Life Coaching, Observations, Reflections, Things that make you go hmmmmm
This isn’t an “If I can do it you can do it” piece. There is nothing Machiavellian going on here. It goes on elsewhere and I’m working on that too!
So, I’m now a couple months in to my 60’s and it just aint that big of a deal going from my 50’s in to my 60’s.
The greater emotional turmoil was going from my 30’s in to my 40’s. You soon realise on reaching that number, it’s the backside of life. There was an emotionality in that number that just is not present in the number I’ve now reached.
I’ve spoken with a few of my age group and the few I’ve spoken with concur that the 40;s was tougher than the 50’s or 60’s.
We’ve now touched the age factor and I’ve had a walk around so lets move on to the single aspect at my semi advanced age.
It comes down to choices folks. The choices you make for yourself. I said it before and I say it again, if you care to navigate the world from your armchair, so be it. If you want different you can have different with change. Maybe have a walk around and ponder on it. Who knows what you’ll see.
Film is one of my things and for several years I stopped going. I love film and yet I lost all interest in seeing anything new. It became firmly entrenched when “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer” was released, that there is nothing new and the reaching that was getting done to be different
That thought, the emotion, everything has been done hung me up at one time in my own works. Then I had the realization that while everything may have been done, it hasn’t been done my way.
Now when I go to films, I watch them differently. I’m more interested in how others deliver their art and I watch more critically with my artists eye.
I’ve seen several films in recent weeks and went to them all with only me for company. I enjoy my company and I hope you are someone who enjoys the self.
Having someone to talk with about the film, among other things after you’ve seen it over Strawberry Rhubarb pie, and coffee and/or what ever your little hearts desire.
Something to nibble after a film, is nice as we all know, and when it’s an ear, all the nicer. If films aren’t your thing, there’s always “Sippy Hole Racing” you can watch from that coveted armchair or hammock.
Doesn’t matter if film isn’t your thing. Maybe there is something else in your life you can rediscover from a different perspective? A new adventure with an old love.
One of the films I went to see was, “Book Club”. The audience demographic was quite interesting. Mostly female and some there by themselves.
A good time was had by all who attended. Why? Because funny isn’t age or gender specific is why. We older people know more funny shit than younger people do. We’ve had much more time to refine our “Snarkasm”.
Going to a restaurant alone is an issue for any number of single people. It was a minor issue for me too, for a time.
I’ve always done things by myself. Going and doing alone, not an issue that carries much weight with me still and I believe never will.
I think the most difficult part of going to a restaurant alone is in seeing couples or families enjoying their meals and the company they’re sharing even more. I believe that’s when the loneliness hits. Those emotional pangs turn to bites.
The intimate moments most of us love and I’m not talking about sex. Intimacy and sex are different things my fellow animals.
Yeah I know, the back row at the movies makes for nice intimate moments. If you could have your moments coincide with oh say, the crash and bang on the screen…
We would all be appreciative!
The emotionality and physicality hasn’t changed for me one bit now that I’m well over the hill. I can assure you the feeling hasn’t changed for a number of people in my age demographic.
The emotionality doesn’t appear to have changed for any of those that were enjoying “Book Club” by themselves. Out and enjoying the things they like to do, period. I also suggest going and seeing that film. It will appeal to all generations.
The reality of what we are talking about in this piece is the private hell that is your emotional headspace. You gotta be able to stand that space!
Beauchamp Gallery King Street East, Toronto.
Coping with the “I’m going alone” headspace?
I am for the most part, a solitary creature. I enjoy my own company and usually, my own headspace. That previous sentence, there are those that would tell you I’ve just described myself as a loner. A loner who would have no issues going almost anywhere alone. Not liking crowds is not the same as being a loner.
If you’re a creative, then you’ll already know that we require a good deal of solitary time. Even if pen or brush are not in hand, we could be working on something. If that is you then I suggest you ponder on whether you’re getting out enough; at least to blow the dust off.
I also enjoy my community and getting out in it.
I am personable. I’m an observational writer; got any idea how much time I spend looking around? When I meet someone’s eyes, I don’t look away like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t be, I give a little smile.
Sometimes I notice people looking my way and I smile when they look away quickly. Hey, no one did anything but look around, relax.
There are a couple people who know one of the things I do but unfortunately I don’t have the recognition of a Warhol or Vargas. You can look or trust that I’m a visual artist as well.
I like recognizing the people in my community and that they recognize me.
Even when I’m not seeing anything I’m looking around, non-vacantly. It’s a writer/creative thing.
Getting out and meeting people will require eye contact. If you aren’t comfortable with eye contact I suggest you start with your self, in the mirror, while you tell yourself it’s okay to be and go alone because alone doesn’t mean lonely.
I could ramble around this path until the cows come home. While I’ve been generationally centric in my examples, the feelings are the same for all of us.
Nobody wants to go alone. Many of all ages feel there is a stigma attached to going somewhere other people, couples, families and friends are and there you are alone, embarrassed.
These are feelings you’ll have to find a way to overcome if you want more of the world than what you see on your devices from where ever you’ve decided to park!
This is a good story and worth the read.
Go To The Movies Alone.
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com/go-movies-alone/
I’ve left the hardest part for last, human romantic relationship. Y’all had to know I’d get to it.
With the societal situation we live in today there is a great fear, especially for men that if you approach anyone because they interest you, the approach will be perceived as “harassment”. or possibly “Gold Digging”. We do have to cover all the bases folks and while harassment does happen so does opportunity seeking.
I reiterate, there are only two places and two places only where you meet people, at work and in your activities. Almost everything comes down to two things. Don’t forget your fractions, lowest common denominator.
I know. Trust me I know. With the anger and distrust between the sexes it is difficult to know how to approach anyone.
That brings me back to getting out and doing things you like. There will be other people there like you doing something they enjoy.
If you go to these places with the mindset you’re going there just to enjoy yourself with others who are of a like mind, you’ll (once past the initial jitters) have a good time. Go for yourself and if you meet new friends or someone interesting, lucky you.
If you’re of younger generation and you are thinking about having a family. Your chances of meeting someone at work are not real good. Maybe find symposiums you can go to that are field related.
I actually feel somewhat sorry for the people who live to work (we all know those types) because the chances of meeting someone like you at your place of employment where a hello could get you in in deep sit….. Sitting and listening to HR preach to you on how you must say hello…. Get out and play in traffic where it’s safer for your sanity.
So what is it I want you wonder? This is subject to change but what I want currently is a fulfilling monogamous relationship with autonomous roof.
Like other of my generation and it is a pretty good way to be with relationship so me, I am both looking and not, at many things.
G.R. Hambley ©
July 02, 2018
Starring in to the shadow of yourself, ’tis somewhat like starring in to the abyss.
Lyric
Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Need a plan that’s been defined
Figured out some things
Left others behind to die
If we’re telling the truth
Knew them both long ago
Rainbows over waterfalls
Heartaches under sunbeams
Smiles pasted on never wear off
Lookin’ for space in between
Somehow someway says the reason
Key inside of me keeps turning
Wound tighter than I’d ever been
Visions aren’t hallucinations
Got changes on the mind
Not making them blind
Now a plan that’s been refined
Theory worked real well
Putting it in to practice
Read all the detour signs
Even heeded the damn things
There aint no battle cry
I’m all out of quiet desperation
Door got closed on the what it is
Wide open to a siren dream
Still a pile of things to do
Goodbyes ‘ill maybe get sent
There’ll be a few to see
Done it all and now I’m free
Those changes on the mind
Didn’t make them blind
Got a plan that’s perfectly mine
G.R. Hambley ©
June 27, 2018
I get nerve blocker shots every week. This journey in pain management takes place on June 19th.
I’m never in good humour on a shots day. My “snarkasm” level is high. Snarkasn is a couple steps above sarcasm. I’m agitated. I’ve related this adventure to people and a few wonder how I do this all the time, my response (with a look) is how can I not.
I’m making my way over to the docs OFFICE and it occurred to me that I haven’t shown the other side (East side) of the Market. I’m usually on the west side when I’m there, afternoon sun thing. The west side has two levels, so you can be out of the sun if you care to,
As I get to the office one of the good coffee elves was coming the other way. We chat a bit and I wasn’t pleased that the elf didn’t care to change places with me for an hour. The elf was forgiven later in the day.
On checking in, reception tells me they’re running half an hour late. This adds to the already giant pain in the ass that I already have. If I say I have a “PITA”, it is usually a literal “Pain In The Ass” and not figurative.
I don’t even count how many shots I get at each session anymore. It was 10 or 12 shots. It’ll be the same give or take a couple next week, and the next week…
I do the exit blood pressure check set my next couple appointments and leave.
It’s now past 1:00 pm and with the Market being so close, I know where I’m headed for lunch.
I’ve touted the Market and its Fare before. It was always the savoury. On this day I decided lunch was going to be a dessert. I went critical thinking on this when I saw the selections as I was cutting through to get to the upper west side picnic tables.
Eve’s Temptations and these are just a few!
Having availed my self of one of Eve;s baked goods and a fork I headed for the sunshine.
There are a few late lunchers scattered around and plenty f space to be somewhat solitary. A place to relax and enjoy the peace.
Yes this is the city core. Yes there are city noises that are usual and unobtrusive. The burbs and the boons got there sounds too, I’ve never been a fan of that high tension wire whine.
I pick my spot and make myself comfortable with my “Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble” and Ginger Beer.
After that little slice of delicious I pull out my book and start thinking about poetry.
I truly hope as an artist and teacher cursive writing is never lost. My penmanship isn’t anything to write anyone about and I love it.
Writing, especially by hand, involves a lot of not looking at the page. I do not like strike outs in my handwritten pieces. Each line and how it works with the direction of the piece is considered. When I put the line down that’s how it stays.
I had put my pen down and was looking around. Not really seeing and not really missing anything I’m seeing. The art of paying attention and not if you like.
I see one of my community friendlies coming my way and the individual stops when they get to my table. We wind up in a discussion about relationships and examining things from a different perspective. We talked about the emotionality of the matter. The triggers and drivers of behaviour and what may be trying to be accomplished.
It isn’t always easy to step outside yourself when you’ve been wounded. Sometimes we all need to bounce off another person.
I’m pleased to say that my friend went away in a much better frame of mind than when they arrived.
Me, I went back and added the 4th line to what I’m working on before toddling off.
The poetry started in the sunshine and it shall finish in the sunshine.
G.R. Hambley ©
June 25, 2018
There are changes taking place so that PC speech will recognize all facets of speech and not just what the hyper-sensitive ilk insist on hearing.
Yes, sometimes the hardest part is coming up with a title!
Yah Think!?
Supposedly well trained liberal minds recognize pain’s exhortations
Accounting of no accountability sails majestically in to the sea of pique
Recounting the voyage of the “I did damned well”, without humility
Coarse course corrections have been evaluated and plotted
Another not quite so fine production performance of the Bard’s work
Sherlock’s awareness solicits a defecation notification
Modicum of decorum, no; tempered yes, with fire, as required
G.R. Hambley May 25, 2018 ©
Present tense, with willful consideration, a different state of usual
Remembering as reinforcement instead of making denial
Elixirs of pharmacology, self preservation tames self reservation
Every assist carries it’s own special enlightening twist
More is less but less is also more and the desirous state of being
Pragmatists, by all accounts, should partake of that they teach
Take that step or two outside the self and look well around
Instances repetitive, if you can call almost daily repetitive
Voyaging this damned derelict, course adjustment laid in
Escape by degrees, found in the enacting of the enlightenment
G.R. Hambley ©
May 12, 2018
My news feed told me that Ontario’s Provincial Liberals are promising 800 Million dollars in health care spending on hospitals to acquire staff and reduce wait times.
The header probably should have also said “and among other things, be relevant“.
We know what tap that new gush in spending is coming from don’t we.
Recently and personally, since February 14 I’ve had a couple MRI’s and a couple x-rays. Something I saw when I was having those procedures really pissed me off.
Going back a number of years under Dalton McGuinty we had the eHealth scandal. Kathleen Wynne was a player in that debacle. That little liberal misadventure cost Ontarians 1 Billion dollars. Ontarians are paying about 1 Billion a month to service the Province’s current debt.
The dust settled and Doug Ford is the leader of the Ontario PC’s and is a blustery and well-known commodity, municipally. The Wicked Witch Wynne is in full blown pander mode, but when isn’t she. The Naturally Delusional Party’s Naturally Delusional Poobah showed her true colours when the ALLEGATION against Patrick Brown broke, invoked Ghomeshi to a Toronto Star Reporter, there by displaying her inner FemiNazi.
There is the cast of Leaders for the Ontario Election on or before June 7th, 2018.
Sorry Green Party of Ontario, I appreciate your tenacity but you’re a nonfactor.
Again, we find ourselves tilting hard to strategic voting.
This is a missive for whom ever forms Government.
As far as fiscal responsibility goes, who knows what either the Politically Cantankerous or the Naturally Delusional will do until they are empowered by the electorate to be doing it. Will both hold true to previous people empowered times when they formed the Government?
There is so much to drill Wynne and her contemptible cronies for over the course of their ruinous run on the empowered by the people track. The people empower all the parties to govern, so when you get right down to it, that “who’s the real fool” axiom is playing on a loop in my head.
I like many have a stake in the horse race that is the Ontario General Election.
It isn’t a simple matter of analyzing and predicting whom you think will be the Government when the polls close when you are invested in the result. It is difficult to be detached when you have a stake.
In fact, I have several stakes, just like all other Ontarians. Where health care is concerned, the stakes are high for all of us.
I spoke previously in my Practical Indignation piece about records and there being nothing attached to me. There isn’t anything really attached to you either and had a Billion dollars not been wasted, we would have had a real good start to easier access of the records that belong to us.
The records belong to you. Like a mechanics report on your car, your health mechanic doesn’t own the reports. You don’t leave the mechanics report on your vehicle behind when you leave the shop.
You should be able to leave with a report after you’ve had your own body in the shop. Sometimes the report is a prescription and you can keep record of that before giving it to your pharmacist.
That 1 Billion that belonged to you Ontario, it was supposed to be part of people being more involved and better able to manage their own health care. Easy access to information.
Great concept for something that we absolutely need in health care with piss poor implementation and oversight.
I had MRI’s and x-rays done recently and the MRI’s were in one place and the x-rays in another place. Different service providers if you like.
In the change rooms of both places there was the sign I’m showing you here.
The signs were pretty much identical except for the entity that is managing the access. Access for a fee.
That is your trickle down Liberal Health Care in a province that is spending 1 Billion a month to service debt. There is no central database for you and your doctors to draw on. No easier access to your personal history, Increased repetition of procedures which I speak to in my “Practical Indignancy” piece.
It falls to us across all generations to prod and probe those we elect to put the measures in place that have already been paid for.
It is up to we the electorate to make the changes when those we empowered fail.
Here in Ontario we must make change. We have no other option because the “No Wynne” Liberals have made it so that the electorate have no other reasonable choice but to remove their power.
Wynne’s promise of 800 million for hospitals to reduce wait times and add staff? I’m thinking with performance as the measuring stick, we’re gonna get Liberally stuck again.
When the time comes to cast your vote, please “Be Relevant“.
G.R. Hambley ©
April 10, 2018
Lyric
It’s a funny kind of time
trouble causing in so many minds
get no early warning signs
just keeps running on and on
This new age game of outrage
used to grab the front page
this way for all shout the sage
just keeps screaming on and on
Vices from the Kool-Aid choir
god… the things that they admire
not fun watching them conspire
just keeps tormenting on and on
Signaled loud and profanely proud
Glory glory halleluiah
not gonna hit you with a ruler
Glory glory halleluiah
we only want to rule yah
People being used, abused and shred
crocodile tears from media over the dead
doesn’t matter cuz it’s never on their head
just keep running the rhetoric on and on
Raising up above the signal voices
there’s so many other noises
making all the right choices
just keep counter screaming on and on
Free will in a death dive drop
don’t care, don’t share, don’t shop
fire’s gotten to big to stop
just keep willfully tormenting on and on
Signaled loud and righteously proud
Glory glory halleluiah
not gonna let you be a ruler
Glory glory halleluiah
we only want to school yah
G.R. Hambley ©
April 01, 2016
Today is the winter solstice and tomorrow the days start getting longer again. The world turns over and while some parts of this big old world have their winter sleep, other parts welcome the days of summer.
The winter solstice to me as a spiritual person, my greatest time of reflection while looking forward to what will come next year.
For me this day is also the day of giving thanks.
Out with the old and in with the new, it just aint that simple.
I’ve so much world open to me now that all the work I did to achieve something I wanted so badly is complete. When 2017 began, I had no idea that when the year ended I’d be an English Teacher and technically qualified to teach anywhere in the world. I may have had a few of my friends shaking their heads over my commitment to achieving the goal. Thankfully, I got good friends who understand what it means to be driven, in a good way.
“Good Friend” and “Pen Pal” heard much more than others of the education path I was on. My rants were over things that would piss anyone off and had nothing to do with my abilities or lack there of. If you follow those links, you’ll get a look at the regard I have for those two individuals I call friend.
Another community friend who has become friend in our discussions and meandering around, we help each other out. He’s gifted me with some terrific photographs.
Ara Sagherian Photograph ©
He is both happy and not that I’ll be leaving. He wishes me nothing but the best. This is what you call honouring friendship on a direct emotional level. You speak the words. He took this shot
Driven and committed are not bad things though I do think those two people a couple of times would have been okay with driving me somewhere to be committed. I’m thinking it’s a shame, “The Hotel California” aint what it used to be. That is a tale I will someday write, maybe.
I’m thankful and appreciative of all my community friendlies too. The relationship is different. I talk about relationship in some of my narratives. My belief is that it is important to recognize those in your community. Most of the people do but there are a couple who just won’t. We aren’t talking about a relationship where you’re kissing someone in the ear. Being aware and personable is all we are talking about here.
I’ve a note this morning from an artist I’m fond of asking about being ready for the season and putting up the tree. The person notes going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. I know all about those feelings and have suspected this person, like me, has some level of S.A.D., “Seasonal Affective Disorder”. I had noticed the mindset before and offered up some help.
This other artist doesn’t know what today means to means to me. I don’t know if this other artist knows where and what the “Christmas Tree” actually represents.
In this day and age, most people call it “Cultural Appropriation”. This tree thingy like any other thingy, I would hope you know the history and honour it. Simple stuff.
I’m pleased and thankful that more people from around the world visited me this year when I have published less new content than last year.
I’ve now opened my email this morning and I’m smiling big cuz someone special has gifted me a, “Happy New Year”. I love things like that. Another person special to me is thanking me for remembering their birthday. I’m blessed to know and have these people in my life. What goes around comes around folks so if ya want it ya gotta give it. I would suggest the adaptation of one of my favs, “Freely, Joyously, Willingly”.
I’m also doing grunt work as I write this at my year end. Backup, backup, backup. Losing the computer would be one thing but losing the content I’ve created would be a hell of a lot worse!
A stray thought gets triggered about days of birth as I meander along this morning. I share the same birth day as Jack Nicholson and I do tell people this should explain a lot. Those people ponder that statement, look at me and usually just nod. By that logic people born on the same day would have characteristics of others born on the same day. Not born in the same year and yes born on the same day. I have very good reason to think that.
All my life’s a circle, seasons spinning round again, the years keep rolling by. Then there is, “So off you go horizon bound”.
Thanks again Harry and I still miss you and I’m still angry with you all these years later. I can’t believe how much time has passed in my own circle of life since you left us.
My time in this place is about done and for how long I will be away, I do not know. There is no timetable beyond thinking that at age 65 I’ll have to be in Canada and teaching will be in Toronto and/or online.
I went out and got me something that goes well with what I already love and has the potential to be sustaining for a long time. I do have that 150-year plan, as some of you who read me know.
I have a couple things to put in their place including the current melancholy and wistfulness.
Do not misconstrue dear friends, I am excited to greet the future and I shall adapt to my life’s changes.
My heroes have all been story tellers and I have more stories to discover in this big beautiful world. Stories and my love for the word, that’s why I’m going.
Another friend set off a trigger, Damn drummers are almost as bad as bears for getting in to shit. This is for you and thanks man but how about Toronto California?!
And that Drummer’s trigger set this off… “I said to my reflection lets get out of this place“.
To all of you the best of this season and all seasons.
I am out of here!
G.R. Hambley ©
December 21, 2017 – New Year Eve
Chapin Photo Pinterest
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