along that beach
Seeing the ripples, rise higher and higher
Stopping to stare into that setting sun
16 Won’t You Tell Me
Baby I got these thoughts going on
Sitting all by myself at home
Sitting here feeling all alone
17 Beach Bound
Been working an all night day
Now there’s time for a little fun
Sun’s making its morning run
18 Departure Gate
Fretting over it hour after hour
Worrying about it night after night
Feeling it fall week after week
Been knowing it for months now
19 Train Of Thought
Sitting on this sweltering city roof
Far below people roaming around
Sweating and swearing as they go
20 The Devil’s Fine Day
He done went down from heaven
The boy just up and shuffled off
The Devil took himself a powder that day
21 Witness
Looking for a little down time
.     had to get myself away
Monday morning glory
.     wasn’t happening today
22 Crashing Down
Day slides it’s way to the end
Not looking forward to going home
Turning in at that bend in the road
Rather be making a long drive alone
23 Fallen Angel
Newly fallen she wakes to a different world today
And she’s never
never been on her own before
Went from home on the hill to a home on loan
24 In The Quiet Of The Night
Half past midnight and finally free
free from the demands of a clamoring world
World moving so fast it’s hard to keep your feet
feet feel like miles and the miles feel like hell
25 You No More
Sometimes you just know
just know you got no more
no more love left to give
26 Girls Rite
You hear them, it’s the shame every time
They’ve all had it happen, been torn apart
Now another one’s got the no romance blues
27 Falling Apart
These days are almighty long
the nights so lonely
Giving the best for the cheque
spending nights in hazy dread
28 Once Again
Once again freedom’s crying
ringing out while on the run
It falls to the old ones
those who long ago came of age
29 No More Yesterday’s
There were those who’d gone ahead
Learned the ropes and roads and dread
Some came and shared their mind
Others struggled and suffered and died
30 Everyone’s Girl
Her days don’t begin before three
Her nights spent in party grove
Never seen the sun go down
Seen it coming up so damn often
31 Lost And Found
The times wearing me on down
no time for any little thing
Sprung from the trap you set
gonna take the fast road back
32 Lake Side
Day dreaming out on the rocks
sun setting the lake ablaze
all but gone the hostage daze
letting down all the blocks
33 Haunting Her
Unseen she stepped inside
Know it’s her by the steps
She stares straight ahead
Her face kept firmly set
34 Once Bitten
We were young and oh so cool
Back when we were all fools
Feelin’ our way around
35 Spinsters
Stories making the rounds
none to be believed
none to be trusted
careful not to get busted
36 Left Unsaid
Whispers and rustles making the rounds
Sighs and gasps the disbelieving sounds
It’s between us, no one must, couldn’t ever be us
37 Were You Me
Watching out the window on a cloudy day
Caught up in all those billows shifting shapes
Faces through my ages floating in grey space
There’s so little that’s left out in front
38 Missing Day
Up in the morning and the coffee’s on
Sour dough toasting, golden for me
A little cinnamon sugar reminds of you
Not even seven and there’s the phone
39 Going Clean
Whispers in the air
Eyebrows raising up
Pretending not to hear
Taking in what’s said
40 If Only
Walking on home alone,
that old bell softly chimes
Passing right on by,
the tower bell strikes again
Falling farther behind
that niggling bell tolls once more
G. R. Hambley ©
All rights reserved

English 101, 100

English 101, 100

I took the final assessment of the first TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) module this morning., September 01, 2017. Feels and seems somewhat fitting with this being Labour Day and the kids back to school on Tuesday. Thanks Harry

Everyone looks forward to that day as summer closes down for another year.

If I satisfy me, it will more than satisfy the minimum requirement. Mind over matter. I mind so it matters. This certificate is not the prize.

The Brass Ring

The minimum requirement isn’t good enough for me. I spoke with a couple of friends prior to taking this examination. I explained my position, my attitude this way. Tipping, the service staff want 20%, expect 15% and settle get about 10%. For me on this path, I want 100%, I expect 95% and I’ll settle for 90%. On this one I got what I want and I deserve what I got. I’ll be expecting the same from myself going forward.

Assessment - Intro to Enflish Langiuage Teaching

 

 

 

Quite literally, this endeavour means the world to me. This is my current world and I want more of the world.

The photograph above taken by my good buddy “Ara Sagherian” is a clue to this posting’s Theme Song, it’s “Harry Chapin” and could be one of a couple songs. Do the research. Trust me, it’s a pleasant trip.

G.R. Hambley ©
September 01, 2017

Boom Boom Boom

Boom Boom Boom

and

Boom 02sz

up

Boom 01sz

go

Boom 03sz

condos

My city grows, and like it’s people, colourfully.

G.R. Hambley in Toronto August 13, 2017 ©

Lightning Blossom

Lightning Blossom

 

Lightning Blossom 001

 

G. R. Hambley © August 12, 2017

Were You Me – Lyric

Were You Me

Lyric

Watching out the window on a cloudy day
Caught up in all those billows shifting shapes
Faces through my ages floating in grey space
There’s so little that’s left out in front
There’s so much that got left behind
Got more that keeps hanging on

Were I you and you me
          It’d all be so much easier to see
Were I you and you me
          I wouldn’t have to make you believe

Watching out this window could take all day
Caught up in all that gave me my shape
Faces of some, only the name remains in place
Why even worry about what’s in front
Why would it matter if it bites my behind
Don’t need more to keep hanging on

Were I you and you me
          It’d all be so much easier to see
Were I you and you me
          I wouldn’t have to make you believe

Watching out that window took all day
Caught up in what needs put in shape
Faces, could manage one more with grace
When you can find someone up front
When it matters you can leave behind
Finding there’s so much life to hang on

Were I you and you me
          It’d all be so much easier to see
Were I you and you me
          I wouldn’t have to make you believe
Were I you and you me
          You’d know it don’t end until the day you leave

G.R. Hambley ©
May 13, 2017